“It’s always easy to think there’s a reason for everything, unless something bad happens to you,” the housekeeper sighed. She offered Jody milk for her coffee. Jody poured some in before she realized what she was doing; she drank her coffee black. She would let the mug warm her hands a few seconds longer, then go outside and pour the coffee on the ground.
Wayne had done that, years ago: poured all the coffee out of his cup over her tomato seedlings. He had also thrown things: bed pillows, dishes, unlit cigarettes.
“I’m taking up too much of your time,” Jody said. “I’ll go outside for a few minutes and take a few quick pictures, if that’s all right.”
The housekeeper shrugged. “The outdoors sure don’t belong to me,” she said, smiling as Jody walked out the door.
There were times when the smell of the breeze let you know you were going to get a good photograph. A tingle in your fingertips preceded whatever was about to intervene: a breeze, a stream of migrating birds. The best of them were synergistic, or they didn’t work at all except as well-composed arty photographs.
Earlier that day she had been looking through a book of Atget’s photographs of Paris — in particular, the photographs he took in the 1920s of hotel interiors. The picture of the Hotel de Roquelaure would have seemed a vision of heaven to any parent with a young child whose home was a battlefield of fallen animals, marching monsters, and discarded clothes. Only the black chair sitting to the side of the tall doors reminded you there was life in the hotel. You knew instantly that the chair was covered in velvet. It was not a leather chair, or a chair covered with any other material, but a chair with a fringed velvet seat. That hint of softness humanized the entire picture. The viewer believed there was a possibility of entering that room through the open door, of sitting in a magical chair.
She set up the tripod and screwed on the camera. Why was she about to take a photograph of the side of a house? Because — unless you were Atget — you had to wait for a mystery if you did not discover one. It was all intuition and patience: A rabbit might appear from under the bush; a meteor might fall.
She moved the tripod to another location so that when she photographed the house the little ash trees would be in the picture. She leaned over to look through the lens. Until you looked through the lens, you could never be sure. That was when things took on a prominence they didn’t have in life, or when details disappeared. You could find that the picture you thought to take with a wide-angle lens was really better seen in close-up. You could know the routine, use the right exposure, compose perfectly, but still — the photographs that really worked transcended what you expected, however certain the results may have seemed at the time.
It was a nice shot, but Jody didn’t trust the dimming light, so she bracketed when she took the shot again. Then she let the tripod stand where it was and loaded the Leica. Its lightness was reassuring. With the little Leica in the palm of your hand you suddenly felt more delicate, but at the same time more connected to things, the way you felt when you slipped a ballet slipper on your foot.
Through the lens of the Leica, the scene was nondescript. Turning a bit to examine the world, though, she found that it was just right for photographing the remains of a bird’s nest wedged between limbs above her head. No broken eggs lay below it. The ground was almost winter-hard. There would be no photograph of eggshells, and there would be no photograph of the crushed plastic in the driveway. At that moment, though, the photograph that would be taken began to exist. A rusty blue pickup started to bump its way into the driveway. She photographed the approach, as documentation. She photographed the man opening the door on the driver’s side and his companion, hopping out the other side. If they saw her, they gave no sign. They walked toward the house, one tall man and one small man with a funny way of walking, never turning to look over their shoulders.
She waited until they got to the door, then began photographing in earnest. And luck was with her: the wind got in the photograph. A wind blew up, and in an almost palpable way it reinforced the empty space that surrounded the men. Then she moved quickly to stand behind the tripod and photograph the men as the door opened, the lens compressing distance until their truck was no longer a respectable distance from the house but a huge presence, large and threatening. It existed in stark contrast to the branches blowing in the breeze, overwhelming the three small people who stood in the doorway. The housekeeper was squinting against the rush of air. Jody clicked and knew she had the right picture. The photo caption would read: After the Wedding. It would be one of twenty or so pictures she took in the county that winter that, to her surprise, would make people stop dead in their tracks to stare — photographs that revealed what she knew about the world in 1989.
THREE
In the late afternoon, the sun moving toward the west struck the globe of the ceiling light, sending prisms of color against the walls, mottling the furniture, and electrifying the edges of the big silver mirror. Jody’s camera equipment was pushed against the back wall. A tangle of cords was piled up in the corner, making her think of blacksnakes stunned in their crawl. Will liked to put his rubber snakes in among the cords. Sometimes he would wind them more neatly and place his collection of windup toys in the corral. Often, when Jody began to pull out the cords, she would topple Godzilla, or a family of apes in graduated sizes. Ah, she thought, staring at her improvised home studio, what a noble profession. She had put on hip-waders to walk into the lake amid lily pads in order to photograph one wedding couple setting sail in a canoe. She had loaned her size-eight shoes to a bride whose heel began to wobble just as she was about to walk down the aisle and had photographed the ceremony in her stocking feet. In the beginning, when she had almost no money and hadn’t believed in her heart of hearts that she could support herself and Will by taking photographs, she had bargained with one groom’s father for a weekly supply of baked goods in lieu of a fee. At least half a dozen times before she met Mel she had wished that she was marrying the man the bride was marrying. She routinely lied in admiring wedding rings that were no more attractive than pebbles. Camera raised, she would close her eyes for a few seconds and pray that the marriage taking place would last, however unlikely it might seem at the moment — that it wouldn’t become some dreary statistic of failure down the road. She often went home with blossoms stuck in her hair and rice in her shoes. She had also gone home and wept, unaccountably.
Right now, Will was at his Friday-afternoon hobby class. So far, he had made fourteen ashtrays (she did not smoke) as well as a dozen tiny human forms with arms outstretched so that they resembled Mel’s favorite corkscrew. Mel thought that whatever Will produced was a work of genius. Mel had also been presented with several ashtrays and had been told at great length about the ones that broke during firing. The ashtrays were lined up on Mel’s desk at work (when they were in New York last, he had taken Will to see them), and he assured Will that everyone at the gallery admired them greatly. It made Jody feel a little bad that she stored so many things Will gave her in the corner cabinet, but really, what was she supposed to do with so many presents?
Duncan knocked on the door. He had come to borrow her vacuum. Duncan was twenty-eight and young for his years. Mel was sure that he had a crush on her. He asked her opinion of cameras he would never buy, stood very tall when she complimented his cooking, and was always available to baby-sit if a sitter canceled at the last minute. Will assumed that Mel could follow up in teaching him ballet steps that Duncan had been showing him. He was entranced when Duncan snipped flowers from their stems and tucked the blossoms on trays of food he prepared, and he didn’t see why his mother wouldn’t adorn their dinner with sprigs of lilac. Duncan was always cheerful — and so hopeful — that even Mel occasionally made fun of him behind his back, rolling his eyes and posturing the way Duncan did when he was being praised.