“That is something she’ll have to tell you herself. I know you’re angry, Evan. We all are, she lied to everyone. But she needs you now. When I left the hospital they were transferring her to the ICU. She has pneumonia again, and is having trouble breathing.” Ellie ran her fingers through her short hair while her eyes filled with tears. “It’s so sad, Evan. She’s so weak. Before I came here she was crying for you in her sleep.”
I slammed the roof of my truck. Between the rage, the frustration, and the maddening helplessness, I was ready to blow.
“She never had to cry for me! I never would have left her side if I’d known. She’s all I want, all I’ve ever wanted! Fuck!”
I lowered my head as I contemplated what I should do. I spent all day angry as hell that she lied to me, but now I was terrified. As mad as I still was, Paige was my heart and soul; she always would be.
I’d had enough. It was time to get my girl back.
“Can you drive me to the hospital? I’m a little shaken. I’m afraid I’ll do ninety to get there.” The side of Ellie’s mouth turned up in a small smile as she nodded and motioned with her hand to follow her. We jogged over to her car in silence and quickly got in.
“What did she say, Ellie?” I asked as I gazed out the side window. Looking ahead at the snarl of traffic would only make my leg bob even more. I needed to get to Paige.
“When?”
“When she cried for me. What did she say?” Ellie gave me a teary smile.
“She asked you to sing to her.” Ellie bit her lip and swallowed as she turned back at the road.
I shut my eyes tight and tried to hold it together. She had to come back to me. There was no other option.
“Evan, thank God!” Tess ran up to me as Ellie and I got off the hospital elevator and buried her head in my chest. She looked up at me with glossy and tired eyes. “Did Ellie tell you everything?”
I nodded as we made our way over to the chairs in the ICU waiting room.“How is she?”
Tess looked down and shook her head.
“I keep asking. Last time was right before Ellie left to get you. They were waiting for the specialist, Dr. Stephens. We haven’t seen her in hours.” I hated seeing Tess like this. Jack used to call her General Tess to tease her, but now she was a broken mess.
“Hi, son. Glad you’re here.” John wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “She needs you.”
John was the only one in the room who didn’t look like they were about to fall apart. But, both his brother and his son died young. I supposed that desensitized a person to looming tragedy, even if it was his favorite and only niece.
“I need her, too.”
“Hi, I’m Dr. Stephens. I assume you’re all Paige’s family.” We all turned our heads at once. Dr. Stephens looked young, not much older than Paige or me. She gave us all a tight smile.
“Paige is settled into a bed and is still in and out of sleep. Her breathing is still quite labored and her fever is high. She’s still in a bad flare, and her immune system is very weak and open to other infections. She already has pneumonia. I’d like to do a lumbar puncture to rule out a brain infection. I won’t lie to you, her condition is critical but the ICU will give her very good care. She’s awake now if you’d like to see her. We’ll do the lumbar puncture in about twenty minutes.”
“Where’s her room?” Dr. Stephens grimaced at me.
“ICU is immediate family only.”
“He can see her. He’s family.” Tess gazed at me and nodded.
“ICU is through the automatic doors down the hall—” I was halfway there before she could finish the sentence.
I understood for the first time how my dad felt after mom died. Empty and broken, as though something hacked your soul to pieces and left you with nothing. But Paige was still here. I needed to show her I wasn’t going anywhere. That I would gladly go to hell and back for her, with her because she was it for me. My life. My soul. My Daisy. The one who made everything beautiful.
I ran up to the nurses’ station and tried to catch my breath.
“Paige Taylor. Where is her room?”
“Sir, are you family?”
“I need to see her, please.” The nurse pursed her lips at me and shook her head.
“I’m sorry, sir. Immediate family only. This is the ICU.”
I glimpsed the dry erase board next to her desk that listed room assignments. Paige’s room was right next to the nurses’ station. I rushed towards her half open door when a male nurse pulled me back by the arm.
“I’m not leaving.” I saw Paige over the nurse’s shoulder. She was lying with her hands on her face. “Paige? Daisy, it’s me!”
He rolled his eyes and looked around. “Sir, please. She’s a very sick girl.” He lowered his voice and nodded towards her room. “Just make it quick.”
I barreled through the door as Paige’s gaze met mine. Her face was wet, and her breathing was labored. Leaning on her elbows, she struggled to sit up. Seeing her this sick gutted me so badly my chest ached. Paige’s beautiful body was turning on itself and killing her little by little.
I stormed to her hospital bed, my fists balled to hide the fact my hands were shaking. My entire body trembled like a damn leaf. Every emotion crashed down on me at once.
I took her face in my hands “I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. Now, you’re going to tell me what’s going on. And why you lied to me.”
Paige lay back against the pillow and gazed at me with her eyes half shut.
“Daisy, I’m asking you to tell me the truth. From the beginning. Why did you push me away?” I pulled the chair next to her bed closer and took a seat.
“Because you deserve better than what I can give you. Don’t feel guilty, I want you to have a good life. Find someone who can give you all the things I can’t.”
“The only thing I want in life is you. No one else can give me that.” I smoothed the matted hair away from her forehead and kissed her temple.
“You told me you wanted a ton of kids.” Paige gasped to catch her breath. “If my kidneys don’t get better, they could fail. And I may not be able to have children. I saw you with Lucas’s kids, and how great you are with Jack. You should have that. If I told you the truth, you never would have left me. You would have given up what you really wanted without a second thought . . .” Paige took a deep wheezing breath. “You’re wonderful that way. I couldn’t let you sacrifice the life you wanted because of me . . . so I acted like a nasty bitch . . . so you wouldn’t want me anymore.” Paige’s chest heaved as her voice cracked.
I picked up her hand and held it between mine. I kissed her palm, and then each finger. “Didn’t work. I still only want you.” I narrowed my eyes. She bit her lip and let out an audible heavy sigh.
“You’ve taken care of everyone your entire life, and thought of yourself last. Your dad, Jack. You never really did what you wanted or lived your life for you . . . I can’t do this to you. You deserve better—what are you doing?”
I lowered the side rail on the far side of the bed. Careful not to mess with her IVs or oxygen, I climbed into the bed and wrapped my arm around her waist. Paige buried her head into my chest as her weak shoulders shook from sobs.
“Hey.” I tapped my finger under her chin. She lifted her teary gaze to mine. “Do you love me?”
Paige nodded as her jaw trembled. “Yes. Always.”
The side of my mouth turned up in a smirk. “So we’re not going too fast, after all?”
Paige smiled and shook her head. “I’d marry you tomorrow if I could.” Her weak hand cupped my cheek.
I turned my head to kiss her palm and reached up to run my thumb along her wrist.
“I’d love to marry you. We just need to get you out of here first. Plus, I need to propose the right way.” I ran my hand down her cheek. She shut her eyes as she leaned into my touch.