Tears clogged my throat and I held in a sob. Kissing him again, being in his arms, just being near him, was so bittersweet it made my chest hurt. The familiar feel and taste of him was like finally being given a sweet after being denied for a long, long while.
When he lifted his head, I was flustered, unsure what had just happened, why he’d done that, what it meant… A thousand questions ran through my mind and I couldn’t meet his eyes. Nervously, I pushed my hair behind my ear.
Blane’s hold on me suddenly tightened and I glanced up at him. He was frowning, and as he looked at me, his expression changed to disbelief. I was about to ask what was wrong when he took my chin in his hand and turned my face toward the light. He sucked in a sharp breath. That’s when I remembered the bruises.
Shit.
“What happened?” he asked, his voice rife with fury.
I tried to turn away, but his grip tightened on my face, preventing me.
“Did Kade do this to you?”
“You’re. Hurting. Me,” I gritted out. Blane immediately released me. “No,” I said. “Of course Kade didn’t do this. How could you think that? It just… happened. How does any of the crap that happens to me happen? It just… does.”
“It’s precisely for that reason that you shouldn’t be around either of us,” Blane said.
“That’s your opinion,” I retorted.
“It’s a fact,” he shot back.
I bit back what I was going to say, the stark paleness of Blane’s face reminding me that this wasn’t about me, not really. He was bound to overreact, given what had happened to Kandi and the guilt he felt.
“When did you last eat?” I asked.
Blane just looked at me, no doubt knowing full well that I was changing the subject.
“Weren’t you just chewing my ass out a few days ago for not eating?” I asked. “Come on. I’m hungry and I’m sure Mona has something in the kitchen.” I got to my feet and tugged on his arm.
“I’m not hungry,” Blane said, resisting my attempts to pry him off the couch.
“If you don’t eat, I don’t eat.”
Blane glowered at me, but I stood my ground. Finally, the corners of his mouth tipped up slightly.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he murmured.
I couldn’t go there, not if I wanted to maintain my composure. Yet I found myself saying quietly, “Yeah, me, too.” I glanced away, my cheeks burning with the admission. I released his arm, but Blane stood and caught my hand in his.
We went to the kitchen, and I could hear Mona’s and Kade’s voices as we approached. The moment we stepped into the room, Kade’s eyes zeroed in on Blane’s and my joined hands. I tried to ease mine from Blane’s without making a big deal of it, but he kept a firm hold.
We sat at the small table, me between Blane and Kade, who sat opposite each other. I managed to free my hand from Blane’s when Mona set a plate in front of me.
“I made sandwiches,” she said. “But I can make something more substantial if you want.”
“Sandwiches are great,” I said quickly, my smile forced. Most of my attention was directed to how Kade and Blane were eyeing each other.
“Mona,” I called as she was about to leave the room, “won’t you sit and visit for a few minutes? I haven’t seen you in a while.”
Mona beamed at me and sat down at the table. “Gerard took your car to get it filled up,” she told Kade.
“That’s nice of him,” I said. I wished I had a Gerard.
“He likes to do stuff for the boys,” Mona said with a wave of her hand and an indulgent smile.
I took a bite of my sandwich to hide my own smile. It was just so funny to hear her refer to Blane and Kade, two dangerous men, as “boys.”
“So what have you been up to, Kathleen?” Mona asked.
I swallowed and took a drink of the water she’d set in front of me, noticing that both Kade and Blane were now looking at me and waiting for my answer. “I decided to go back to school,” I said.
“That’s wonderful!” Mona said. “What are you studying, dear?”
I took a deep breath before answering. “Criminal justice.”
“Why?” Blane asked.
I looked at him, surprised. “Why what?”
“Why would you pick criminal justice?” he clarified. “I thought you didn’t want to become a lawyer anymore.”
“A scum-sucking, bottom-feeding lawyer isn’t the only career you can pick with a criminal justice degree,” Kade interrupted. My eyes widened at his deliberate insult and Blane stiffened. “She can go into law enforcement, private investigation, the FBI—any number of fields.”
“You mean, so she can know exactly how to evade and bend, if not outright break, the law? Just like you, right, Kade?”
“Looks like she won’t have much choice, seeing as how you threw her out of your life and, just to add insult to injury, took her main source of income with you,” Kade shot back.
“What, you didn’t swoop in and save the day?” Blane sneered, leaning slightly over the table. “Didn’t buy her another expensive car or leave twenty grand on her table again?”
Okay, news flash—I didn’t realize Blane knew about that.
Kade leaned forward, too. “At least I did something about it,” he said, his voice rife with anger and contempt. “Unless she dances to your tune and obeys your every whim, you could give a shit what becomes of her.”
“Listen, you sonofabitch—” Blane began.
“Boys!”
Mona’s sharp interjection cut through what Blane had been about to say, making me start in my seat at the tone of her voice. Both Blane and Kade shut up, but their eyes were glued to each other’s and their body language screamed that they were a hair trigger from coming to blows.
Again.
Because of me.
“First of all,” Mona said, her voice quieter but still edged with steel, “language. You know I won’t tolerate language of that sort in this house.”
Kade broke the staring contest with Blane first, glancing guiltily at Mona. Blane sat back in his chair and stared glumly down at the table.
“Second,” Mona continued, “may I remind you that a dear friend of this family has died. I don’t think I need to point out that your behavior is disrespectful to her memory. And last, I was having a pleasant conversation with Kathleen, which you rudely interrupted, and now your bickering has upset her.” She gestured toward me.
The distress I felt at their fighting must have shown on my face, because Blane and Kade both looked at me, their expressions changing to an identical one of chagrin.
I cleared my throat and scooted back my chair from the table. “Um, I think it’s best if I leave. Mona, can Gerard give me a lift home?”
“Of course, dear,” she said a little sadly.
I stood but was stopped by Blane’s hand on my arm.
“Please don’t leave,” he said.
I looked at him, surprised.
“We won’t fight—I swear it,” he continued. “Just… stay. Please.”
It was a bad idea, I could feel it in my bones. But his eyes were pleading with me, saying things his mouth couldn’t, and in the end I couldn’t tell him no. Then again, when had I ever been able to tell Blane no?
“You promise not to fight?” I asked, looking to Kade as well. “Both of you?”
“Oh, am I invited to the sleepover, too?” Kade said, his tone laden with sarcasm and his eyes on Blane.
“Kade,” Mona admonished.
“Of course,” Blane said. He had his lawyer face back on and I couldn’t read anything from his tone or expression.
“Blane,” Mona said, “I would think, given his training, that Kade would be a big help to you in finding out who did those awful things to Kandi.”