“Bingo.”
“What?”
“You’ve just hit the nail on the head. Our whole purpose for being is to be gladiators.”
“Gladiators?” Ferret declared, his eyebrows arching. He glanced at Gremlin. “Did he say gladiators?”
“I picked up the word from Spartacus and it fits us to a T. He told me all about how those ancient Roman dudes were trained to go out in an arena and kick butt. We’re the same way. And if we try to resist, if we don’t go out and get a little action now and then, we’re denying our biological imperative,” Lynx concluded, and beamed, quite pleased with himself. He’d been working on his pitch for over three months, ever since he’d initially proposed going on a mission outside the Home and his cohorts had irately shot the idea down in verbal flames. But Lynx had refused to concede defeat. He’d been determined to go on a run no matter what it took.
Why should the other Warriors have all the fun?
There were 18 Warriors responsible for protecting the Home and safeguarding the Family. They were divided into fighting groups designated as Triads: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Omega, Zulu, and Bravo. Lynx and his friends comprised Bravo. And while most of the other Warriors had been given the opportunity to venture far afield on dangerous assignments, Bravo Triad had not.
Lynx wanted to change that.
He had devised a devious scheme. The key to his strategy lay in persuading the top Warrior, Blade, to take them along. To that end he had gone to each of the other Warriors and ever so tactfully mentioned the fact Bravo Triad hadn’t seen any real action in ages and that their skills were starting to deteriorate from the extended inactivity. When the other Warriors, natural fighters that they were, had commiserated and kindly expressed a wish that they could help, Lynx had coyly suggested they should make a mention of the fact to Blade and recommend Bravo Triad go on a run. Lynx had asked the other Warriors to refrain from mentioning his name when they talked to the giant.
And his ploy had worked!
Lynx almost snickered at the thought of his triumph. Instead, he kept a straight face and asked Ferret, “What do you think?”
“I think you’re insane.”
“You’ve got to admit my argument has merit.”
“We’ve been all through this before, airhead. Gremlin and I don’t want to go on a mission. Go by yourself and leave us alone.”
“But we’re a team,” Lynx protested, alarmed by the realization his own buddies might ruin his carefully laid plans.
“Don’t remind us,” Ferret cracked.
Peeved, Lynx turned to Gremlin. “What do you say?”
“You already know, yes?”
“Isn’t there anything I can do to make you guys change your minds?”
Ferret and Gremlin answered, loudly, in unsion. “No!”
His shoulders sagging, Lynx walked a few yards to the north and sat down on a log. The perfect picture of depression.
“Well, if that’s your final decision, there’s no sense in trying to persuade you. I know when I’m licked. And I’m not the type to try and take advantage of the best pals a guy could have.”
“Oh, brother,” Ferret said.
Gremlin took a few steps toward the cat-man, sadness tinging his countenance. “We’re sorry, yes? We didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, no.”
“That’s okay. I understand,” Lynx replied, and vented a protracted sigh.
“I don’t blame you for being mad. Not at all. You were always level with me. You told me no months ago and I went and tried to pull a fast one on you. I’m scum. I know it.”
Gremlin took another pace. “You’re not scum, no.”
“Yeah. I’m no better than horse manure,” Lynx declared emotionally.
“After all we’ve been through together, after we survived the war between the Federation and the Doktor, after we survived being captured by those android geeks down in Houston, after we laid our lives on the line for each other again and again, I pull a stunt like this.” He shook his head. “I’m not worthy of your friendship.”
“You are, yes,” Gremlin stated. He walked over and placed his right hand on the cat-man’s shoulder. “Don’t talk like this, no. It’s not like you, yes?”
Lynx lifted a face reflecting profound sorrow. “Maybe I should ask to be transferred to another Triad.”
“Never!” Gremlin exclaimed, extremely upset by the proposal. “We’re the Three Musketeers, yes? We always stick together, no? Through thick and thin.”
“Good old Gremlin,” Lynx said, and patted the hand on his shoulder.
“We can always count on you, can’t we? You know, I’ve never told you this before, but I’ve always believed that out of all the hybrids the damn Doktor created, out of all us freaks in his menagerie, you were the kindest, the most noble.”
“Really?” Gremlin responded, genuinely moved by the compliment. “I had no idea, no.”
“Oh, brother,” Ferret grumbled.
“Yep,” Lynx went on. “Maybe that’s why the bastard performed all those operations on your brain and made you talk the way you do. He couldn’t stand havin’ created something decent for once, so he made you the guinea pig in some of his stinkin’ experiments.”
“Gremlin always wondered why the Doktor singled him out, yes?” Gremlin mentioned.
“Now you know,” Lynx said.
Gremlin stepped to one side and gazed at the blue sky. “Doktor was an evil, evil man, no?”
“The Doktor was slime,” Lynx concurred. “And just think of how many more lives the bastard would have ruined if we hadn’t wasted him.”
“Blade did the wasting,” Ferret interjected.
“Well, yeah, technically, I suppose,” Lynx acknowledged reluctantly, then fell silent for all of ten seconds. “It’s too bad, isn’t it?”
“What is, yes?” Gremlin asked.
“That killin’ that chump didn’t do much to make this world a better place to live in. I mean, new threats are croppin’ up all the time.
Sometimes it seems like hardly a month goes by without someone or something tryin’ to destroy the Home and wipe out the Family, who have to be the nicest bunch of people around.”
“I remember you telling us once that the Family is so devoted to the Spirit, so involved with loving one another and being kind and courteous and all, that they make you want to puke,” Ferret noted.
“I said that years ago, back when I didn’t know any better,” Lynx stated.
“You still don’t know any better.”
The cat-man ignored Ferret and looked at Gremlin again. “You see my point, don’t you?”
“What point, yes?”
“About the real reason I wanted us to go on a run. It wasn’t so much for me or us, but for the Family. Look at how nice they’ve been to us. They took us in after the Doktor died and allowed us to become full-fledged Family members. We eat three squares a day and have a roof over our heads when we want one. And they never ask for nothin’ in return except that we pull our own weight as Warriors.”
“Very true, yes,” Gremlin agreed.
Lynx stared dejectedly at the grass. “So what if I wanted to do the right thing and go on our fair share of the missions. So what if I think we owe the Family for all the kindness they’ve shown us, I shouldn’t have volunteered our Triad without first consulting you two.”
“You are a good hybrid, no?”
“Now I’m the one who feels like he needs to puke,” Ferret declared.
“Go ahead. Make fun of me all you want to,” Lynx said. “I deserve it.”
“You’re a terrible martyr,” Ferret commented.
“Lynx does have a point, yes?” Gremlin pointed out, turning around.
“Yeah. On the top of his head,” Ferret replied.
“Maybe we should do more to help the Family, no?”