Walanda was a fuck-up, there’s no doubt about that, but she tried. It wasn’t long ago that she told me about her plans to go get training to become a certified nurse’s aid. That may not sound like a whole lot, but in Walanda’s world of multigenerational welfare and crime, it was huge. Sure, she was an addict, she was a prostitute, but she also cared about her kids, including this stepkid I never even heard of. For all her faults, Walanda never quit trying and though it wasn’t obvious to many people, I knew she was doing what she could to be better. When you come down to it, that’s about all you could ever ask of anyone.
I got to the Moody Blue and prepped myself for Al’s assault. Sure enough, as soon as I put the key in the lock I heard his paws hit the floor, move across the carpet, scratch across the tile, and then bounce off the inside of the door. I opened the door and he sprung up, again hitting me in the nuts, but at least this time I was prepared. Besides, Al, low-riding pain in the ass that he was, deserved a little slack today. I don’t know shit about animal psychology and my Muslim brother didn’t seem to be all that emotionally complex, but the guy did just lose his mom.
I cracked open a Schlitz and sat down on the good side of the sofa. Apparently, Al had a busy and productive day, because the remainder of the foam rubber that he started on yesterday was chewed up and spit out on the floor in front of the couch. I didn’t have the energy to get furious right now. I slumped into the couch, threw on the TV, and took another pull off the Schlitz. The local news was on, but they wouldn’t be reporting on a jail incident because the jail was pretty good at keeping stuff like that out of the media and even if it did get out, the press had a tendency not to care when people like Walanda got killed. Just another dead crack ho.
The thought of not taking Walanda’s phone call ate at me. When the fourth Schlitz gave way to the fifth, sixth, seventh, and, I think, eighth, it didn’t get any better. I was drunk, but the beer didn’t touch the feeling in my gut. I knew it wouldn’t, but I didn’t know what else to do.
Kelley told me it looked like it was just a battle over jailhouse dominance. Someone, or a couple of someones, caved in the side of her head with a mop wringer. She was found outside the chapel by one of the corrections officers and, to no one’s surprise, no inmate saw anything or knew anything. Kelley said that one of the COs told him that it might’ve been over cigarettes-either Walanda stole somebody’s or somebody stole hers. It’s the sort of thing that happens inside jails and prisons and I believe it happens so much because wherever people are, they have to struggle over power. More cigarettes means more power, just like more money means more power, or more stock shares means more power.
Just the same, the fact that she had called me, scared for her life, didn’t sit right with me. Still, it wouldn’t be much of a reach to figure the two events were mutually exclusive. After all, it’s not uncommon to feel in danger in jail, especially when you’re schizophrenic and addicted to crack. It’s also not terribly unusual to be assaulted in jail. The two could’ve just happened. All her yelling and carrying on about “Webster” made no sense.
There wouldn’t be much of an investigation. Walanda had no family around, she was a crack ho who didn’t vote, and she was a criminal. The DA wouldn’t exactly be overwhelmed with pressure to solve this one. That wasn’t right and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. Right now, I was getting bombed, so there wasn’t a whole lot I could do about anything. Going to bed made the most sense to me.
The next morning came a whole lot sooner than I expected. Having gotten Schlitzed the night before, I didn’t anticipate rising and shining. I also didn’t anticipate my Muslim brother, Allah-King, barking incessantly at the foot of my bed at 5:04 a.m. For reasons probably only revealed to Muhammad, the short-legged pain in the ass wouldn’t shut up. I yelled at him, I threw pillows at him, I tried to throw the contents of the half-empty Schlitz on the nightstand at him-none of it mattered. He was a barking machine.
I sat up in bed and got one of those waves of wishy-washiness that comes with an overindulgence in that product that made Milwaukee famous. Trying to think of anything to stop the racket, I stepped out of bed to get the long-eared beast some food so he’d shut up. I was slightly dizzy when I got out of bed and when I stepped toward Al, my bare foot splatted into something slippery, sending my vastly hungover body to the hard tile. I had a good idea of what it was without looking, but, like a bad car wreck, I couldn’t not look. Sure as shit, it was between my toes and because of the fall, all over my foot.
All through this, Al never stopped with the racket, though I swear to God, I thought I heard him laughing through the barking. I hopped to the bathroom to stick my shit-foot under the showerhead, and for some reason the sight of me hopping threatened Al. He growled and jumped at me, again striking me in the nuts and sending me sprawling, shit-foot and all, into the bathroom wall. I now had a streak of dog shit throughout my house, poo between the toes, and a bump on my hungover head from the second of two falls in the last forty-five seconds. This is not what I consider nursing a hangover.
I cleaned my foot, mopped the floor, fed the beast, and took a shower. I couldn’t bear the thought of going to the office, but I had to. The Michelin Woman was gunning for me and any unexplained absences would surely do me in. Walanda’s death would be a big administrative deal not because ol’ yellow teeth cared about Walanda’s loss of life, but because she would have to oversee the filling out of forms that would have to be filed with the state. On top of that, an incident such as this would undoubtedly mean an emergency meeting of the board.
The board was comprised of the biggest group of phonies and opportunists I’d ever met. They got on the board because it was politically correct for them. For some, it meant a tax deduction, for others, help with the Jewish vote, and for others, business connections with other board members. They’d come in their suits and ties and say a bunch of crap like they gave a shit about the people we served and then leave in their BMWs and go about their business.
The one exception was Hymie Zuckerman. Hymie was the eighty-seven-year-old benefactor who put up the original money for the agency. He was an old Brooklyn Jew who made his fortune in the dry cleaning business. It seemed to me he cared about helping people and giving back and didn’t care about kissing ass and political opportunity. He had enough money to air condition hell and he knew it, and he also knew that was the reason these other business people joined the board. Being friends with Hymie meant instant business connections and that’s why they were sucking up to him. He didn’t care about people manipulating him if it helped the agency and therefore, in his mind, helped the greater good.
I also liked Hymie because he liked me. He was a fight fan, knew the game inside and out, and loved to talk about it. A lot of people don’t know that Jews, along with the Irish, dominated boxing in the twenties. Throughout its history, boxing has been dominated by whatever minority was experiencing the most oppression or prejudice at the time. It probably has to do with being hungry, tough, and angry. When a minority group rises in the social order, they usually drop out of boxing dominance. It helps explain why there aren’t a hell of a lot of WASPs with fine pedigrees in the game, which is another reason I like boxing. As far as I am concerned, golf and WASPs deserve each other.
As a fighter and a student of boxing history, I’d kibbutz with Hymie about the fighters of his era, especially the greatest Jewish fighter of all time, Benny Leonard, a lightweight who remains one of the best pound-for-pound fighters ever.