“I’m, um…” I sat back down, leaning casually on one armrest so that he didn’t know I’d taken a seat to keep my knees from collapsing. “I’m fine. Fine. You?”
He shrugged, still smiling as he nudged the door closed with his heel. “Pretty good. I was just, you know, I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I’d stop by.”
“I see,” I said through clenched teeth. And you thought I’d want to see your sorry ass around my theatre? I had to bite my tongue to keep from telling him to get the fuck out of my office. Though the door was closed, the walls were thin. Even though this was someone I “knew”, I had employees around. And customers weren’t too far out of earshot. Damn you, professionalism.
“So,” he said, dropping into the chair across from me without waiting for an invitation. “What have you been doing?”
Oh, wouldn’t you like to know? The grin spread across my face before I could stop it. I can’t tell you off, but that doesn’t mean I can’t fuck with you. “Oh,” I said, not even trying to suppress my amusement. “Not a whole lot.”
He leaned back in the chair and cocked his head, one eyebrow lifting. “Not a whole lot?”
I shook my head, my grin turning to a smirk. “Not a thing.”
He laughed, probably trying to make it sound arrogant, but he had an uneasy look on his face, the look of someone who was fairly certain he’d just become the punch line of a joke everyone knew but him. Clearing his throat, he shifted in his chair. “So, just working, then?”
“Something like that,” I said.
That eyebrow moved just a smidge higher. So did the corners of my mouth. So tell me, Jake, how does it feel to be played for an idiot?
“Are you seeing anyone?” he asked suddenly.
With a cough of laughter, I said, “You cut right to the chase, don’t you?”
He eyed me, then cleared his throat again. “I’m just, you know, curious.”
“What difference does it make if I’m seeing someone?” I asked.
He blinked, as if he didn’t know what to make of my lack of immediate answers to his questions. I sat back in my chair, kicking my feet up onto the desk. The chair creaked and Jake shifted again, obviously uncomfortable, and I had to keep from laughing. There was something deeply satisfying about the way we sat just then-me in the boss’s chair, him in the hot seat-that seemed to emphasize the shift in the balance of power between us. No longer was I under his thumb, being strung along, apologizing for every real and perceived slight. Now he was the one squirming under my cryptic comments and flippant grin.
He rested his chin on his hand, trying and failing to look casual and unconcerned. “I’m just curious,” he said. “I’ve thought about you a lot lately, and just wondered what you’ve been up to.”
“Fair enough,” I said. “You first.”
He blinked again. “What?”
I gestured as if to say go on, spill it. “You first. What have you been doing?”
“Oh,” he said. “Um, well…” He chewed his lip. Something on my desk fascinated him. Held his attention. Gave him a reason not to look directly at me. He may have even been staring at my shoes.
You like those shoes, Jake? You should see how they look on the floor next to Nathan’s. The thought almost made me laugh, but I bit it back.
His hand suddenly hit the armrest, hard enough to make me jump, and he let out a breath. “Look, let’s not play games here,” he said. “I wasn’t just in the neighborhood. I didn’t just come by to make small talk.”
It was my turn to blink in surprise. “Oh, really?”
He nodded and sighed. “I fucked up. Big-time.”
Oh, that’s news. “Okay…”
“Zach, I should have told you about Nathan,” he said, meeting my eyes finally. “I was going to, actually, I-”
“And that would have made a difference, how?” I snorted with laughter. “If I’d heard it from you instead of him that you were cheating on both of us?”
He dropped his gaze. “I’m sorry, I know I fucked up.”
I shrugged. “It’s in the past.”
“I know,” he said. “And it won’t happen again, I swear.”
“No, of course it won’t, since we-” The penny dropped. “You want to get back together, don’t you?”
He nodded, a hopeful, pitiful expression on his face.
Laughter tried to emerge from my throat, but I swallowed it. As much as I didn’t owe him a hell of a lot of consideration for his feelings, laughing in his face at such a vulnerable moment seemed excessively cruel. Oh, so tempting, but cruel.
I sat up, resting my elbows on the desk. “Jake, I…” Not in this lifetime? You’re a douchebag? Here’s a quarter, call someone who cares?
He sat up, too, putting his forearms on the opposite edge of the desk, something like hope glittering in his eyes. I wondered if he’d taken my change of position as something promising, a suggestion that I was actually considering this. When I sat back-keeping my feet down this time-he drew a breath, but his shoulders fell slightly, as if my move deflated some of his hope. With more than a little amusement, I wondered how long I could keep messing with him just by deliberately changing my body language to give him mixed signals.
Again, tempting.
Again, a bit too cruel.
“Look, Jake,” I said. “We’re done. It’s over.”
He leaned forward a little more. “We can try again. Start over. I mean-”
I put a hand up. “No. I’m sorry-” Not really. “But no. It’s over.”
He released a breath, the pain in his eyes almost making me feel guilty. Almost, but not quite. “Zach, please, we could just start fresh. We had something really great going, and I know I fucked it up. I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to lose you.”
“We had something really great,” I said, nodding. “You’re right about that. But…we don’t have it anymore.”
“Doesn’t mean we can’t have it again.”
Christ, do I really have to spell it out for you? “We can’t.” I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. “Especially since I’m seeing someone else now.”
He sat back, parting his lips as if to release a breath, but the air seemed stuck in his throat somewhere. “Oh,” he finally managed. Then he laughed dryly. “You didn’t let the grass grow, did you?”
I scowled. “At least I waited until we were done.”
He flinched and put his hands up defensively. “Right, right, sorry.” He coughed quietly. “I, so, wow…” He shook his head. “You met someone that fast?”
“Yes,” I said. “Funny thing, actually. We ran into each other one night and had a lot in common.” I raised an eyebrow. “A lot in common.”
Furrowing his brow, he cocked his head. “Meaning?”
“Similar taste in men, apparently,” I said, humor creeping back into my voice.
He regarded me silently for a moment, his face the very picture of confusion. “I’m not following, are you-” His eyes widened. “Wait. Are-” He shook his head and laughed. “Jesus, for a minute I was thinking you were going to tell me you’re seeing Nathan.”
“Which I am.” I grinned, watching his laughter stop abruptly.
He coughed again, followed by a short bark of laughter. “Good one,” he said, chuckling. “You almost had me going.”
“No, really.” I shrugged. “I mean, we didn’t start seeing each other right away.” I paused. “Well, okay, we did go out that night, but-”
“Are you fucking serious?” Jake snarled, his face contorting with anger. “You’re seeing him?”
“Yes. I’m seeing Nathan,” I said with another shrug. “Like I said, we had something in common.”
“You son of a bitch,” Jake said, white-knuckling the armrest of the chair. “What the-” He shook his head. “What the fuck? Where do you get off seeing my ex-boyfriend?”