“Like what?”
“Oh … to be everything I was born to, and more, I suppose.”
“And you are.”
“No, not really. The computer must have blended it all differently in me. Some of the pieces don’t fit, by his standards.”
“You miss the point. It’s your head that matters, your soul, your heart.”
“No, love. You miss the point. It’s the parties you go to, the clothes you wear, which committees you belong to.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Not anymore. But I used to be.” She was suddenly serious, but the moment fled as they arrived at the Ritz. Ernestine, wearing a green plaid flannel bathrobe, checked them in, looking faintly disapproving to see Kezia with Alejandro, and not Luke. But their separate rooms at opposite ends of the hall seemed to appease her. She padded back to bed, and they went back outside to the car.
“To the bay!” He was as excited as she.
“Thank you, Jeeves.”
“Certainly, madam.” They giggled together, and let the car bump over the hills on Divisadero Street. It felt like a roller coaster as the sharp swoops and drops lifted them off the seat.
“Want to stop for a taco?”
She smiled in answer and nodded her head. “Me, I get turned on by the bay. You, it’s the tacos. Welcome home.”
“And not a pizza in sight.”
“Don’t they have pizza out here?”
He made a face in response. “Yes, but we keep them under control. Not like New York. One of these days, a mad onslaught of crazed pizzas will take over the town.” He made fierce monster faces and she laughed.
“You’re a nut. Good heavens, look at that car!” They rolled into a drive-in food place on Lombard, and waiting at the window was a hot rod with the back all jacked up. “You’d think they’d fall on their faces.”
“Of course not. What a beauty … vrooommm … rooom!” He made the appropriate sounds and grinned broadly. “Haven’t you ever seen one like that?”
“Not that I can remember—and I daresay I’d remember—except maybe in a movie. What a horror!”
“Horror? It’s a beauty! Wash your mouth out with soap!”
She was laughing and shaking her head. “Don’t tell me you had one like that! I’d be shocked!”
“Well, I did. A lowrider special. My first car. After that I screwed up my image and got a secondhand VW. Life was never the same.”
“It sounds tragic.”
“It was. Did you have a car as a kid?” She shook her head, and his eyes opened wide in disbelief. “You didn’t? Christ, all kids in California have cars by the time they’re sixteen. I bet you’re lying. I’ll bet you had a Rolls. Come on, tell the truth!” She giggled, furiously shaking her head, as they drove up to the window to order their tacos.
“I’ll have you know, Mr. Vidal, that I did not have a Rolls! I borrowed a crumbling old Fiat when I stayed in Paris, and that was it I’ve never owned a car in my life.”
“What a disgrace. But your family had one, right?” She nodded. “Aha! And it was …” He waited.
“Oh, just a car. You know, four wheels, four doors, steering column, the usual stuff.”
“You’re telling me it was a Rolls?”
“It was not.” She grinned at him broadly and handed him the tacos that had just appeared at the window. “It was a Bentley. But my aunt has a Rolls, if that makes you feel any better.”
“Much. Now hand over those tacos. You may have come three thousand miles to see your old man. I came for the tacos. A Bentley … Jesus.” He took a bite of his taco and sighed rapturously. Kezia leaned back in her seat and began to unwind. It was comfortable being with him; she didn’t have to pretend. She could just be herself.
“You know something funny, Alejandro?”
“Yeah. You.” He was into his third taco.
“No, I’m being serious.”
“Yeah? How comer”
“Oh for chrissake, put a taco in you and you get all full of yourself.”
“No, I get gas.”
“Alejandro!”
“Well, I do. Don’t you ever get gas? Or is that bred out of your?”
She blushed as she laughed. “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that …”
“I’ll bet you fart in bed.”
“Alejandro, you’re awful. That’s a highly unsuitable remark.”
“Pobrecita.” He was a ceaseless tease when he was in a good mood, but she liked it. He had been so quiet on the plane, but now the atmosphere was festive again.
“What I was trying to tell you, Mr. Vidal, before you got outrageous …”
“Outrageous? Fancy that!” He had switched from tacos to root beer and took a long swallow.
“What I’m trying to tell you …” she lowered her voice, “is that the weird thing is, I have really come to need you. Isn’t that strange? I mean, I’d be totally lost without you. It’s so nice knowing you’re around.”
He was silent, with a distant look in his eyes. “Yeah. I feel that way too,” he said, finally. “It feels funny when I don’t see you for a couple of days. I like knowing you’re okay.”
“It’s nice to know that you care. I guess that’s what I feel, and it feels good. And I worry that maybe someone’s killed you on the subway when you don’t call.
“You know, that’s one of the things I like best about you.”
“What?”
“Your unfailing optimism. Your faith in the human race … killed on the subway…. Asshole. Why would I get killed on the subway?”
“Everyone else does. Why shouldn’t you?”
“Gee. Terrific. You know what I think, Kezia?”
“What?”
“That you fart in bed.”
“Oh, so we’re back on that again, are we? Alejandro, you’re a shit. And a rude, outrageous shit at that! Now drive me to the bay. And what’s more, I do not fart in bed!”
“You do!”
“I don’t!”
“You do!”
“Ask Luke!”
“I will!”
“You dare!”
“Aha! Then he’d tell me the truth, wouldn’t he! You do!”
“I do not! Damn you!”
The debate continued as he backed out of the drive-in, and finally dissolved in gales of their laughter. They chuckled and giggled and teased the remaining few blocks to the bay, and then they fell talent. It lay stretched before them like a bolt of darkest blue velvet, and there was a veil of fog high overhead, not low enough to obstruct the view from across the bay, but just enough so that it sat suspended on the spires of the bridge. A foghorn hooted sadly far off in the distance, and the lights around the rims of the shore sparkled.
“Lady, one of these days I’m going to move back here.”
“No, you won’t. You’re in love with your work at the center in Harlem.”
“That’s what you think. That bullshit is getting to be more than I want to have to deal with every day. People just don’t get as crazy out here. You never know, maybe that interview I have lined up out here will pan out.”
“And then what?”
“We’ll see.”
She nodded pensively, unnerved by the idea that he might leave New York. But it was probably just talk, to let off some steam. She decided to ignore what he had said. It was safer that way.
“When I see it like this, I want to stop time and stay in this moment forever.”
“Crazy girl. Don’t we all wish we could do that. Did you ever come down here at dawn?” She shook her head. “It’s much better then. This city is like a beautiful woman. It changes, it has moods, it gets all gray and baggy-eyed, and then turns beautiful and you fall in love with her all over again.”
“Alejandro, who do you love?” She hadn’t thought of that since the day they’d shared hot chocolate in Yorkville. He was almost always alone, or with her.