Her plan in place, Candy found the program interminable. There seemed to be an honoree at every table. By the time the stack of plaques was down to a few, she’d eaten two untouched desserts and had three decaf refills.
Jane was as classy in her acceptance remarks as she’d seemed when Candy met her. Candy kept her eyes trained away from where Matt sat-no doubt watching Jane-afraid if she caught his adoring expression, she’d burst into jealous tears.
Eventually the last polite applause filled the room. Finally released, Candy barreled for the doors instead of pausing to reinforce her rapport with potential clients as she would normally do in networking mode. She’d grabbed plenty of cards before disaster struck. She managed to catch Matt’s eye and pointed toward the parking lot, so he’d meet her at the car.
Grateful to be outside, she sucked in smoggy air and fought the tumult inside. Get a grip. He was never yours. They’d had an affair. Don’t cling. Let go. She only wished she’d known their final lovemaking had been the last, so she could have memorized every touch. It was like wolfing down the last Cheeto before you realized the bag was empty. You wanted to savor the final lovely morsel.
The good news, though, was that she was anxious to get back to work. She’d learned that much about herself. She could work when it mattered. She was not just a party girl.
She watched Matt wend his way to their car, his expression anxious. When he reached her, he asked, “Are you ill? I saw you run out.”
“Just anxious to go,” she said with a fake smile, ducking into the car to avoid him.
Matt sat in the driver’s seat. “There was room at the table,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean for you to leave.”
“It was much better, Matt, and you know it. Jane liked the new you, which is great. Isn’t it?” He seemed too quiet.
“Nothing changed between Jane and me,” he said after a pause. He sounded weary and troubled. Maybe out of guilt?
“Give it time,” she said, glancing at him. “You got a start at it. I probably cramped your style.”
“It’s not like that, Candy. It won’t ever be.” He hesitated, as though he had something more to say, then looked out the windshield.
“Let’s head back,” she said, nodding forward. “I want to finish my marketing plan so I can show it to you.”
She felt him staring at her. “We need to talk.”
“There’s nothing to say, Matt. I get it.”
“No, you don’t. That’s the point. We-”
“Let’s just go!” she said with clenched teeth, wringing the burgundy napkin that in her haste she’d taken with her. She’d twisted it so tightly it hurt her fingers. Unshed tears made her nose burn.
“We need to talk about us, about what we’re going to do.”
His cell phone rang, interrupting him. He fumbled for it, reading the display. “Scott,” he muttered.
“Take it,” she said, grateful for the reprieve.
“Hi, Scott. What’s up?” Matt said tightly. “Yeah? Where are we on the reorg? Uh…” He paused, glanced at her, then out the side window. He couldn’t talk to Scott freely with her in the car. “Not too far.” He cleared his throat. “I’m on vacation, remember? Use it or lose it?” he said in a falsely hearty voice. He paused, listening, then spoke again, his tone serious.
“I’ll get on that…um, plan…when I get back… Sunday? Not Sunday. Sunday’s a day of rest.” He laughed. “Be careful what you wish for, Scott. I’m addressing my PQ2 weaknesses, which means I’m taking it easier. I won’t be in the office 24-7 anymore.”
He winked at Candy, telling her he’d learned from her. “Unintended consequences, I guess.” He looked at her again, his expression full of gratitude and affection. Then she saw an idea dawn on him. He held up a finger to her.
“Scott, one thing. What do you think about a consumer version of Ledger Lite? We’d market it to our Paycheck Plus customers?” He listened, then turned to nod at her, indicating Scott’s interest.
“It’s Candy Calder’s idea,” he said quickly. “I was talking to her and-” He stopped cold. “Uh-before I left. We ran into each other…” He swallowed hard, panicked and jerked his gaze out front again. It must have dawned on him he didn’t dare let Scott know they were together on vacation.
“So, she’s, uh, putting together a plan… Sure, sure…I’ll tell her-when I get back, of course. At the next meeting.” His face was bright red and he sounded guilty as hell.
Matt put away his phone and rubbed the back of his neck. “That was weird. I almost blew it. Sorry I lied.”
“You had to, Matt. If Scott knew we were together, it would be utterly weird.” And there was no way Matt could comfortably keep the secret back at SyncUp. If he gave her the promotion, everyone would think she slept her way there. “I appreciate you talking up my idea to Scott. It means a lot.” Again, her throat closed.
“It’s the least I could do. After all you’ve done for me.” He stopped. “You know I mean the lessons, not the…not us together. And I would have told him anyway. It’s a great idea.”
“I know that,” she said softly, realizing how the sex had muddied everything between them. Matt was having trouble figuring out his own motivations. “I was glad to hear you say you wouldn’t be working so hard from now on.”
“You helped me figure that out,” he said, turning to her. “There’s something else I need to say. And it’s not about work. Being with you has meant so much to me. You mean so much to me.”
“You mean a lot to me, too, Matt. But that’s beside the point. You have Jane. We have work.”
“Jane and I are done, Candy. Period.”
“We had a deal. We have to stick with it.”
“We need to talk about us.”
“There is no us, Matt!” She didn’t mean to raise her voice, but he’d just thrown away her garlic-Jane-and her heart was racing with pointless hope. “You could hardly manage a lie to Scott about me. We have to quit while we’re ahead.”
He studied her. “Is that what you want?”
“It’s what we both want.” When she tried to smile, her lips trembled like a muscle held too long.
They sat in silence for a few beats, both staring out the windshield. “Okay. If that’s it, then,” Matt said finally, starting the car with tense, almost-angry movements.
After they’d driven for a while in awkward silence, she thought of something to get them on track. “So how many cards did you get, by the way?” she asked softly.
“I don’t know. You count.” He fished out his wallet and handed it to her.
She counted them. “Twelve! That’s excellent.” It was so hard to sound cheerful when she was so miserable. “I got twenty, so, at two-to-one, you beat me by four cards. Congratulations. You won.” Her smile felt glued onto her cardboard face. “So you can ask me any question you like. That’s your prize.”
“I don’t know, Candy,” he said, sounding discouraged.
“Think about it. Drop me off at my place, I’ll grab the computer and meet you at yours to show you my marketing plan. You can ask me the question when I get there.”
They didn’t talk the rest of the way and she was glad. She ached as if she’d been everyone’s target in a dodgeball game where they used rocks instead of balls.
She would push past this, though. She had to. This was what she’d worked for. She couldn’t give up when she was so close.
UNLOCKING HIS BEACH house, Matt caught his reflection in the glass of the storm door. He hardly recognized the GQ guy staring back at him with the fancy haircut and pricey shades. Fun Guy. Who’d just been shot down by the woman he loved.
She was right. Being together at SyncUp would be difficult, to say the least. She wanted it to be over. She was sticking with their deal. Maybe that’s what he should do.
Accept her decision, let it go. He loved her, but he’d get over it. Maybe she loved him, too, but not enough to try to work it out. Should he push her? Why? Why make her spell out all the reasons why he was wrong for her? All that BS about oil and water and oranges? Why put himself through that misery?