“Exactly. You certainly don’t.” If this came across as a barb, I didn’t mean it. I totally get how Odelia can’t afford to feed me filet mignon every day. Not on a reporter’s salary.
But if I expected her to be offended, I was mistaken. Instead, a keen look had appeared in her eyes.“Do you think this Chase Kingsley is rich?”
“I doubt it. A cop? Rich? Highly unlikely.”
“Maybe he comes from money?”
I shook my head.“I don’t think so, honey. If he did, either Brutus or Harriet would have told me. The guy’s a genuine blabbermouth, and so is Harriet, as you well know.”
“Know what?” asked a voice from the door.
Chapter 2
Oh, crap. That’s the problem with cats. They tread so softly you never hear them coming until they’re already upon you.
“Hey, Harriet,” I said when the white Persian strode into the kitchen. As usual, she was looking haughty, her nose in the air. I swear she thinks she’s the Queen of Sheba or something. Or the Queen of Hampton Cove, at least.
“We were just saying how well-informed you always are,” said Odelia.
Nice save.“Yeah, how you always seem to know everything about everybody,” I added sweetly.
She smiled at this. You might be surprised that cats can smile, but they can. Again, it’s the hair. It obscures many of our facial tics. “It’s true,” she said complacently. “I do know everything about everybody all of the time.”
“Max was just telling me about this new cop in town,” said Odelia.
“Chase Kingsley,” she said, nodding. “He’s a dreamboat.”
“Oh, God,” I groaned. “Here we go again.”
“No, he is,” she insisted. “He’s just about the most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on, and I’ve laid eyes on my fair share of men over the years.”
Listening to Harriet, you would almost think she’s a human herself, which is a phenomenon quite common amongst cats. They spend so much time with humans they get confused. It’s called cross-species confusion. It’s a thing. It really is. At least I think it is. “If he’s as handsome as Brutus, I can tell you you’re blind, Harriet,” Isaid now. “That guy isn’t handsome. He’s scary.”
“There’s nothing scary about Brutus,” she said huffily. “He’s one fine cat.”
“He’s a bully, that’s what he is, and I don’t like him one bit. Barging in here as if he owns the place.” Then suddenly it dawned on me what Harriet had said. I narrowed my eyes at her. “How would you know what Chase Kingsley looks like? Did you see him?”
“I sure did.” Her face took on a beatific quality. “He looks lovely when he sleeps. Like an incredibly buff angel.”
Odelia barked an incredulous laugh.“You watched him sleep?”
“Of course. I walked Brutus home last night and he invited me in. Who was I to say no? Especially when it gave me the chance to get a glimpse of the new cop in town. And I have to say Chase Kingsley is everything Brutus said he was and more.” She emitted a giggle. “He sleeps in his boxers. NoPJs.”
If I could have, I would have covered my ears with my paws.“Please, Harriet. Don’t make me puke.”
“He sleeps in his boxers?” asked Odelia.
Harriet gave her tail a studious lick.“Boxers… and nothing more. Tr?s cute.”
I held up my paw.“Enough already. Brutus is a bully and I’m pretty sure so is his master. Or have you forgotten that pets and their owners often share distinctive traits?”
“Oh, please. Odelia’s blond and you’re orange.”
“Blorange. I’m blorange, which is almost the same thing as blond.”
“I’m sure that’s not even a real color.”
“It is a color,” I assured her. “It’s strawberry blond, with gold rose hues.”
“You’re such a freak,” Harriet sighed, shaking her snowy white fur.
“Hey, don’t use the word freak in my house,” warned Odelia. “That’s not nice. Now tell me more about this new cop. Where does he live?”
“He’s staying at Chief Alec’s for the moment. Until he can find his own place.”
Odelia’s eyes were positively glittering with interest. So I gave her a warning scowl. “Don’t listen to Harriet. The guy is a bully. Waltzing into town as if he owns the place. Leaving his repulsive pee all over the place.”
Odelia frowned.“Leaving his pee? You mean Chase Kingsley is a public urinator? That’s not right for a cop. Or anyone else for that matter.”
“Not Kingsley, Brutus. Though I wouldn’t put it past Kingsley either.”
“How would you know? You haven’t even met the guy,” Harriet challenged.
“I just know these things. I’m a great judge of character.”
“You’re simply jealous because both Brutus and Chase are alpha males and you’re not.”
“They’re bullies,” I pointed out. “There’s a distinction.”
She turned to Odelia.“You should snap him up now, Odelia, if you want to have a shot at him. He’s bound to become very popular very soon.”
This appeared to be one bridge too far for Odelia, though.“I have no intention whatsoever to snap anyone up,” she said, her smile vanishing. “The only reason I’m asking is because I’ll need to write a piece about the guy.”
“I’m sure Chief Alec will drop by the newspaper today to introduce him,” Harriet said, then lowered her gaze. “So you better make sure you’re dressed to the nines, honey. Remember what they say about first impressions.”
“Odelia doesn’t have to dress up to make a great first impression,” I said. “And what’s more, I don’t see why she has to make a great first impression in the first place. It’s not as if she’s even remotely interested in the man, is she?” I gave Odelia a pointed look, but she choseto ignore me. Never a good sign.
“I can always make an extra effort,” she said instead, dragging her fingers through her long blond mane and shaking it out until it fanned out across her shoulders. Uh-oh.
“Why would you want to dress up for that idiot?” I asked, alarmed.
She laughed.“You’re overreacting, Max. I just want to make sure I look presentable for our first meeting. I’ll probably spend a considerable amount of time with the man, working closely together as I have with Uncle Alec.”
That was true enough. As a reporter, she often sat together with the chief to thresh out the details of some case he was working on.
She now rose from the chair and drained the final dregs from her cup, then transferred it to the sink and gave it a good rinse.“Think I’ll go and get ready, you guys.” She winked at Harriet. “Don’t want to be late for work.”
Harriet purred approvingly. The moment Odelia had disappeared upstairs, Harriet gave me a supercilious look.“See? She likes him already. That’s women’s intuition for you.”
“Oh, boy,” I muttered. I had a bad feeling about this. Odelia hooking up with this cop? No way. Imagine they hit it off. Next thing they’d be moving in together, which meant I’d have to share my space with Brutus. Not only my space, but my food, too. And my extra special place at the foot of the bed!
“Trouble in paradise?” asked Harriet sweetly. Too sweetly for my taste.
“I can’t move in with that Nazi furball, Harriet,” I said, shaking my head nervously. “I can’t live with the monster bully spawn from hell!”
“I told you, he’s not a bully, Max. Brutus is simply a stickler for discipline. Just like his human, I would imagine. They’re both cops, Max, not bullies.”
But I wasn’t fooled. Last night Brutus had sprayed all over my favorite tree, just to taunt me. When I complained, he pointed out that Hampton Cove Park and its trees were part of the public domain, and as such off limits to cats that weren’t law enforcement like him. If I wanted to mark a tree as my own, I would have to do it in my own backyard, not the park. It was an awfully narrow interpretation of the Hampton Cove penal code, I felt, if cat spraying was even in the code, as Brutus seemed to suggest.