One final mainstay of English-language swearing conspicuously absent from Chinese is “shit.” In a country that until recently was predominantly agricultural (meaning that manure was an important resource), where people talk openly at the dinner table about diarrhea, and where babies toddle about with their naked butts exposed in “split pants” (pants open at the back so that Junior can squat wherever he wants and take an impromptu dump on the street), it just isn’t very dirty to mention excrement or urine.
This is not to imply, however, that shit is entirely neutral in Chinese. Any mention of shit is vulgar, and thus certainly not fit for, say, the classroom or the office; it just isn’t used as an actual swear word like it is in English. You might use it when you’re purposely being gross, such as while joking around with family or good friends. But in those cases talking about shit would be just crude enough to be funny but not outright dirty. And as with any vulgar word, “shit” can also be used in an insulting way. One might say, for example, “That movie sucked so hard it made me want to shit,” or “The team played like shit.” For that reason, this chapter includes a few pejorative words and phrases involving shit, but you’d use them more to be bawdy than to actually swear. In fact, the very idea of using “shit” pejoratively is probably a Western import that was popularized through the subtitling of Western movies in Hong Kong.
The words and phrases in this chapter will give you all the vocabulary necessary to hold your own with even the most salty-tongued of Chinese. Many of these words can be used affectionately with close friends-in the way you might call a buddy “motherfucker” in English-but don’t forget that, no matter how close you think you are to someone, doing so can be hard to pull off when you don’t quite grasp all the nuances of the dialogue. And another note of caution on using strong language in Chinese: if you are a woman, using these words will, in some situations, cause outright shock. Chinese society right now is a bit like America in the fifties-there are certain things a girl just isn’t supposed to do. Feel free to let your verbosity run wild in the appropriate contexts (the proximity of chain-smoking, booze-swilling, young Chinese women should be a helpful clue). And of course there are times when shock might be the exact effect you’re going for (like, say, when some asshole tries to scam you on the street). But for the most part, in the eyes of most Chinese, any word that appears in this chapter is (along with the stronger insults from the previous chapter) something that should never escape a lady’s mouth.
Fuck-related profanity
肏 cào, more commonly written 操 cāo (both pronounced tsow)
Fuck. The character 肏 is visually quite graphic, as it is composed of 入 rù (roo), meaning “enter,” and 肉 ròu (row), meaning “meat.” 肏 is technically the correct character for “fuck,” but because it is not included in most computer or phone-character input systems, and because it’s just so uncomfortably dirty looking, most people write the homophonous 操 (which actually means “hold”). Thus I have written 操 for the rest of the terms in this chapter that use the word. But remember, technically, it should be 肏. (For those of you who pay attention to pinyin tones, I also render the syllable as fourth tone every time even though 操 is first tone, since that’s pretty much how it always comes out sounding. In general, though, with colloquial expressions like these you shouldn’t get too hung up on which tone is technically accurate since it’s not always fixed.)
我操 wŏ cào (wuh tsow)
Fuck! An extremely common exclamation for all occasions-when you’re pissed off, impressed, amazed, or whatever. Literally, “I fuck.” (As a side note, many Chinese are amused when they hear English speakers say “what’s up?” or “wassup?” because it sounds to them like wŏ cào.) When saying “fuck” alone, it’s much more usual to say wŏ cào than to say just 操 cào (tsow); northern Chinese, however, do often use cào alone as an interjection, especially between clauses. For example: “I had a really bad morning, fuck, had a car accident on my way to work.”
操你妈 cào nǐ mā (tsow nee ma)
Fuck you! Literally, “Fuck your mother!” An extremely common obscenity.
操你大爷 cào nǐ dàye (tsow nee dah yeh)
Fuck you! Literally, “Fuck your grandfather!” Northern and southern Chinese use different words for grandparents, so this one is used in northern China only. This is marginally less strong than cào nǐ mā (above) because it’s generally considered more offensive to curse someone’s female relatives than their male relatives. You can insert any relative into this construction; for example northern Chinese might say 操你奶奶 cào nǐ nǎinai (tsow nee nigh nigh): literally, “Fuck your grandmother.” See the entries after 日 rì (page 39) for the southern versions.
操你妈的屄 cào nǐ mā de bī (tsow nee ma duh bee)
Fuck you! Literally, “Fuck your mother’s cunt,” and stronger than the two expressions above since you’re adding another obscene word, bī, or “pussy,” on top of cào.
操屄 càobī (tsow bee)
Fuck. Can be exclaimed alone or used as an intensifier. Literally, “fuck pussy.”
操蛋 càodàn (tsow dahn)
Literally “fuck egg.” (See the previous chapter for why eggs are used in insults.) Can be exclaimed alone, like “Fuck!” or “Oh fuck!” and can also be used as an adjective to mean that someone is bad or inept, as in 你真肏蛋 nǐ zhēn càodàn (nee jen tsow dahn), which means “You’re a real stupid fuck.”
操行 càoxing (tsow sheeng)
A dirty and insulting way to refer to someone’s appearance or behavior. Literally “fucking behavior” or something like “the behavior of a shitty person.” For example, 你看他那操行, 真受不了 nǐ kàn tā nà càoxíng, zhēn shòubùliao (nee kahn tah tsow sheeng, jen show boo liao) means “Look at his shit behavior, it’s totally unacceptable.” The term can also be an adjective meaning “shameful” or “disgusting,” as in 你真操行 nǐ zhēn càoxíng (nee jen tsow sheeng), or “You’re really fucking disgusting.”
操你八辈子祖宗! Cào nǐ bā bèizi zǔzōng! (wuh tsow nee bah bay dz dzoo dzohng)
Fuck eight generations of your ancestors! An extremely strong insult: stronger than cào nǐ mā (above). It’s always specifically eight or eighteen generations that are cursed in this insult. The number eight, 八 bā (bah), is considered lucky in Chinese culture. Thus it is especially significant for misfortune to befall what should be a lucky number of generations.
操你祖宗十八代! Cào nǐ zǔzōng shíbā dài! (tsow nee dzoo dzohng shih bah die)
Fuck eighteen generations of your ancestors! An extremely strong insult. All multiples of nine are significant in Chinese culture because nine, 九 jiǔ (joe), is pronounced the same as the word for “long-lasting,” written 久. Eighteen, 十八 shíbā (shih bah), is itself significant because it sounds like 要发 yào fā (yow fah), which means “one will prosper.”
