“Well, it’s not as if you can walk up to the commissioner and ask him point blank if he’s having an affair with the mayor’s wife, right?”
“No, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” she agreed with a grimace.
“What are you guys talking about?” asked Dooley from the backseat. He’d woken up and was yawning cavernously, inspiring me to follow suit.
“Max has got an idea,” said Odelia.
“Well that’s a first,” said Dooley, joining me on the front seat.
I scowled at him. “I’ll have you know I get plenty of ideas, and a lot of them are pretty smoking hot, too.”
“Sure, sure,” he said. “Just tell us already. Don’t keep us in suspense.”
After a last censorious look at my friend, I continued. “Like I was telling Odelia, if the commissioner and the mayor’s wife have been doing it all over the place, as they probably have, seeing as they’re probably in love and all of that soppy stuff, someone’s bound to have noticed.”
“Someone?” asked Odelia. “I doubt that very much, Max.”
“Did I say ‘someone’? I meant ‘some cat,’ of course. Whatever humans do, there’s usually a cat around, as there’s so many of us, and humans tend not to notice we’re even there half the time. They don’t realize we’re everywhere—and we like to blab.”
“Oh, do we like to blab,” Dooley confirmed, stolidly licking his paws.
“We blab a lot.”
“All the time.”
“So there you have it!” I said triumphantly, settling back to collect my well-deserved round of applause.
But Odelia didn’t seem convinced. “I don’t get it. What are you saying?”
I frowned at her. Sometimes I wonder if human intelligence is as well-developed as they seem to think it is. “I’m saying that there’s bound to be a cat out there who has seen something, and since all cats blab, probably the entire cat community of New York knows about this by now, and since cats also like to wander around, word has probably reached beyond city limits and might even have traveled as far as Hampton Cove. Do you get it now?”
Dooley didn’t seem to think she had, for he explained, “So all we need to do is find us a cat who knows a cat who knows a cat who’s seen—”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I said, stemming the flow of words. “What Dooley means is that we need to find a cat who knows a cat who’s seen—”
“Hey! That’s what I said!” exclaimed Dooley.
“No, it’s not,” I argued.
“It is, too!”
“Not!”
“You guys!” Odelia cried, laughing. “I get the picture. So you’re telling me you’re willing to look into this whole Chase Kingsley harassment case?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” I said.
“And what I’m saying too,” Dooley said.
Odelia glanced at us. “It’s very sweet of you to offer, but I don’t know…”
“Well, I do,” I said. “Not that we need to, mind you, cause us cats have a sixth sense so we already know if Chase Kingsley is telling the truth or not.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh? So is he telling the truth?”
I stared at her, not sure how to respond. I knew a lot depended on my answer. For one thing, if she started bumping and grinding with this Chase, like humans tend to do, our lives would never be the same again. Sooner or later she’d hook up with the guy, him being an alpha male and all, and then Brutus would become part of our extended family, which would turn our lives into a living hell. On the other hand, if it was Chase she wanted, it was Chase she should get, for deep down I thought he wasn’t as bad as all that, as men went. And God knows that Odelia deserved to get herself a decent guy for once, especially after that creep Sam she’d dated last time. Dooley and I had warned her the guy was up to something, but she hadn’t listened, and not only had he turned out to be a grade-A creep, but a nasty little thief, too.
“Look, I’ll tell you what I think, but on one condition,” I finally said.
“What’s that?” she asked tensely.
“Yeah, what’s that, Max?” Dooley chimed in.
“You have to get that cat of his neutered! It’s the only way I’m ever going to tolerate him living with us.”
“You’ve got a point, Max,” Dooley admitted. “Fix Brutus or else.”
Odelia stared at us. “Brutus living with us? What are you talking about?”
I sighed. “You know as well as we do that you like the guy, honey. Once you guys move in together and start nesting and making babies, Brutus becomes a fixture. The only way to take him down a peg or two is to fix him.”
“Yeah, that’ll fix him,” said Dooley.
To my surprise, Odelia burst out laughing.
“Hey, this is not a joke!” I reminded her. “Our lives are at stake here.”
“Our very lives,” Dooley muttered, closing his eyes and drifting off.
“You really think that Chase and I…” She shook her head, still laughing. “So you actually think that Chase and I are going to move in together?”
“Of course! Isn’t it obvious? You like the guy and he likes you, so you’re bound to end up together at some point in the future. I know humans, Odelia. I’ve studied the species extensively. I know attraction when I see it.”
She was still shaking her head, her blond hair dangling around her shoulders. She looked lovely, I thought. Sunlight slanted in through the grimy windshield and lit up her features, and made her hair shine golden. No wonder this Chase couldn’t keep from bumping into her wherever she went.
“Look, Max. I don’t know what you think you saw, but Chase and I are never going to become an item. He doesn’t even like me. In fact he hates me. And I…” She faltered, and then said stubbornly, “I don’t like him either.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just keep telling yourself that. Anyway, here’s the deaclass="underline" promise to have Brutus fixed and I’ll tell you what kind of guy Chase Kingsley really is.”
“All right,” she said. “If Chase and I should ever get together—and that’s a very big if, mind you—I’ll talk to him about having his cat neutered.”
“Great,” I said, the prospect of Brutus having his nuts chopped off suddenly putting me in a great mood. Hey, I never said we’re always the cuddly, sweet-tempered creatures you humans seem to think we are!
“Now tell me,” she insisted. “Is Chase Kingsley innocent of these harassment charges like he claims, or is he simply lying through his teeth?”
She gazed at me expectantly, and I gave her a reassuring grin, though I doubt whether she could spot it. “He’s innocent,” I told her. “The guy’s as honest and valiant as they come. You’ve got yourself a regular white knight here, honey. Chase Kingsley would never harm a woman or touch her in anger, nor force himself upon her. I’m pretty sure the commissioner and the mayor’s wife have been very naughty, and did a real number on the guy.”
“No wonder he looks so angry all the time,” she murmured, and I thought I could see a small smile tugging at her lips. My assessment of Chase had obviously pleased her, which just went to show I was right about them.
“So what do you think, Dooley?” she asked, keen to get a second opinion. Her dad was a doctor, after all. Getting a second opinion was what they did.
“Max’s right,” muttered Dooley, not even bothering to open his eyes. “The guy is golden.”
“That settles it,” said Odelia, now looking grim. “I’m going to expose the commissioner and the mayor’s wife and clear Chase’s name.”
I looked up in alarm. “Um, I wouldn’t do that if I were you, honey.”
“Why not? He’s been wrongfully accused. You said so yourself. It’s my job to right this wrong. It’s what I do.”
Uh-oh. I shook my head. “If you’re going after those two they’ll simply deny the whole thing and get you fired. You’ll never work in this town again.”
“Ever, ever, ever again,” muttered Dooley, who was living proof that while cats might appear to be sleeping, they’re actually fully alert.