'I think they would, Lady,' he whispered into the fabric. 'Some of them have even torn their clothes for you. Many of them are weeping.'
Livilla felt so excited she was short of breath. 'I will then,' she managed to reply. 'Pinch me,' she hissed at Tiberia.
'What, Mother?'
'Pinch me — pull my hair or something.'
'I can't do that.'
Livilla tried to slap her own face. 'I need to make my eyes water.'
Tiberia picked up her mother's other hand and sank her teeth into it.
'Ow!' Her eyes moistened with the pain. 'Good girl.'
Tiberia looked at her oddly. 'I don't think you should leave the litter, Mother — you're not recovered at all.'
Livilla felt very much recovered but didn't say so. 'They want me to speak to them. I must do so for your father's sake.'
Tiberia began to softly cry again and Livilla again patted her hand. 'I know,' she said. 'I know.'
She drew her veil across her face so that only her eyes could be seen and then raised the litter curtain. Distressed and haggard faces stared back at her. Livilla felt as if her heart was beating in her throat. Her eyes stayed moist on their own account. She was humbled. The litter-bearers lowered her transport to the flagstones. The lictor had already placed a stool for her and she rested her slippered feet on it. Then she stood fully upright to give her a more appropriate height. She looked down at the plain and simple faces of the ordinary Romans — the plebeians, the freedmen and the slaves. Some of them she even recognised. They were Castor's former clients, bereft without their patron. She stood on her toes and craned her neck to see beyond the first few rows. The mob was easily twenty deep, stretching up and down the Via Sacra. There were more people crowded into the entrances of the expensive shops that lined either side of the street. All in all, there were several hundred people waiting to hear her address them.
Livilla's tears flowed down her cheeks without any need for inducement — tears of pride. As a woman, she had never had reason or permission to speak in public in her life. And yet a large crowd had now assembled to hear her. She readied herself to speak.
'Sister!'
Livilla turned in shock. The occupants of the litter that had been approaching from the other direction had alighted and were now forcing a path through the crowd towards her. Three women.
'Sister!'
It was Agrippina with her friends, Sosia and Claudia.
Heads began to turn from Livilla towards the one true widow of Rome. Livilla's moment was being snatched from her.
'My friends,' Livilla began. 'Dear friends of my poor husband.. '
Agrippina pressed her way forward, her face set in such an expression of determination that the rest of the words died on Livilla's tongue. Then Livilla's face flashed with a sudden and terrible fear, something that Agrippina didn't register, nor her friends. But I certainly saw it, being the first slave among Agrippina's trailing retinue. I read the stark terror in Livilla's look and it was obvious to me that she thought Agrippina was about to accuse her.
But Agrippina embraced her sister-in-law, pulling her down from the stool and into Sosia and Claudia's arms. Livilla's fear was replaced by confusion.
'We are together — we are one in what we've suffered,' Agrippina declared. Her voice was high and raised — she intended the crowd to hear it. 'Both our husbands have been taken from us, taken from Rome — taken by the same man!'
Livilla nearly fainted in horror.
'Taken by the same man!' Sosia repeated, her voice holding surprising power.
The watching crowd fell spellbound. Agrippina's retinue of a hundred men and slaves forced themselves among the bewildered throng of Castor's bereaved clients and other onlookers.
'Stop it,' Livilla hissed in Agrippina's ear.
'You know who we accuse,' said Claudia.
'Stop it!' Livilla screamed. She scrambled to get back inside her litter again, taking the bearers by surprise. Half the men lifted, the others didn't, causing the canopied platform to shudder and sway.
'Mother, what are you doing?' Tiberia cried out from inside as Livilla clambered in.
'Take me home!' Livilla screamed at the bearers. Outside, the confused lictor gathered up the stool again. Agrippina and her women friends cast calculating looks at each other and then Agrippina threw herself into the litter, causing Livilla and Tiberia to yell with fright. The six bearers staggered to keep their balance.
Agrippina gripped Livilla by the wrist. 'He killed Germanicus.'
'Let go of me, for the gods' sake!' cried Livilla.
'He was jealous of him — he knew Germanicus would outshine him and he couldn't stand it. He would rather have seen him dead — so that's what he arranged.'
In her fragile emotional state, Tiberia would ordinarily have burst into fresh tears at such a distressing development, but now she was riveted by her aunt's intensity. 'Who? Who arranged it?'
Agrippina stared at the girl. 'You poor little child…'
'Whom do you accuse, aunt?' Tiberia insisted. 'Tell me.'
Livilla tore her wrist from her sister-in-law's grip. 'Don't you dare speak his name, Agrippina.'
'Now he has killed your husband too, jealous of Castor just like he was jealous of Germanicus — he's insane.'
'Castor died of a fever, a river mist…'
'No one believes that, Livilla — not one person in Rome.'
'I believe it — I know it. I saw him when he died.'
Tiberia snatched at Agrippina's clothes. 'Please, tell me who did these terrible things to us, Aunt.'
Livilla slapped Agrippina hard across the cheek. 'If you say Sejanus's name aloud he will kill you — do you understand? He will kill you for it.'
Tiberia blanched. 'The Praetorian Prefect?'
'You never heard me say it,' Livilla threatened her. 'You never heard me, girl.'
But it was Agrippina's turn for bewilderment. 'But I accuse Tiberius…'
Livilla threw a shocked hand to her lips as her face went very white.
'Prefect Sejanus is a soldier,' said Agrippina. 'He has no reason to kill my husband or yours — his role is to serve his betters. He is not even a patrician.'
It took Livilla a long moment to steady herself. She had guessed very wrongly where Agrippina's accusation would lie, and in doing so had made a fateful mistake. Outside, the litter was moving so slowly through the surging crowds that I was easily able to keep up and overhear this desperate conversation. But Agrippina's intensity was so great that she missed the significance of what Livilla had said, so certain was she that Tiberius was to blame. Agrippina produced a scrap of papyrus from the folds of her woollen palla.
'Someone sends me these. I don't know who, but he is a friend.'
Livilla allowed the papyrus to uncurl in her hand. It was a torn fragment from something much larger and she dimly recognised the lettering.
'It's by my mother, Julia,' said Agrippina. 'She wrote this while imprisoned, and not long before she died. She thought my grandfather, the Divine Augustus, was coming to forgive her, but she learned too late that he had fallen to the same hand that had taken all those before him.'
Livilla began to read it… your golden brothers murdered in their prime, never realising, never seeing death come…
She couldn't believe what she was seeing. 'But this is — '
'About your own grandmother. Livia killed my three brothers and many more; she killed my father, Agrippa, and she killed my mother's first husband, Marcellus. And do you know why? So no one would stand in the path of Tiberius taking the place of the Divine Augustus.'
Outside the litter my throat went very dry. This was the first I had learned of the mysterious letter fragments. My own role in all those murders was, of course, considerable. Had Julia guessed this and also written about me?