The address he'd written on the slip of paper had been that of the cemetery where the Matthews' bodies were all buried.
Christopher shuddered. So alone against me, so alone and frightened; a little boy suddenly in the dark after all the lights had unexpectedly gone off.
"It'll get better," I said to Christopher. "I'll make sure it does."
"…supposed to do now?"
I leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "Shhh, c'mon… there-there…"
"How touching," said Grendel. "How magnificently poignant. A four-handkerchief moment if ever I saw one. So much intimacy. You really ought to take this chance to have him suck your cock. He's very good at it."
I started over to beat him with the bone again but Christopher stopped me.
"It's all right, Mark. It's okay." He patted my chest. "I'm… I'm better. Thanks."
"I didn't know how to tell you."
"I know."
"Can you forgive me?"
He shook his head. "There's nothing to forgive. I just… forgot that a delusion is only helpful so long as you remember it's a delusion." He rose to his feet, walked over to Grendel, and spit in his face. "I don't suppose you remember the night we watched Mad Max, do you?"
"I cannot say that I particularly remember much about the film, aside from those ridiculously overdone car chases."
"Good. Then this next part is going to seem new and original to you." He pulled a key out of his pocket and tossed it over beside the bodies. "That key will unlock the restraints. You've got one hand free. Here." He turned, picked up a hacksaw, and tossed it toward Grendel. "Here's how this is going to work. Arnold and I tested this out a few times on other chains, just in case you think I'm guessing."
"I would hope that you would not try guessing at anything," said Grendel. "You never do well with your guesses, do you?"
Christopher knelt in front of him. "In a minute, Mark and I are going to walk out of here. It will take us about a minute to get to the entrance of the mine—did I mention that we're parked in an abandoned mine?"
"No. How clever of you."
"Thanks. Anyway, we're going to walk to the entrance where I've got a bomb waiting—"
"—all of the documentaries about Oklahoma City, right? Oh, you are a clever boy… and me with all that fertilizer for my gardens."
Christopher backhanded him across the mouth. The sound was loud and sharp and deeply satisfying.
"Please don't interrupt me again. When he and I get there, I'm going to activate the timer. It's set for fifteen minutes. Are you paying attention to me now? This next part is very important.
"Arnold and I also tested this out on some of the body parts you left lying around. So here's the thing: you can saw through the chain holding your arm in place in about twelve or thirteen minutes. If you can do that, then you've got enough slack on your leg chain to get over there and pick up the key and set yourself free. That will give you about a minute-and-a-half to get out of this mine before the bomb goes off." He shook his head. "Don't know how you're going to manage that with only one leg, and to tell you the truth, I don't really care. That's if you get through the chain in thirteen minutes or less." He ran a hand over his mouth, then laughed softly. "The chain will take you thirteen minutes. But you can saw through your wrist in about seven, providing you don't pass out from the shock and pain. The choice is yours. On the bright side, if you don't get out and the bomb seals you in here"—he pointed to the bodies—"at least you'll have plenty to eat. For a while, anyway." He rose to his feet. "Come on, Mark. We need to get out of here before that storm gets any worse and parts of the road wash out."
"You do not have it in you to do this," said Grendel.
"Just watch," replied Christopher, stepping outside without so much as a glance back. I followed him, closing the door behind me.
"Are you serious?" I asked him.
"Goddamn right I'm serious—and don't look at me like that. It's more of a chance than he ever gave any of us!" He started walking toward the entrance. I followed after him.
"Christopher, please don't do this."
"Give me one reason why not."
I grabbed his arm and spun him toward me. "Because you're better than this!"
"No, I'm not. Maybe once, but not now. It was sure nice to believe that for a while, though. Thank you for that." He yanked his arm from my grip and kept walking.
"I can't let you do this!"
He whirled around. "And how exactly do you plan on stopping me? You want to do the stumblebum routine again? Because I'm about wrung the fuck out, Mark! Do you understand? I don't have any fight left in me! I got one thing left to do, one lousy goddamn thing and it's the only thing I've got left to look forward to, and then there's nothing! NOTHING! Everything else has been taken away from me, so now you're gonna take this one last thing away?"
"Don't you dare lay this at my feet! Don't you fucking dare! I will not stand here and let you force me into letting you commit murder again!"
"Murder? Again? Are you listening to what you're saying? You think what I did at the truck stop was murder? You think this is taking another human being's life? They're not human! They never were!"
"Yes, they are! We may not like the idea of being part of the same species as them, but that doesn't change the fact that they're people!"
"By whose definition? Yours? The Bible's? Tell me, Mark—under whose definition does Grendel qualify as a human being?"
"Please don't do this, Christopher. Please."
"This is getting boring."
I was starting to panic. "Maybe boring for you, but for me—pure scintillation. On my deathbed when my grandchildren ask me what was the high point of my life, I'll tell them without a doubt it was standing in an abandoned mine wired to explode and arguing the finer points of the evolutionary scale with Christopher Matthews while he was being an unreasonable horse's ass."
He grabbed my collar and pulled me up into his face. "Answer me one question, okay? At what point do you say 'no more'? Can you tell me that? Can you tell me at which point Mark Sieber says, 'I will give you all the benefit of every doubt up to a point, but once you cross this line, you lose your right to call yourself a human being and walk safely on the Earth?"
"Stop this."
"Where's that line for you, Mark? Or does it even exist? Fuck!—I'll bet you're one of these people who think that Hitler might've been okay if he'd gotten a few more hugs from Mommy."
"Stop this."
"GIVE ME ONE REASON! Just one!"
"Because I'm your friend and I'm telling you that if you do this, it will diminish you for the rest of your life and make everything you and the others have been through meaningless."
He froze, staring at me.
"If you do this," I continued, "you will never forgive yourself. Because somewhere inside you know that if you carry out this unbelievably sadistic act, you'll be dragging yourself down to his level and there's no coming back from there. He's hard-wired, but you're not. Do you want to be just like him, Christopher? Do you really think you could live with yourself after this was done? Because if you do think that, then all of this has been for nothing. Everything you've been through and lost, all the pain and humiliation Arnold and Rebecca and Thomas suffered at his hands, the deaths of the other children, all of it will made worthless."