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We both laughed.

“I don’t think Jetta will be surfacing anytime soon, Jude. She spoke her mind and accomplished what she set out to do. At least, that’s the way I view it, but I could always be wrong.”

“No, Marcella, you’re right,” Jude said smugly. “I have confidence in you. But don’t get it twisted.” She poked me in the arm.

“If someone starts fucking with my girl, I will be back to handle things.”

“I have no doubt that you will,” I stated honestly. “I’ll try to make sure that no one fucks with Jonquinette ever again.”

Jude hugged me, which truly shocked me, and whispered in my ear, “Good looking out.”

She headed down the hall to the bedroom. “I’m tired. I need to lie down for a while.”

“Are you okay?” I called after her.

She turned and winked at me. “I’m just fine. We all are.”

I decided to stay at Jonquinette’s apartment to see what happened. Mason knocked on the door and I introduced myself to him. We chatted quietly in the living room for a few minutes, but I refused to go into details since I was still sworn to protect the privacy of my patients. I listened to him comment on things that Jon had obviously revealed to him but I refused to expound upon them.

Mason seemed like a wonderful man and I could see why Jonquinette was so in love with him. Most people would not deal with such a difficult situation but Mason swore that he had no plans to go anywhere. In fact, he told me that he one day planned to marry Jonquinette. I encouraged him to put that on hold until she had time to heal. He agreed to wait.

I let him out and sat down on the sofa, staring at the ceiling and pondering the events of the past several days. I wished Dr. Driggs was still alive so I could seek his advice. I had a call in to another dear friend of mine in Florida. He was on vacation but his secretary assured me that I would be his first phone call upon his return. Either way, with or without another doctor to consult, I was determined to help Jonquinette.

An hour later, I heard the bedroom door creak open and I sat up, waiting to see who would emerge. As soon as she came around the corner, I knew it was Jonquinette. She looked refreshed and had this glow about her.

“How about we go out to dinner?” I suggested. “It would be a good thing for us to get out of this environment for a little while.”

Jonquinette smiled. “I’m starved. Where shall we go?”

“Um, how about Justin’s? I heard the food’s fantastic and I’ve never been.”

“Me either. Sounds good to me. Let me just get a coat.”

“Great. We’ll take my car.”

Jonquinette and I had a lovely dinner at Justin’s and talked about the future, her future.



Ever since the onset of my integration, I must admit that it’s been difficult to accept that I am all alone now. It’s weird because I never really knew them. I just knew that sometimes I simply wasn’t there.

I was finally able to become strong enough to stand alone. A lot of it had to do with making sure that Flower didn’t suffer the same fate as me. All those years, Jude and Jetta existed to protect me. Now it is my time to protect Flower.

Daddy is getting the help that he needs. It is still difficult to forgive and it is impossible to forget. So much pain was caused by his actions—a chain reaction to pain that he endured at an early age himself.

Flower’s mother won’t allow Daddy to see her at all. She said that, in time, she might agree to supervised visits. I decided not to press charges. There was nothing to be gained by that because Daddy has an illness. He’s not a criminal.

Mason and I are still going strong. He has hinted around about marriage but I’m not ready. I have so much more I have to figure out about myself, now that I’m in complete control of all of my actions. Darnetta is still mad at me and not speaking but that’s her prerogative. There will be no more apologies coming from me and I refuse to allow her to make me find another job. If she truly hates me, she can find one because times are hard.

I still go to see Dr. Spencer. I plan to keep my weekly appointments for as long as necessary. Marcella said there is a chance that one or more alters might surface again, but only for a little while and not to the degree that they did before. They would not have the same hold on me. She was honest with me by saying that it could take several years for me to become fully integrated. She said that my alters are still present but all of us are just living together in harmony. I found that difficult to comprehend but I didn’t doubt it. I let her know that I was in it for the long haul. Too many people think they don’t need counseling, when it’s obvious that they do. It is not a sign of weakness, like so many tend to think. It is a sign of empowerment.

Jude and Jetta, wherever you may be, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Also by Zane


The Heat Seekers

The Sex Chronicles: Shattering the Myth

Gettin’ Buck Wild: Sex Chronicles II

The Sisters of APF: The Indoctrination of Soror Ride Dick

Shame on It All


1230 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10020

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2003 by Zane

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Atria Books, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data is available.

ISBN-10: 0-7434-7581-X

ISBN-13: 978-0-7434-7581-5

First Atria Books hardcover edition September 2003

ATRIA BOOKS is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

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