Her shield of webbing shifted into a long blade. “So rude. You invade my lair, tear down my webs, fight my children…”
“…Cut you in half…” I continued, taking a gamble and jumping forward.
The room had a high ceiling. High enough, I guessed, that I could use the ring of jumping safely. So I did.
The sudden surge of transference mana sent me fifteen feet in the air, and I flew over the spider woman with my sword raised to strike as soon as I landed.
She spun, hurling a glob of webbing at me. I slashed that apart on instinct, and the force sent the halves apart, but some of it still brushed against me and stuck to my arms.
Disgusting, but fortunately, not enough to stop me.
I landed and swung again, this time directly at the spider monster.
She reshaped the webbing around her into a sword, blocking my own.
The transference mana around my blade began to cut through her webbing, but slowly.
And it had gotten stuck.
“You should really stop struggling. We could have such a good time together if you’d just listen to me.”
“Shut it, spider hag.” Marissa threw something — which I belatedly realized was the glowing green crystal I’d seen earlier — and it thumped into the spider woman’s forehead.
She recoiled at the impact, and a trickle of blood dripped from where it had struck. She wasn’t particularly resilient, at least.
“Ow!” The woman rubbed her face. “That really hurt!”
“No seducing my friend!” Mara absently punched another spider in the face, then side-stepped a jet of webbing that one of the others fired at her from its spinneret.
“I’m just trying to have a polite conversation!” The spider woman spat a glob of acid in Marissa’s direction. Marissa dodged, but stepped into a glob of webbing on the floor nearby, getting her foot stuck.
I jabbed my sword at the spider woman while she was distracted, but she managed to avoid the swing by stepping to the side. “What sort of conversation?”
The spider woman shook her head. “Well, for one thing, I was wondering if you’d be opposed to me eating you. I mean, it’s really hard to get quality food down here, and people are just the best. Don’t you think?”
“Eew!” Marissa started pulling at her stuck leg, then punched another spider that tried to bite her. “We are not letting you eat us!”
The spider woman reeled back like she was about to spit again. My sword was still stuck in her webbing, so I stepped in and punched her.
“Ow! So rude!” She pulled back, ripping my sword free from the webbing in the process. “Okay, fine, then! You could at least bring me a light snack. Maybe some kobolds?”
Kobolds?
Were those the source of the lighting upstairs?
“We are not feeding you people!” Marissa managed to tear herself free, but a spider slammed into her from behind, knocking her over.
It raised its head, ready to bite.
I spun and threw my sword directly through the creature’s open mouth.
The spider fell limp.
“Rude!” The spider woman complained. “That was one of my favorite kids!” She frowned. “I think. They’re so stupid. And so hard to tell apart.”
She turned toward me and reshaped the webbing around her into a net. “If you won’t bring me any kobolds, I’m just going to have to eat you whether you like it or not.”
I raised both hands. I was unarmed now, and I didn’t like my odds of fighting her in close quarters without a weapon.
And she was really chatty. Maybe I could play with that.
“I’m not going to bring you any sentient creatures to eat. And you can’t eat us. But I do, have, uh…” I reached into my bag. “Some beef jerky?”
She narrowed her eyes. “What is this…‘beef jerky’?”
I blinked. I hadn’t expected that to go anywhere.
Marissa pulled my sword out of the head of the spider I’d killed, making a sickening crunching sound. “She’s just distracting you so she can web you and eat you, Corin.”
It was probable that Marissa was right, but I also wasn’t in a good fighting position. Buying time was an advantage for the moment, not a disadvantage.
I wasn’t feeling any sort of weird magical attraction to this creature, and it did just seem to be asking for food.
I pulled some beef jerky out of my bag. “Preserved cow meat with a variety of spices. It’s a little tough, but the spice gives it a lot of flavor.
The spider woman sniffed the air. “It’s meat, though?”
I nodded. “Yeah. It’s a little tough, because of how it’s been dried, but…”
“Give it here.”
I handed the beef jerky over to her, and she immediately tore off a piece and began to chew.
Her mouth twisted, her eyes narrowed, and then…
“This is delicious.”
She kept eating. “Do you have any more?”
“A little bit. If you’ll call off your other spiders and agree to give us safe passage, I’ll give it to you.” I opened my hand in a giving gesture.
The spider woman seemed to consider that.
Then, she swallowed, and let out a screeching cry into the air.
The remaining spiders retreated back to the ceiling.
Marissa blinked. Then she raised her sword and took a step forward.
“Not a step closer, sword girl. Meat man, give me more food.”
I reached into my bag, pulling out another piece of jerky. The spider woman reached for it, but I pulled my hand away. “Agree to give us safe passage.”
She frowned. “But I don’t want to.”
Are you kidding me?
“Look, this is a good deal for you. Us humans are bland and not seasoned at all. This beef jerky is much tastier.”
The spider woman folded her arms. “I don’t know… You’re probably right, but you have a lot of meat on you. It’s really a quality versus quantity argument.”
I waved the beef jerky at her. “There’s also the chance that we’d kill you if we keep fighting.”
“Nah.” She shook her head. “Not with all the webs you’re stuck in.”
I blinked, looking around. There were strands of webbing stuck to the back of my legs and my shirt.
When did that happen?
I tensed, but I could still make this work.
“I’ll destroy the jerky with my magic if you attack us.” It was a complete bluff. I didn’t have fire magic or anything similarly destructive.
But I doubted she knew that.
“No!” She reached forward, but I moved my hand again. “Okay, fine, fine. You can go. Just give me that food.”
“I’m going to have my friend cut me free first, then I’m going to give you the jerky.”
“Fine, fine. Ugh. You humans are so hard to deal with.”
Marissa moved forward, cut me free, and handed the sword back to me. I held it in my off-hand while I cautiously offered the remaining jerky to the spider.
She snatched it out of my hand with great fervor, then put it straight in her mouth.
She closed her eyes, obviously savoring the flavor.
That helped me realize something important. “You’re…not an illusion, are you?”
She opened her eyes again, beginning to chew. “Oh, no, little human. I’m quite real.”
I’d interacted with plenty of convincing solid illusions during the other tests, and I knew they could talk, but this spider woman was so animated and eccentric that she reminded me of Vanniv.