“Technically, she was supposed to get kidnapped,” Jackson said.
“By us!” Heathcliff cried.
“Plus, you let the enemy know that we are onto them. We’ve lost the element of surprise,” Matilda said.
Jackson shook his head. Badawi would have been snatched by the girl and her goons whether he had tried to help or not. Wasn’t anyone going to point out that little nugget of information?
“We should wipe his mind and send him back to class,” Heathcliff said.
Jackson turned to Duncan. The boy had shown signs of sympathy toward him. Maybe he’d speak up, but Duncan was silently rubbing a bruise on his behind and scowling angrily.
“I agree,” Flinch said.
“So do I,” Ruby said. “As team leader, I’m calling for a vote. All those in favor of expelling Joe Quarterback here, say—”
Brand slammed his hand on the table. Somewhere a guinea pig camera squeaked in fright. “You’re as stubborn as Jackson!” Brand cried.
Ruby started furiously scratching her legs.
“What’s wrong with you?” Brand asked the girl.
“She’s allergic to criticism,” Matilda said.
Brand groaned. “What has happened to my career! I used to drive an Aston Martin. I used to play high-stakes card games for the fate of the world. I used to date beautiful women.”
“Gross!” Flinch said.
“Now look at me.” The spy threw up his hands in exasperation and stormed out of the room.
Ms. Holiday brushed the wrinkles from her skirt and stepped forward. “Pufferfish, I’m very disappointed.”
“What did I do?”
“That man is one of the greatest secret agents this country has ever seen,” Ms. Holiday said. “He lost part of his leg trying to save the world. The Powers That Be have put him in charge of this group. Perhaps they know something about him that you don’t?”
“I don’t need to know anything about him,” Ruby muttered.
“I want all of you to get to work now with Benjamin. Load any information about this mysterious girl you encountered and try to build a three-dimensional model of her so we can search for face matches,” Ms. Holiday said.
“What about me?” Jackson asked.
“I said all of you, Braceface,” the librarian replied.
“So you’re not firing me?”
“Not today.”
“Why not?” Heathcliff begged.
Ms. Holiday flashed Jackson a sympathetic smile as she walked off in the direction of Agent Brand.
“You’re running out of chances,” Heathcliff said to Jackson.
“It’s just a matter of time before you’re gone,” Matilda added.
Jackson was about to argue, but something dawned on him. “Time! What time is it?”
Duncan looked at his watch. Apparently it did more than shoot lasers. “It’s four thirty.”
“Four thirty!” Jackson cried. “I’m late for detention!” Dehaven was going to kill him!
Jackson raced toward the secret entrance that led him out of the lockers. When he was back in the school hallway, he took off at a sprint toward the detention room. He rounded the corner and threw the door open, but the room was empty. There wasn’t a soul waiting inside, only a note written on the chalkboard. It read:
YOU MESSED WITH THE BULL, JACKSON. NOW IT’S TIME FOR THE HORNS.
LEVEL 7 CLEARANCE IS
NEXT, AND YOU’VE EXCEEDED
EVERYONE’S EXPECTATIONS.
STILL, FURTHER DNA SAMPLING
IS REQUIRED. DON’T COMPLAIN.
I HAD TO GO THROUGH THE
SAME PROCESS WHEN I BECAME
A MEMBER OF THE TEAM. IF
YOU WANT TO BE A SECRET
AGENT, YOU HAVE TO MAKE
SACRIFICES. SO INSERT
YOUR ELBOW IN YOUR EAR,
REMOVE SOME WAX, AND
APPLY IT TO THE SENSOR.
NO, I’M NOT KIDDING. WHY
WOULD I MAKE THAT UP?
ELBOW.
EARWAX.
NOW!
LEVEL 7
ACCESS GRANTED
BY THE WAY —
THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST
THING I’VE EVER SEEN.
YOU LOOKED RIDICULOUS.
THE FOLLOWING ARE RECORDED
TRANSCRIPTS OF CALLS MADE
FROM THE HYENA’S DIGITAL
PHONE TO UNKNOWN PERSONS.
September 30, 13:05
Unknown:
Hello.
Hyena:
Hey, my name is the Hyena. I’m a professional assassin and I was wondering if you guys need anyone killed over there. I do a lot of freelance work.
Unknown:
Uh, what did you say your name was?
Hyena:
The Hyena.
Unknown:
Yeah, well, thanks for your call, but we do our killing in-house.
Hyena:
Well, could I at least send my résumé? You never know when problems might spring up.
Unknown:
How old are you?
Hyena:
I’m twelve ... almost thirteen.
<Connection is lost>
Hyena:
Hello? Hello?
September 30, 13:20
Unknown:
Secret Lair. How can I help you?
Hyena:
I was wondering if you’re hiring contract killers.
Unknown:
Hmmm, I don’t think so. I know we’ve got plenty of positions open for goons.
Hyena:
No thanks.
September 30, 13:28