She sighed and stared out the window.
Matt seemed lost in thought, too, staring ahead as he drove. The silence felt thick, but she didn’t know if it was from sexual tension or mutual weariness, or both. She wasn’t sure what Matt was feeling. When he’d said he’d had enough in the boutique, she’d thought it was because of all the touching they’d done, the close looks, the intimacy of seeing him nearly nude again. But maybe he’d just been sick of changing clothes. Worse, she didn’t know which she wanted it to be.
At least the scenery was distracting. The ocean gleamed in the gathering sunset. It would be nice to watch the waves as they ate. She should appreciate whatever beach time she could net from this complicated vacation.
At the deli, while Matt picked out a bottle of wine, she visited with the clerk about the sandwich selections, finally settling on Black Forest ham with Dofino cheese on herbed focaccia fresh from the oven. The clerk seemed flattered by all her questions and offered the special honey-horseradish mustard sauce the employees usually kept for themselves, which she thought was sweet of him.
When Matt got out his wallet to pay, a couple of business cards fell to the floor. Candy picked them up. “Did you score these from the mall?”
“Yeah. I only got six though.” He shrugged.
“That’s excellent. Really.”
“What about you?”
“I got twelve, but I got lucky. I ran into a bunch of sales guys at the juice bar. They live to hand out cards.”
“Candy, if they’d been monks sworn to silence, you’d have them reciting poetry to you. Writing it on the spot.”
She smiled, warmed by his compliment. “Anyway, with my handicap, that puts us neck-and-neck.”
“Speaking of neck…” He brushed hers with his fingertips. “It’s showing.” He meant the love bite he’d given her.
She shivered, thinking of how she’d gotten it, and put her finger there. It felt warm to the touch. “I’ll use more makeup next time.”
“Don’t. I like seeing it. It reminds me…”
“Me, too,” she said, her heart lifting at his words. Which was not helpful at all. It would be so much better if he showed more regret. If they both did. If they could forget it altogether. Paying up, they then drove to the beach house.
Before long, they found a great spot from which to watch the receding tide and settled on a rock outcropping to unpack their meal and pour wine into plastic goblets.
The lowering sun was painting the sky orange and pink, the ocean silver and bronze. A handful of surfers skimmed the sunset waves. It was a gift to be here, to enjoy this easy beauty. Candy breathed deeply of the sea air, letting it dissolve her tension, her aching desire for Matt.
“Isn’t this a miracle?” she said. “Being here?”
“It is,” he said, smiling warmly.
He made her feel…watched over. Protected. She’d never felt this way with a guy. Because she’d never settled on one? Or had she never chosen guys who gave off this vibe? She realized she liked it-this sense of connection, the security of being a couple.
It was completely false, though, to feel this way, however fleetingly, with Matt. They were actors in front of a blue screen on which exotic scenery had been projected. She was here because of work-they both were. This wasn’t a romance and she didn’t dare forget it.
She took a bite of her sandwich to distract herself. “Mmm, good sandwiches, huh?” She loved the combination of herb-infused bread, smoky sweet ham and creamy cheese. The dressing brought it all together with a little zing.
“Great choice, Candy. I would have just said two Number Ones and been content. You had the guy dragging out the best ham and the secret sauce.”
“The sauce is great, huh? It blends the flavors and adds a surprise.” Exactly how their sex had been-a blending and a surprise. Stop that.
She forced herself to make a point. “This is a good lesson, really. People love to share what they know, what they have-their secret sauce, really-if you show you’re interested.”
“Yeah, but you have a gift, Candy.”
“What about you? You got six cards in a half hour.”
“The sixth was a cheat. I asked a guy for directions to the salon and his cards were on a display rack at his elbow.”
Candy laughed. “But you asked for directions! That’s so brave. Men never ask for directions.”
“Good point. Maybe this makeover is turning me into a girlie man.” His eyes danced with mischief.
“No chance of that,” she said softly, then quickly changed the subject. “So what worked with the business cards?”
“What you said about listening more than talking, I guess. I didn’t feel like I had to entertain anyone. I met a couple of interesting people-one guy owns a worm farm and another builds bomb-safe doors for nuclear plants.”
“How fascinating.”
“Neither one needed software, so I don’t know that I accomplished anything.”
“So what? Side trips are the best part of life.”
“Spoken like a person willing to blow an important meeting to chase a dog.”
“I explained what happened, Matt,” she said, stung by the zinger, just as she’d been when he’d called her an expert with hangovers and wild bar parties. Matt still didn’t respect her enough. “It was a unique circumstance and-”
“Hey, that was a joke. I’m just getting the hang of Fun Guy and you’re turning into Serious Girl on me?” He touched her cheek, coaxing her into a smile.
“Sorry. I’m…I guess I’m tired.” She knew she couldn’t demand Matt’s respect; she had to earn it, but she still felt discouraged.
“Tell you what,” Matt said, “here’s what I want if I win our competition-come with me to the conference. Be my secret networking weapon. How’s that?”
He was appeasing her, she knew, easing her hurt feelings, but she decided to make the most of it. “I’d be happy to go, whether you win or not. For you and SyncUp, I’m there.” She ticked her plastic wine glass against his, then lifted it for a drink.
“Deal,” he said.
“Great choice in wine, by the way.”
“It was the best value at that price point.”
“God, Matt. Couldn’t you pretend you chose it for its smoky blackberry nose and clean finish?”
“Sorry.” He winced in pretend regret.
“Have you always been that way? Cut to the chase, travel in straight lines, no chitchat, get the best value?”
“I guess so. Maybe it was because my mom depended on me after our dad left.”
“That makes sense. Ellie told me a little about what happened.” Ellie and Matt’s mother came to L.A. to become an actress, but never quite made it. Flamboyant and emotionally fragile, she was wrecked when her husband left her.
“Ellie was young-six? How old were you?”
“Ten,” Matt said.
“That must have been hard.”
“Not so bad really. You do what you have to do when you’re in the middle of things. Looking back, it seems sad, but at the time I liked the responsibility. I was proud my family could count on me. I liked being dependable. Then and now.”
“But what about what you want? What feeds your soul?”
“Excuse me?” He shot her a questioning look. “You going woo-woo on me here?”
“It’s an important question-whether you do what you do out of obligation or joy-don’t you think?”
“You’ve had too much of this.” He pretended to take her wine away. “Why can’t it be both? I get satisfaction from my work. And I’m glad people count on me. It’s who I am.”
“Sure, but if your family situation had been different? If you hadn’t been forced to grow up so fast, maybe you wouldn’t have ended up so serious and focused.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” He smiled. “To you it is, I guess. I take it you had a carefree childhood?”
“Oh, yeah,” she said. “I’m the youngest and I have two older brothers. Robert, the younger, is ten years older than me and Philip, twelve.”