For a change, I had an answer for this infuriating
question.
"This road has to go somewhere. Just the fact that it
exists indicates we aren't alone in this dimension."
"I thought we already knew that," Guido said under
his breath. "That's why we're here."
I gave him my best dark glare.
"I believe there was some debate as to whether or not
we were being lied to about Aahz being held prisoner. If
there's a road here, it's a cinch that neither my partner
nor the ones he was chasing built it. That means we have
native types to deal with . .. possibly hostile."
"Right," Massha put in quickly. "Put a sock in it,
Guido. I want to hear our plan of action, and I don't
like being kept waiting by hecklers."
The bodyguard frowned, but kept his silence.
36 Robert Asprin
"Okay. Now, what we've got to do is follow this road
and find out where it goes. Hug the side of the road and
be ready to disappear if you hear anybody coming. We
don't know what the locals look like, and until I have a
model to work from, it's pointless for me to try to dis-
guise us."
With those general marching orders, we made our
way through the dark along the road, moving quietly to
avoid tipping our hand to anyone ahead of us. In a short
time we came up to our first decision point. The road we
were on ended abruptly when it met another, much
larger thoroughfare. My assistants looked at me
expectantly. With a shrug I made the arbitrary decision
and led them off to the right down this new course. As
we went, I reflected with some annoyance that even
though both Massha and Guido knew that I was as new
to this terrain as they were, it somehow fell to me to
choose the path.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of voices
ahead, coming our way. The others heard it too, and
without word or signal we melted into the underbrush.
Squatting down, I peered through the gloom toward the
road, anxious to catch my first glimpse of the native life
forms.
I didn't have long to wait. Two figures appeared, a
young couple by the look of them, talking and laughing
merrily as they went. They looked pretty normal to me,
which was a distinct relief, considering the forms I had
had to imitate in some of the other dimensions. They
were humanoid enough to pass for Klahds... or Jahks,
actually, as they were a bit pale. Their dress was not dis-
similar from my own, though a bit more colorful. Ab-
sorbing all this in a glance, I decided to make my first
try for information. I mean, after all my fears, they
were so familiar it was almost a letdown, so why not
MYTH-ING PERSONS 37
bull ahead? Compared with some of the beings I've had
to deal with in the past, this looked like a piece of cake.
Signaling the others to stay put, I stepped out onto
the road behind my target couple.
"Excuse me!" I called "I'm new to this area and in
need of a little assistance. Could you direct me to the
nearest town?"
Translation pendants were standard equipment for
dimension travel, and as I was wearing one now, I had
no fear of not being understood.
The couple turned to face me, and I was immediately
struck by their eyes. The "whites" of their eyes glowed
a dark red, sending chills down my spine. It occurred to
me that I might have studied the locals a bit longer
before I tried to pass myself off as a native. It also
occurred to me that I had already committed myself to
this course of action and would have to bluff my way
through it regardless. Finally, it occurred to me that I
was a suicidal idiot and that I hoped Massha and Guido
were readying their back-up weapons to save me from
my own impatience.
Strangely enough, the couple didn't seem to notice
anything unusual about my appearance.
"The nearest town? That would be Blut. It's not far,
we just came from there. It's got a pretty wild night life,
if you're into that kind of thing."
There was something about his mouth that nagged at
the edges of my mind. Unfortunately, I couldn't look at
it directly without breaking eye contact, so, buoyed by
my apparent acceptance, I pushed ahead with the con-
versation.
"Actually, I'm not too big on night life. I'm trying to
run down an old friend of mine I've lost touch with. Is
there a post office or a police station in Blut I could ask
at?"
38 Robert Asprin
"Better than that," the man laughed. "The one you
want to talk to is the Dispatcher. He keeps tabs on
everybody. The third warehouse on your left as you
enter town. He's converted the whole second floor into
an office. If he can't help you, nobody can."
As vital as the information was, I only paid it partial
attention. When the man laughed, I had gotten a better
look at his mouth. His teeth were....
"Look at his teeth!" the girl gasped, speaking for the
first time.
"My teeth?" I blinked, realizing with a start that she
was staring at me with undisguised astonishment.
Her companion, in the meantime, had paled notice-
ably and was backing away on unsteady legs.
"You ... you're ... Where did you come from?"
Trying my best to maintain a normal manner until I
had figured out what was going on, I moved forward to
keep our earlier conversational distance.
"The castle on the hill back there. I was just...."
"THE CASTLE!?!"
In a flash the couple turned and sprinted away from
me down the road.
"Monster!! Help!! MONSTER!!!"
I actually spun and looked down the road behind me,
trying to spot the object of their terror. Looking at the
empty road, however, it slowly began to sink in. They
were afraid of me\ Monster?
Of all the reactions I had tried to anticipate for our
reception in this new land, I had never in my wildest
imaginings expected this.
Me? A monster?
"I think we've got problems. High Roller," Massha
said as she and Guido emerged from the brush at my
side.
MYTH-ING PERSONS 39
"I'll say. Unless I'm reading the signs all wrong,
they're afraid of me."
She heaved a great sigh and shook her head.
"That's not what I'm talking about. Did you see their
teeth?"
"I saw his," I said."The canines were long and
pointed. Pretty weird, huh?"
"Not all that weird, Hot Stuff. Think about it. My
bet is that you were just talking to a couple of vam-
pires!"
MYTH-ING PERSONS 41
Chapter Five:
"To survive, one must be able to adapt to
changing situations."
—TYRANNOSAURUS REX
"VAMPIRES," I said carefully.
"Sure. It all fits." Massha nodded. "The pale skin,
the sharp fangs, the red eyeliner, the way they turned
into bats...."
"Turned into bats?"
"You missed it. Boss," Guido supplied. "You were