ing moment.
"Wait a minute, Hay-ner," I began. "What do you
mean 'We're responsible'? Responsible for what?"
18 Robert Asprin ;
"Why, for the fugitives, of course. Don't you remem- |
ber? When we agreed to let you use this place rent-free,
part of the deal was that if anyone of this household
broke any of the Bazaar rules, and either disappeared
off to another dimension or. otherwise refused to face ;
the charges, that you would personally take responsibil-
ity for their actions. It's a standard clause in any Bazaar
lease."
"Aahz," I said testily, "you cut the deal. Was there a
clause like that in it?" |
"There was," he admitted. "But I was thinking of
Tananda and Chumley at the time... and we'll stand
behind them anytime. Massha, too. It never occurred to
me that they'd try to claim that anyone who walked
through our door was a member of our household. I
don't see how they can hope to prove...."
"We don't have to prove that they're in your house-
hold," Hay-ner smiled. "You have to prove they
aren't." I
"That's crazy," Aahz exploded. "How can we |
prove...." I
"Can it, Aahz. We can't prove it. That's the point. |
All right, Hay-ner. You've got us. Now what exactly
have these characters done that we're responsible for
and what are our options? I thought one of the big sales
points of the Bazaar was that there weren't any rules
here."
"There aren't many," the Deveel said, "but the few
that do exist are strictly enforced. The specific rule your
friends broke involves fraud."
He quickly held up a hand to suppress my retort.
"I know what you're going to say. Fraud sounds like
a silly charge with all the hard bargaining that goes on
here at the Bazaar, but to us it's a serious matter. While
we pride ourselves in driving a hard bargain, once the
MYTH-ING PERSONS 19
deal is made you get the goods you were promised.
Sometimes there are specific details omitted in describ-
ing the goods, but anything actually said is true. That is
our reputation and the continued success of the Bazaar
depends on that reputation being scrupulously main-
tained. If a trader or merchant sells something claiming
it to be magical and it turns out to have no powers at all,
that's fraud ... and if the perpetrators are allowed to go
unpunished, it could mean the end of the Bazaar as we
know it."
"Actually," I said drily, "all I was going to do was
protest you billing them as our friends, but I'll let it go.
What you haven't mentioned is our options."
Hay-ner shrugged. "There are only three, really. You
can pay back the money they took falsely plus a twenty-
five percent fine, accept permanent banishment from
the Bazaar, or you can try to convince your fr—aahh, I
mean the fugitives to return to the Bazaar to settle mat-
ters themselves."
"I see... Very well. You've had your say. Now
please leave so my partner and I can discuss our position
on the matter."
Aahz took care of seeing them out while I plunged
into thought as to what we should do. When he re-
turned, we both sat in silence for the better part of an
hour before either of us spoke.
"Well," I said at last, "what do you think?"
"Banishment from the Bazaar is out!" Aahz snarled.
"Not only would it destroy our reputations, I'm not
about to get run out of the Bazaar and our home over
something as idiotic as this!"
"Agreed," I said grimly. "Even though it occurs to
me that Hay-ner is bluffing on that option. He wants us
to stick around the Bazaar as much as we want to stay.
He was the one who hired us in the first place, remem-
Robert Asprin
20
ber? I think he's expecting us to ante up and pay the
money. That way he gets back some of the squeeze he so
grudgingly parted with. Somehow the idea of giving in
to that kind of pressure really galls me."
Aahz nodded. "Me too."
There followed several more minutes of silence.
"Okay," Aahz said finally, "who's going to say it?"
"We're going to have to go after them." I sighed.
"Half right," Aahz corrected. "I'm going to have to
go after them. Partner or not, we're talking about hit-
ting a totally new dimension here, and it's too danger-
ous for someone at your level of magical skill."
"My level? How about you? You don't have any
powers at all. If it's too dangerous for me, what's sup-
posed to keep you safe?"
"Experience," he said loftily. "I'm used to doing
this, and you aren't. End of argument."
" 'End of argument' nothing! Just how do you pro-
pose to leave me behind if I don't agree?"
"That's easy," Aahz grinned. "See who's standing in
the corner?"
I turned to look where he was pointing, and that's the
last thing I remembered for a long time.
Chapter Three:
"Reliable information is a must for suc-
cessful planning."
—C. COLUMBUS
"HEY! Hot stuff! Wake up!! You okay?"
If I led a different kind of life, those words would
have been uttered by a voluptuous vision of female
loveliness. As it was, they were exclaimed by Massha.
This was one of the first things that penetrated the
fogginess of my mind as I struggled to regain con-
sciousness. I'm never at my best first thing in the morn-
ing, even when I wake up leisurely of my own accord.
Having wakefulness forced upon me by someone else
only guarantees that my mood will be less than pleasant.
However groggy I might be feeling, though, there was
no mistaking the fact that it was Massha shaking me
awake. Even through unfocused eyes, her form was
unmistakable. Imagine, if you will, the largest, fattest
woman you've ever met. Now expand that image by
fifty percent in all directions, top it off with garish
orange hair, and false eyelashes and purple lipstick, and
adorn it with a wheelbarrow load of gaudy jewelry. See
21
Robert Asprin
22
what I mean? I could recognize Massha a mile away on
a dark night... blindfolded.
"Of course I'm okay, apprentice'." I snarled. "Don't
you have any lessons you're supposed to be practicing
or something?"
"Are you sure? she pressed mercilessly.
"Yes, I'm sure. Why do you ask? Can't a fellow take
a little nap without being badgered about it?"
"It's just that you don't usually take naps in the
middle of the reception room floor."
That got my attention, and I forced my eyes into
focus. She was right! For some reason I was sprawled
out on the floor. Now what could have possessed me
to....
Then it all came back! Aahz! The expedition into the
new dimension!
I sat bolt upright... and regretted it immediately. A