Steve shook his head and picked up the glass that sat on the table next to his chair, downing the last of the scotch in a single gulp. “We’ve been over the numbers, Kara,” he said, his voice taking on a steely edge. “We can’t afford to keep this house and pay for the apartment, too. We have to get a place in the city that’s big enough for all three of us.”
“But we won’t get enough for this place,” Kara insisted. Hadn’t he heard anything she said?
Steve set his empty glass on the end table and ran his hands through his hair. “I thought we’d already had this whole conversation.”
“That was before I met with the agent,” Kara shot back. Seeing Steve’s eyes narrow angrily, she added, “And it was before I watched Lindsay’s heart break.”
“She’s young,” Steve said, his voice taking on a tone she’d only heard him use in court when he was trying to make a point to a recalcitrant witness. “She’ll survive. In a year she’ll be off to college anyway. Frankly, I don’t understand why—”
“Don’t take that tone with me,” she suddenly flared. “This isn’t a case you’re defending! It’s your family! And moving to the city is not the best thing for your family. Remember when we first decided to have kids? We said we’d always put their best interests first.”
“And what’s best for her — for all of us — is that we start living together like a family again,” Steve shot back. “You know — having dinner together every night, with me actually coming home? How many times have we had dinner together in the last week? In the last month?”
“Whose fault is that?” Kara demanded, almost able to taste the bitterness in her voice.
Steve’s eyes glinted. “That’s a cheap shot, Kara. If I’m going to be the sole provider for this family, then maybe this family needs to rally around a few of my needs, okay?”
Kara felt what little control she still had over her emotions start to slip away. “This family does nothing but cater to your needs,” she said, her voice rising yet higher. “All we ever do—”
She was interrupted by a new voice.
A voice even louder and more furious than her own.
“Stop it!” Lindsay yelled. “Just stop it!”
Kara’s breath caught in her chest, and Steve looked as if he’d been struck. Both of them looked toward the stairs to see Lindsay, clad in her pajamas, her wrist wrapped in an Ace bandage, tears streaming down her face. “Just stop it!” she cried again. “I can’t stand your arguing anymore! I thought—” Her voice broke and she raised her hands to cover her face as her body began to shake.
“Whoa, kitten,” Steve said, quickly getting up and going to her. Sobbing, Lindsay fell into his arms. “Take it easy.”
Kara thought her heart would break as she watched them, and the anger she’d felt toward Steve only a moment ago dissolved as she saw him comforting their daughter.
“It’s just an argument,” he said. “It doesn’t mean anything at all. Your mother and I love each other and we both love you even more.” He held her, stroking her hair as she cried. Slowly, he guided her to the sofa, where they sat down next to Kara.
Kara took Lindsay’s hand. “I’m sorry, darling,” she said. “We’re just trying to work out what’s best for everybody.”
“Everybody,” Steve echoed, looking pointedly at Kara, “because we’re a family. And we all agree we need to be together — we’re just trying to figure out the best way to accomplish that.”
“You need to stop arguing,” Lindsay said, sniffling and wiping away a tear with the back of her good hand. “I–I just can’t stand it.”
“I’m sorry, kitten,” Steve said.
“It’s okay,” Lindsay said, but with a catch in her voice. Beseechingly, she looked first at her father, then her mother. “We can move, okay? I’ll adjust. Just don’t fight anymore, all right?”
Steve gave her a hug. “Hey, it’s not the end of the world, sweetie. It’ll be all right, I’m telling you. You’ll like living in the city. It’s an exciting place.”
Kara gazed uncertainly into Lindsay’s eyes. “You’re sure?” she asked. “You’re not just saying it’s okay because we were arguing?” Lindsay hesitated, then nodded. “Okay,” Kara sighed. “I’ll call the agent and tell him we’re signing the listing. They can start doing their thing, and we’ll see what happens.”
Steve nodded. Lindsay was sitting with her head down now, her hands in her lap, and as he watched, a tear rolled down her cheek and fell onto her pajamas. “Tell you what,” he said, lightening his tone. “Let’s go into the city on Sunday. We’ll look at some places — maybe hit some open houses and see where we might like to live.” He tipped Lindsay’s face up so she couldn’t avoid looking at him. “We might get lucky and find the perfect place. Something we all love.”
“And we can have lunch at that Thai place on West Sixty-seventh,” Kara said. “Remember their cabbage salad?”
Lindsay nodded, sniffling once more, but her eyes were no longer flooding with tears.
Kara gave her a nudge. “And we’ll go shopping at Bergdorf's.”
“Whoa,” Steve interrupted. “This is a trip for—”
“Shopping at Bergdorf's,” Lindsay broke in, a smile lighting her face.
Steve threw his hands up in mock resignation. “Okay — I get it. I’m outnumbered. Again.”
Lindsay shoved her elbow into his side. “You think you're outnumbered? How do you think I felt when I was listening to you two fighting about what we should do?”
Kara gave her daughter’s shoulders a squeeze, and for the first time in months felt that just maybe things would turn out all right. With a silent prayer of thanks, she smiled at her husband.
He smiled back.
Chapter Four
I think perhaps I’ve found her at last!
I can’t be sure, of course — not yet.
But when I first got the alert on my computer this morning, I felt a tingling in my belly.
The same kind of tingling I used to feel whenever she was near: a tightening in my groin, and cold fear in my belly.
Though it wasn’t strong, it was enough to make my fingers almost vibrate as I typed the keystrokes that took me to the listing.
But not just one listing! No! This morning there were two! My heart beat faster as I went to the first listing, but as the image of the house came onto the screen, the tingling began to fade. It was an ugly house — a kind of squat, shapeless bungalow. Not at all the kind of home I like.
But then I saw the other house, and my heart started to pound, and when I took the virtual tour, my excitement only grew. It may be the house.
I am almost sure it is the house!
A teenage girl lives there, and something inside me tells me she is perfect for me.
I know it. I know it!
I could tell from the first moment I saw the pictures of her room, but I had to be sure. But now I am sure, because I’ve gone over the photographs so many times that I have every detail memorized. Even as I write these words, I can see the room — her room — as clearly in my mind as if I were standing in it.
Touching it.
Smelling it.
Oh, yes — she is the one.
But I mustn’t be hasty, mustn’t let my hopes get too high. After all, I’ve had these thoughts before, and been so often disappointed.
This time, I won’t get ahead of myself.