I leaned back in my chair and looked at the clock over the door. Six o’clock was still an agonizing, merciful half hour away. Too soon to know if this was a good idea. Not nearly soon enough to satisfy this craving.
The minutes passed by too fast and too slow, and before I knew it, it was finally six. I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door, not sure if I was more excited or nervous about this. All the way home, I worried about it even while the anticipation of his kiss made my mouth water.
I took a quick shower and changed clothes. The whole time I shaved, I tried to ignore my own scrutiny, avoiding eye contact with my reflection. It was easier to convince myself this was a good idea if I didn’t have to look myself in the eye.
By the time I was out the door, it was quarter to seven. I guessed from his address that he was about fifteen minutes away, so my timing would be perfect. I’d be right on time.
Fifteen minutes was short enough to keep me from overanalyzing the situation and convincing myself this was a bad idea. It was also too long to wait to see him again.
A few second thoughts tried to cross my mind, but I pushed them aside. I wanted this. Whether I needed it or not, whether it was a good idea or not, I really didn’t care.
But what if he’d had second thoughts in the hours since we parted ways? If I was this conflicted about seeing him, about sleeping with him again, I could only imagine what was going through his mind. Then again, he’d sought me out. If he’d had any agonizing to do about it, he’d likely done it well before he stepped into The Epidauran with a pre-written note and mint to temper the taste of smoke in his mouth.
He wanted this. I wanted this. That wasn’t all that mattered, but it was all I gave a damn about.
Fifteen minutes after I left, I pulled into Nathan’s driveway and parked in front of the garage door. The creak of my parking brake raised goose bumps all the way up my spine.
I’m here. This is it.
Thankfully there were only a few steps from the driveway to his front porch. Just thinking about him, knowing he was this close, was already giving me a hard-on.
As soon as the door was within reach, I knocked. No hesitation. No last-second pre-regret. I was here and I wasn’t turning back, so why delay it?
He opened the door and all the air around us disappeared. I held what little breath I had left. For all my worry and uncertainty over the last few hours, there was one thing that hadn’t crossed my mind: I’d never seen him like this.
No harsh shadows to hide his features. No anger to darken his eyes and tighten his lips. No black cloud of Jake hanging over us.
In the fading light of day, without the mask of fury, his face was sharply angled in all the right places and smooth in all the others. When one side of his mouth lifted just slightly, the barely there grin emphasized the unmistakable lust in his eyes.
We stood in still, stunned silence for a long moment before something seemed to jar him back to life. He stepped aside, gesturing for me to come in. I walked past him, sucking in a breath when he shut the door behind us.
The grind-click of the deadbolt knocked that breath right back out. The sound wasn’t threatening, not the sound of an implied imprisonment.
It simply made everything about this real.
Inevitable.
Right.
Chapter Ten
Hands on my hips made my spine straighten, and my knees nearly buckled. Following my belt, his hands moved from my hips to my stomach, but I lost track of them when he exhaled softly against the side of my neck. He kissed just above my collar, his lips lingering there long enough for him to draw and release a few more slow, deep breaths, letting each in turn whisper across my skin.
I reached back, combing my fingers through his hair as he kissed his way up my neck. My other hand sought and found his, the warmth of his skin tingling against my fingertips. He pulled me closer to him, his hard cock pressing against me and making the ache below my own belt almost unbearable.
When his lips left my neck and his arms suddenly released me, I exhaled hard as if I’d been holding my breath. Maybe I had been. All I knew or cared about was that he wasn’t touching me anymore. Just before I could panic at the sudden inch of space between us, he put his hands on my shoulders and gently turned me around to face him.
He leaned in as if to kiss me, but paused, just looking at me. At my lips, I think. He touched my face, running his thumb just below my cheekbone. I briefly regretted shaving, wishing I could feel the gentle hiss of skin across stubble, but that thought evaporated-along with my balance-when our eyes met.
Though we’d certainly kissed a few times already, there was something electric about the distance between us now, about the anticipation of this kiss.
When he drew me in, my pulse jumped with each fraction of an inch that disappeared between us, until our lips were almost touching. His thumb moved below my cheekbone again, that gentle contact distracting me for a fleeting second, just long enough so that when he kissed me, he caught me by surprise. The startled shiver that ran down my spine pushed me closer to him, and he welcomed me with a tighter embrace, a deeper kiss.
His mouth was cool with the suggestion of mint, and every breath I took was him: musky, masculine, a vague hint of cologne. His fingers moved from my face into my hair while his other hand followed my spine down to my lower back. Once there, he didn’t pull me closer, didn’t draw me against him. Instead, he held me in place and pressed his hips against mine, letting me feel the heat of his erection even through both of our clothes. I was sure that when skin finally touched skin, we’d burn each other, but I was more than willing to go up in smoke if it meant touching him.
I slid my hands under the back of his shirt, but couldn’t be sure whose gasp broke the kiss. Our mouths separated, but we didn’t. He rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes and taking an uneven breath as my hands moved farther up his back.
“Jesus,” he breathed. His voice, barely more than a whisper, startled me, and it took a moment to realize it was because that was the first thing either of us had said since I’d arrived. Since hours ago, at the theatre. Since I’d spent half the day wondering if this was a bad idea.
I swallowed hard as he kissed my neck. “Are you sure we should be doing this?”
“No,” he whispered against my neck. “In fact, I’m pretty sure we shouldn’t.” His hands slid under my shirt as he raised his head and looked me in the eye. “But I want to.” He kissed me again. Passionately. Breathlessly. Desperately.
I’m supposed to think this is wrong.
His fingers trembled, then tightened in my hair, as if he was afraid I’d pull away.
If this is wrong, I don’t remember why.
His lips barely leaving mine, his voice wavering as if he was on the verge of losing control, he whispered, “I want you so fucking bad, Zach.”
If this is wrong, I don’t care.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said.
In a low, ragged growl, he said, “Thank God.” The pad of his thumb ran along my jaw and his hand rested on the side of my neck. “I don’t even know why I left last time.”
“Because we were there for all the wrong reasons?”
He shrugged, then nodded. “Probably. But that was then. This is now.”
Something in my mind relaxed, as if up until that moment, I wasn’t sure why we were here. If we were here for the same reasons as before, or if this was something else.
“This isn’t about Jake anymore, is it?” I said quietly.
He smiled and kissed me. “Not even a little. The other night had everything to do with that son of a bitch.” He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me lightly. “Tonight has nothing to do with anyone outside this room.” He paused. “And speaking of which, I think we should take this into another room.”