On the Night of the Seventh Moon

“I realize that I have committed a breach of etiquette and for that I apologize.”

“That is indeed gracious.”

“Had I known what I was expected to witness I should not have come.”

“You were commanded to come.”

“Still I should have declined.”

“Those who serve us do not decline to obey commands.”

“I suppose not, and there is only one thing to do if one finds such commands unacceptable, which is to resign from the service.”

“Is that what you are doing, Miss Trant?”

“If it is your wish that I should do so, I have no alternative.”

“There is an alternative. You could plead to be forgiven. I might say you are a stranger, ignorant of our etiquette. Apologies could be made to the Princess, the Countess and other members of the court. On grounds of ignorance you might be forgiven, providing of course that you promise not to offend again.”

“I could not give such a promise. If I were asked to witness that sickening spectacle once more I should be obliged to refuse.”

“On your own behalf, perhaps. But you carried my sons with you. Do you imagine that I can allow you to inst il into them ideas that are detrimental to their manhood?”

I had visions of his forcing Fritz to witness such scenes, of trying, as he would say, to ‘make a man of him’. No wonder the poor child was nervous; no wonder he walked in his sleep. I was ready to fight for Fritz as I had not been to fight for myself.

I said earnestly: “Fritz is a sensitive boy.”

“Why?” he cried.

“Because he has been brought up by women?”

“Because he has a highly-strung nature.”

“My dear Miss Trant, I have no patience with highly-strung natures. I want to make a man of the boy.”

“Is it manly to gloat over the slaughter of beautiful animals?”

“What strange ideas you have! I think perhaps you might do;| very well in a select academy for young ladies.”

“Perhaps,” I said.

“And you are telling me that I am dismissed? If that is so, I will make my preparations to leave at once.”

He stood up and came to my chair. He sat on the table very close to me.

“You are of a hasty nature. Miss Trant. I do not think impetuous people make good teachers.”

“Very well. I will go.”

“But / have no personal objection to that characteristic.”

“I am glad I do not displease you in all respects.”

“It is not you who displease me. Miss Trant. It is your action yesterday.”

I half rose. His great virility alarmed me at such close quarters. He was so like Maximilian and yet there was the subtle difference. Had I been with him that night in the hunting lodge I would never have been allowed to remain alone on the other side of that locked door. That was something I knew instinctively.

“I see that I have offended you,” I said quickly.

“There is no need to continue this interview. I will go.”

“You make a custom of taking your leave unexpectedly. It is my custom to give permission for those whom I employ to come or go.”

“I presume I am no longer in your employ so that does not apply to me.”

I turned away but he was beside me. I could feel his warm breath on my neck. He caught my forearm in a tight grip.

“You will stay,” he said. Then he smiled, his eyes slightly veiled as they swept over me.

“I have decided that you shall have another chance,” he went on.

I faced him boldly.

“I warn you that in similar circumstances I should act in the same way.”

We’ll see,” he said.

I took his hand from my arm and dropped it hastily; he was so surprised that he made no effort to check me.

I said: “Whenever you wish me to leave your employ, please say so.”

And with that I walked out of the Rittersaal. I crossed the courtyard and entered the fortress. I was trembling but I felt elated as though I had won a battle, which perhaps in a way I bad, because at least I was still employed at Klocksburg.

I sat by my window letting the air cool my cheeks. The encounter had shaken me because the bold message in the Count’s eyes had told me he had marked me down for a victim. I was experienced enough to recognize his intentions. I was surprised. I had ceased to think of myself as an attractive woman. I knew I had been in my teens, with my somewhat inconsequential high spirits, my masses of dark hair and perhaps most of all my vivacious expression. But when I had believed myself to be married and had borne a child (at least I could be sure of that) and lost it, I had changed. I knew the change was remarkable because Mrs. Greville and Aunt Matilda often said to me: “I’ve never seen anyone change as you did when you came back from that long stay abroad.”

My gaiety had been overshadowed; the tremendous doubt was there. I had loved and lost my husband and my child; and who could be the same after such an experience?

Anthony, it was true, had asked me to marry him. I realized I had scarcely thought of him since I had left England. He had written twice-letters full of details about the parish and his work. I should have been interested a short while ago, but I had found my attention wandering even while I had been reading them.

Ever since I had come to Klocksburg I had felt an excitement that I had not known since I had awakened in my bed to be told that my marriage had been a dream, the result of Dr. Carlsberg’s treatment.

There was a firm belief within me that if ever I was to find the solution to my mystery I should find it here. For a second when I had seen the Count I had believed I had found it. But that was a delusion; and now this very count was becoming an obstacle in my way.

I could guess what would happen. I was woman of the world enough to grasp the type of man he was; and because he was powerful in his little world he would have encountered little opposition and at first he would be attracted by it, but only for a while. It would soon begin to pall. Perhaps I should begin making enquiries at the Damenstift.

As I brooded I heard voices below, for one could hear very distinctly in that clear mountain air.

“Now, Master Fredy, you’ll behave yourself. I’ll not allow any of your games. ” That was Frau Graben, the lilt of laughter in her voice; I could imagine the fat comfortable smile.

“What was the meaning of this, eh, old woman? Why did you bring her here?” The Count! The arrogant powerful man allowing Frau Graben to address him in that way. But of course the old nurse had special privileges.

“It was about time those bastards of yours were given a bit of education.”

“They had it. We didn’`t need an English prude to give them that.”

“Not so prudish. Master Fredy. I’ll promise you.”

“And who are you to make promises to me?”

“You remember your manners, Master Fredy. I was always telling you.”

“Good God, woman, I’m not in the nursery now.”

“You’ll always be in the nursery as far as I’m concerned and that goes for your high and mighty cousin too.”

“He was always your favourite.”

“You get along with you. I had no favourites. You were both my boys and I wouldn’`t let you give me your sauce then and I won’t now.”

“I should have had you turned out of Klocksburg long ago.”

“Then who’ll look after your bastards?”

“Why, you old witch, there are hundreds who’d like the opportunity.”

“But you trust your old Nana, eh?”

“No farther than the end of the Randhausburg.”

“Listen to me. Master Fredy, you turn your gaze away from Miss Trant.”

“You brought her here.”