Scarlett shivered. “Don’t talk like that, Vesta. You’ll jinx the sausages.”
“I’m not jinxing anything. Just telling you they’re really good.”
“How is Rose?” asked Marge.
“Remarkably well, actually,” said Odelia. “She took the death of her dad pretty hard.”
“And the fact that her stepmom was the killer,” Chase added.
“But last time I spoke to her she sounded okay. Her boyfriend moved in with her.”
“Is that still happening?” asked Gran.
“Yeah, looks like the events of the past couple of days have brought those two closer together. I think they’ll be fine.”
“Tastes pretty great, huh, Tex?” said Gran, really rubbing it in now.
“I’ve tasted better,” said Tex tersely.
“No, you haven’t.”
Tex shrugged and sat back, refusing to touch his food. If he wasn’t going to be allowed near his own grill anymore, he wasn’t eating.
“Oh, don’t be such a baby,” said Gran. “Eat your food before it gets cold.”
But Tex shook his head. “No.”
“Oh, honey, just take a bite,” said Marge. “Go on. It really is pretty tasty.” She placed a hand on her husband’s arm. “I mean, obviously not as tasty as when you make it, but it’s not so bad. Isn’t that right, Alec?”
The Chief magnanimously said, “I’m not a grill master like Tex but I do my best.”
“In that case,” said Tex, slightly mollified as he scooted forward again in his chair, “maybe I will take a tiny nibble. Just a taste, mind you.”
And before our very eyes, he wolfed down an entire plate in record time.
“Looks like Tex was really hungry,” said Dooley.
“Yeah, looks like,” I agreed.
“You really outdid yourself this time, Max,” said Harriet, extending a rare compliment. “You solved this case and in doing so saved Rose’s life.”
“The only thing I didn’t bargain for was that Daphne would try to kill her friend. Good thing Chase and Uncle Alec were listening in.”
“They’d bugged her house,” Dooley explained. “Which doesn’t mean that they put a lot of bugs in Grace’s house but that they put it full of very small listening devices.”
“Yeah, they were right outside, listening in the whole time,” I said.
“Amazing work, Odelia,” said Scarlett. “But you have to explain how this deepfake technology works, exactly. I mean, can they really use anyone’s likeness and make them do what they want?”
“Pretty much,” said Odelia. “Dan’s nephew told us he once made a video where his mom was holding a drunken speech and sent it to his dad. He thought it was real and was ready to launch into a long diatribe about the dangers of alcohol.” She grinned. “So when we made that video of Grace confessing that Daphne had left the house that night, Daphne accepted it as real.”
“And walked straight into your trap,” said Chase. “Nicely done, babe.” The cop looked a little rueful. “If only I’d known sooner we would never have arrested Rose—poor kid.”
“Yeah, first her dad is murdered and then she’s falsely arrested,” said Gran, directing an accusatory look at her son.
Uncle Alec shrugged. “Cops have to follow the evidence, Ma. That’s just the way it is.”
“Cops also have to use their brains,” she admonished him.
“Good thing Max has a good brain on him, then,” said Scarlett, and raised her glass in a salute… to me!
And before I realized what was happening, all the humans were raising their glasses, and Odelia said, “Great job, Max. Well done.”
“Oh, you guys,” I said, and I think I was blushing, though of course nobody could tell. Underneath that nice blorange fur of mine, though, I had a feeling I was red as a tomato.
“You won this round, Maxie, baby,” said Brutus.
“Yeah, you solved this case, Max,” said Harriet, “but the next one is for us. Isn’t that right, snookums?”
“Absolutely, snuggle pooh,” Brutus grunted.
Just then, Charlene Butterwick came hurrying up. “I’m so sorry I’m late,” she said, panting a little. Mayor Butterwick was dressed in a nice pantsuit, and looked like she’d come down straight from her office. “Some idiot glued a bunch of leaves to my car’s windshield. Took me ages to peel them off!”
“I thought it was soap,” Dooley muttered next to me.
“Oh, Dooley, not again!” Harriet cried.
“It looked like soap.”
“Probably tree sap,” I said. “Charlene’s car is usually parked underneath those elm trees, isn’t it? Those trees have been losing a lot of sap, dripping all over those cars.”
Dooley nodded. “I know how I promised to do no more good deeds, but when I saw her car standing there, the windshield covered with leaves, I simply couldn’t resist. So I started wiping them away, then figured I might as well use those leaves to clean her windshield, but then they all got stuck on there.” He heaved a deep sigh. “I’m not cut out to be a cub scout, Max. I’m really not.”
“How many times do I have to tell you,” said Harriet. “Cubs scouts are for humans only!”
Brutus, though, was laughing—in fact he was laughing so hard his belly was shaking.
Dooley smiled. “At least Brutus seems to enjoy my good deeds,” he said.
“It’s just too funny!” said Brutus, tears running down his furry cheeks.
Dooley’s face suddenly lit up. “I’ve got it! That’s what I should be! A comedian!”
“No, Dooley,” I said, shaking my head.
“Making people laugh is my thing!”
“No, no,” I said. “Absolutely not.”
“Yes, Max. I’ll be the greatest cat comedian that ever lived. I’ll have them rolling in the aisles!”
“Oh, please stop,” said Brutus, laughing and clutching his stomach.
“I’ll do standup!”
“Oh, God!” said Brutus.
“And stand-down!”
“Please!”
Even I had to laugh at this point, and Harriet cracked a smile. Before long, we were a rollicking, frolicking foursome, the porch swing rocking to and fro as we slapped our thighs. Dooley might make a terrible cub scout, but I had to hand it to him: he did have a talent for making us laugh. And as a wise cat once said: laughter is the best medicine.
But the best part? No more good deeds from now on. Yesss!
THE END
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Excerpt from Purrfect Sidekick (The Mysteries of Max 31)
Chapter One
The day started like most days, namely with me waking up from a well-deserved and refreshing nap. The difference was that I woke up on the couch. I’d relocated there as a consequence of Odelia’s habit of lashing out with her feet. I don’t know why she’d gotten into this habit, as it was extremely annoying to say the least. Just imagine dreaming one of those nice dreams us cats like to indulge in, for instance about a lifetime supply of Cat Snax being delivered on your doorstep, or being the star of cat choir and being lauded and applauded by your peers, when all of a sudden you’re rudely awakened by a kick or shove from your human’s leg to one of the more sensitive and vulnerable parts of your anatomy. It’s not a barrel of laughs, let me assure you, especially when as a consequence of this intervention you are sent plummeting to the floor in a jumble of flailing limbs.
Lucky for us we always land on our feet, and so far Odelia’s strange new habit had not caused me any physical harm. But it can’t be healthy, these interruptions of the natural process of sleep. Not unlike a computer suddenly losing connection with an external hard drive. If this keeps happening something has to give, and that hard drive will eventually break down. And so it was that I decided, after the third night in a row where I’d been thusly treated by my erstwhile favorite human, to beat a strategic retreat to the couch downstairs. Like a husband being relegated to the couch after having misbehaved, with the main difference that I hadn’t misbehaved in the slightest, or that I am Odelia’s significant other. That honor is reserved for Chase Kingsley, a local cop.