He shook his head. “This is a mental world, one that can easily be manipulated. That sort of optimistic thinking will get you killed.” He paused. “Again.”
She crossed her arms and continued to look upward. Polluted or not, she chose to enjoy it. The luxury of choice was just as beautiful as the complexion of the sky at sunset.
13
It didn’t take long for Alex’s dreams to find her that night. Thankfully, they didn’t carry her to the Eskers, but to somewhere she’d never been before. She was trekking through a hot desert, miles and miles of it. Although she was alone, millions of footprints imprinted the sand, choppy like an ocean current. She saw no end in sight, but kept walking, unfazed.
“Now this is what I expected death to be like,” she said aloud.
She felt Chase’s presence, and it began to snow. You’ve been watching too many movies.
“How do you figure?”
Death isn’t so much different from life, is it?
“I guess we wouldn’t know, since we aren’t really dead, or so I hear.”
The scenery shifted. Her toes were still in the sand, but the grains turned cold. She was back at the beach on Parrish Day when the boys played volleyball for hours and she was subjected to the idiocy of the drunken girls. The scene unfolded like a movie. Finally, Chase came to her rescue before the redhead and Posey dragged the blonde from the beach.
Chase once again fell to his knees in front of her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Suddenly he looked much older than thirteen. His hair was a bit longer than it had been a moment ago, and all boyishness had vanished. Although his eyes maintained the same Caribbean blue, the face around them, if possible, had become even more breathtaking, stronger and sharper. “How is everything?” he asked her.
The people around them continued to act as they had that day years ago. The volleyball game commenced without Chase, and the other kids continued to talk and laugh around the bonfire.
“Where are you?” she asked with a slow smile.
“I’m paying penance.”
“For what?”
“No worries.” He shifted to sit beside her in the sand, resting his forearms on his knees. “It was worth it.”
“For me,” she said guiltily.
“And for me.”
Alex wanted to reach out and touch him, but fear stopped her. She worried her hand would go right through him. “Where were you going the night before I arrived here? Why did you get in trouble? Your brothers haven’t exactly been eager to talk to me about you. In fact, no one seems eager to talk to me about anything.”
The flames reflected in Chase’s eyes. “It’s frowned upon to even discuss rule-breaking. Who would’ve thought death would be so strict? What were you doing the night before you arrived here?”
“Dying, actually. Thanks for asking.”
His voice was soft. “And you actually have to ask where I was going?”
“You were coming to me. So it was my fault.”
“No. It was my choice.”
Alex turned her gaze to the water and watched the tide rise. “Are you really here, or are you just in my head?”
“It’s one and the same.”
“What about when I was alive?”
He pointed to the scar on her wrist. “Who do you think told Liv what you were planning to do to yourself?”
“And now? How do I know what’s a dream and what isn’t?”
“Why do they have to be separate?”
“Is this a dream right now?”
“The images are.”
The waves began to white-cap, spilling relief-scented energy onto the beach. Alex took a deep breath to savor it. “You’re real?”
Chase chuckled. “I hope so.”
“Why did you risk leaving the other night if you knew I was dying and you’d see me anyway?”
All humor left him. “No one deserves to die alone, least of all you. All I wanted to do was be there with you. I didn’t want you to be scared.”
“My mind was gone anyway. They saw to that at the Eskers. I barely remember it, honestly.”
“That doesn’t make it better. And I thought maybe if I was there, I could talk to you, since I couldn’t get through in your head. Your body shielded you. Although I could get in and I could hear you, it kept you from hearing me.”
“But I heard you sometimes. Whispers.”
“I could tell. It was only when your mind let down its defenses.” He lifted his hand and allowed grains of cold sand to run through his fingers. She took the opportunity to stare at him.
“How long are you going to be gone?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Why are they keeping you so long?”
“I’m sure you’ve heard by now we aren’t permitted to leave the city.”
“It’s like house arrest.”
“It’s a rule. I broke it. I’m paying the price.”
“So it’s punishment?”
“At first I wondered if they just thought I was the one responsible for the pranks around campus. Like maybe they thought I was masterminding some plot to encourage other newburies to break the rules.”
“But the pranks are still happening,” she pointed out.
“Exactly. Which works out well for me.”
Alex glanced up when a shadow blocked the flames. Kaleb twirled a beach chair above his head. “Who’s ready to catch a ghost?”
She quickly realized he wasn’t talking about her. The crowd had dwindled. The younger children had been sent to bed, and most of the adults had succumbed to their impending hangovers and headed home.
She turned to Chase, disappointed to find him young again. Jonas appeared, sandwiching a marshmallow between two graham crackers. “No one has ever seen the Parrish Cove Ghost. You actually think she’ll make an exception for you?”
“Most girls do.” Kaleb situated the beach chair with his back to the group. He shouted against the noise of the waves. “It’s Parrish Day. No doubt she’ll be out to play.”
It was a lost cause. Locals and tourists alike were always setting up camp on the beach because they wanted to witness the infamous Parrish Cove Ghost. But even if the ghost-watchers avoided sleep the entire night, they would still claim to see no activity on the beach. And it had been a long time since anyone had seen a trail of fresh footprints along the wet sand in the morning.
“I’ll stay out here with you, Kaleb,” Gabe offered.
“Thanks buddy. Jonas, no one wants you out here anyway.”
Jonas swallowed his s’more with a loud gulp. “If you really wanted to go ghost hunting, you wouldn’t sit on the beach all night.”
Kaleb turned in his chair. “Really? What would I do, oh wise one?”
Jonas shrugged. “You’d go to the Parrish woods. Check out the Eskers in all its nighttime glory.”
“The mental institution? You’re off your rocker.” But Kaleb seemed excited despite his scoff. “Hey, Liv,” he shouted through the flames of the bonfire. “You’re a mental case. Would you go into the Eskers woods at night?”
Liv Frank was staring in the direction of the bay, stone-faced. Usually, she'd retaliate with a clever comeback. Alex envied Liv's wittiness even if she knew it only masked Liv's insecurities about her nutty family and her weight. Even in the dead of summer, Liv wore long pants because she hated her legs, yet now she shivered.
“Are you okay?”
Liv seemed surprised to find Alex sitting there. She nodded and murmured something about footprints.
Jonas shook his head. “I’m just saying … ”
Kaleb leapt to his feet. “Let’s go.”
Alex didn’t need to listen. She knew what would happen. Within minutes, they were packed into Kaleb’s Jeep en route to the Eskers. It intrigued Alex to be a participant in the dream, acting exactly like she had years ago, but she went along with it simply because she enjoyed it. And she was hopeful that Chase would reappear, the real Chase, not the one she was wedged next to. She was so close to him she was practically sitting on his lap, and her heart pounded in the dream no differently than it had in real life. It was invigorating to feel a true heartbeat again, not just the memory her mind created.