"That's why I'm the meanest girl!" Amanda cried out. "I can't let myself feel sorry for people because I could end up being them! Do you think I want to be Tracey Devon? Or you?"
Jenna's mouth was still open. But the only word that came out was "Wow!"
"Exactly," Amanda said. "See? I'm not the perfect princess you think I am."
"I never thought you were perfect," Jenna muttered.
"And you're not the gangster I thought you were," Amanda added.
"I really was in reform school," Jenna argued. "Why were you sent there?"
Jenna looked away again." I was hanging out with some creeps, and they were dealing drugs. The cops raided the house where we were staying, and someone planted stuff in my pocket."
Amanda nodded smugly. "I knew I was right about you. You're a big fake."
"So are you," Jenna pointed out.
Amanda shrugged, and there was a long silence. Finally, Jenna spoke. "Remember when I was telling you about Serena and the hypnotism? How she wanted me to find out if this guy was into her? Well… I don't think she was really interested in him. There's something else going on. I couldn't read her mind, but I got the feeling she has secrets."
Amanda nodded. "Yeah, I think she's kind of weird, too."
Jenna gazed at her quizzically. "You know what? We kind of think alike."
"Yeah, maybe," Amanda said. "But that doesn't mean we're going to be friends," she added hastily.
"Absolutely not," Jenna assured her.
"Good." Amanda stopped pacing. "Let's go to the kitchen and find something to eat. And I'll tell Tracey's mother you're staying for a while."
"What if she says no?" Jenna asked.
Amanda grinned. "She's going to have to get used to a different kind of daughter. The kind that always gets her own way."
Chapter Fourteen
THERE WERE NO ABSENTEES in the gifted class the next day, so Serena had a full group to choose from. "Let's see," Madame said to her. "You've seen Charles, Emily, Ken, and Jenna, so there's Tracey, Martin, Sarah, and Carter to choose from."
Not me, Amanda thought. Somehow she'd have to avoid being with Serena. Who knew what she might reveal under hypnosis?
Madame wasn't giving Serena the choice. "I'd like you to spend some time with Carter, Ms. Hancock."
The student teacher had given up asking her to call her Serena. "Why him?"
Amanda was interested, too. Carter was the one student she didn't know anything about. He never spoke, and she had no idea what his special gift might be.
"We think that Carter has amnesia," Madame explained. "He was discovered a month ago, wandering the streets, by one of our teachers. We've tested him, and he seems very intelligent, but he doesn't speak or communicate in any way. We don't know anything about him."
"Why is he in the gifted class?" Serena wanted to know.
"We thought Carter might profit from being around other special young people," Madame said.
Serena didn't look terribly intrigued, but she had a question. "If he doesn't communicate, how do you know his name?"
"We don't," Madame said. "We named him after the place where he was found-Carter Street, on the west side. I think he might really benefit from hypnosis."
"Oh," Serena said, but she seemed to have lost interest and continued to gaze around the room. "Actually, I'd like to see Emily."
Madame's eyes narrowed. "But you've already worked with Emily," she protested.
"There's more work to be done," Serena insisted.
"But-"
"I do have Principal Jackson's permission," Serena reminded her.
"All right," Madame said, but there was no enthusiasm in her tone. "Emily?"
Emily obediently left the room with Serena. Madame's eyes followed them, and distrust was written all over her face. Amanda turned to look at Jenna. She didn't have to be a mind reader to know that Jenna was wondering about this, too.
Finally, Madame turned and addressed the rest of the class.
"In the past we've talked about the body-and-mind connection. Today we're going to draw on some yoga exercises, which can be helpful in learning how to control your body."
Amanda was pleased. She hoped that by concentrating on her body she wouldn't have to think about what was going on inside her head. She joined the class in pushing the desks and chairs away to clear space on the floor for the yoga exercises. Madame produced some mats and spread them out.
But yoga wasn't like doing the kind of exercises they did in gym class. Holding positions gave Amanda plenty of unwanted time to think.
Mymother is really nice, she thought. And I'm not very nice to her. What's the matter with me? If I ever get hack inside myself I promise I'll he better.
That was all very well, but she'd have to be herself again before she could make good on her promise. And she had no idea when that would happen-if ever.
Where are you, Tracey? she thought. Why won't you come back and reclaim your body? I'm making things better for you. You look a lot better. I've made your parents listen to you. If you keep doing what I'm doing, you won't be a great big nothing anymore.
She didn't really expect any response, so she wasn't surprised when she didn't get one. What was the matter with the stupid girl? No, maybe stupid wasn't the right word. Sad-that was Tracey.
Tracey, stop feeling sad. Get-get angry!
Still no response. Amanda gave up and concentrated on her body. And she had to admit, when class was over, she was more relaxed than she'd felt in ages.
Maybe it showed, because Madame kept looking at her oddly. And when the bell rang, she called out, "Tracey, could I see you for a minute?"
Amanda went to the teacher's desk, but Madame said nothing until all the other students had left the room.
Then she gazed at Amanda with an intensity that made Amanda uncomfortable, Tracey… "Yes, Madame?"
The woman shook her head. "No, you're not Tracey.
Amanda swallowed, hard. "I'm not?"
Madame smiled. "You know you're not."
Amanda bit her lip. Should she put up an argument? Something about the confidence in Madame's expression told her there was no point. "Why-why do you think I'm not Tracey?"
"The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you look… I've had my suspicions for a couple days. Can you tell me if Tracey is all right?"
"I don't know," Amanda said honestly.
"Can you tell me who you really are?"
Amanda gulped. "Do I have to?"
"I can't force you," Madame said. "Can I go now?"
Madame nodded. But as Amanda started out of the room, the teacher touched her shoulder, and she looked back.
"Whoever you are… be good to Tracey, okay? There's more to Tracey than meets the eye."
Amanda had a feeling that she wasn't just talking about Tracey's ability to vanish.
"I'm trying," Amanda said.
When the school day was over, Jenna was waiting for her at the school exit. "What did Madame want?"
"She knows I'm not Tracey," Amanda said glumly.
"Well, you can't blame her. You're not exactly acting like Tracey. Does she know who you really are?"
Amanda glared at her. "No, and you better not tell her."
"My lips are sealed," Jenna said. "Can you do me a favor?"
"What?"
Jenna looked uncomfortable. "This is kind of embarrassing, but… when I threw my stuff in my bag yesterday, I forgot something. Something kind of important."
"So you want to go home to get it?"
Jenna made a face. "The thing is… I don't want to go into the apartment if my mother and her friends are still hanging out. Sometimes these parties go on for days. If my mother sees me, she might start crying, and I'll feel awful."