I danced a great deal that night, first with Heneage and then with Hatton. The floor cleared while Hatton and I performed and everyone applauded wholeheartedly. Sir Thomas forbade any to use the floor while we danced for he said everyone would want to see the most perfect, lively yet elegant performance of the Queen. I saw Robert come back to the ballroom. Lettice was not with him but they would not be so foolish as to return together but I was sure they had been with each other. I noticed, too, the furtive glances which were cast at Robert. He must have been aware of them, too. People were whispering about him, asking themselves if this was the end of his favor with me and whether I was thinking of setting either Heneage or Hatton up in his place. It must have been galling for Robert and I almost called him to me to comfort him and to show these crowing courtiers that they were quite wrong. My anger with him would pass as soon as he gave up sighing for my cousin Lettice and turned his attention entirely on me. But this was part of his punishment and I must not weaken toward him.
Sir Thomas announced that there was to be a game of Question and Answer, one which was played frequently at Court revels and as he was the King of the Bean, Heneage would say how it was to be played on this night. He would select the questions and then say who was to ask them of whom. I guessed, of course, that Robert would be selected for Heneage was as jealous of Robert as Robert was of him, and having seen Robert suffer the humiliation of not being selected to take the Bean, he would be only too ready to submit him to further discomfort.
“I command my Lord Leicester to ask a question of the Queen,” declared Heneage.
Robert calmly waited while Heneage said slowly: “The question is, Which is more difficult to erase from the mind, an evil opinion created by an informer or jealousy?”
I smiled at Robert as he turned to me and repeated Heneage's words.
I thought: You are indeed jealous, my dear Robert, and I suppose so am I. How foolish we are to cause each other pain.
And I replied: “My Lord Leicester, they are both hard to be rid of, but jealousy would seem to be the harder.”
Applause rang out as though I had said something profoundly wise, but Robert had flushed and he did not meet my eye.
It had not been a very amusing evening for me. I missed him for he disappeared again. He was indeed piqued. I was very sorry but I did not intend to allow him to carry on his philandering at my Court.
WHEN I HEARD that Robert was going to fight a duel I was filled with apprehension. It was exciting to know that they were fighting for my favor but terrifying to contemplate that Robert might receive some injury or—a prospect which appalled me—be killed.
It appeared that on the morning after the night of the Bean, Robert had sent a messenger to Heneage telling him that he was going to call and he would be bringing a stick with him for he had to administer a lesson. There could be only one response to that and Heneage made it. The Earl of Leicester would be very welcome and Sir Thomas Heneage would be waiting for him with a sword.
This was ridiculous.
I sent for Heneage. There was a hushed atmosphere in the royal apartments. I knew my ladies were whispering together just out of sight; their eyes would be sparkling with anticipation as they speculated on the outcome. They were all certain that Robert was falling out of favor, the idiots—as if he ever would! As for Heneage, he was a good-looking man and I did not want him hurt either.
Lettice was there. I should send her off. It would be simple to dismiss her and pack her off to her husband's house. But in a way that would be to admit defeat and to imply that I could not beat her on equal terms.
However, my first task was to stop this absurd duel.
Heneage knelt before me all eagerness. I really believe he thought he had increased my regard for him. Perhaps he was planning to kill Robert and hand me his head on a charger. The fool! If he harmed Robert—however slightly—I would never forgive him.
“So, Master Heneage,” I said, “you have decided to fight duels, have you, when you know I forbid such folly?”
“Your Majesty,” he began, raising his bewildered eyes to mine, “I…I but sought to teach a lesson…”
“So you have become a tutor, have you, my merry man. You would teach the Earl of Leicester good manners, would you, disregarding your Sovereign's wishes and strutting about waving your sword!”
“Your Majesty, the Earl of Leicester began this by threatening me…”
I pupped with my lips which they all knew was my way of expressing contempt. I kept him on his knees while I made it very clear that I would have no dueling in my realm.
“If you think to win my favor with your buccaneer's ways you are mistaken. I will not have brawling… and screaming of abuse. Though…if you must fight, fight with words.”
“Your Majesty …” There was a certain protest in his voice. I suddenly had a picture of Robert lying mortally wounded on a stretch of grass with a triumphant Heneage standing over him and I could not bear it. I brought up my hand and gave Heneage a stinging blow about the head.
I watched the red blood flow into his face; he put up his hand and I was rather sorry for him. After all this had all come about through their feelings for me and if it was ambition which prompted them rather than love, I could not blame them for that.
“There, Master Heneage, you may go, and next time prate not so freely of using your sword against another of my subjects, wreaking damage on him… and yourself.”
He went out shamefacedly and feeling sorry for him I called out: “I like to see you too well at my Court, Master Heneage. Remember that.”
The smile came back to his face. He bowed as he retired; and I did not think he would dare challenge Robert again.
Then I sent for Robert.
If he had come humbly I think I should have forgiven him and then asked him outright about his affair with Lettice, banished her from Court and taken him back; but he was truculent. In a way I would not have had him pleading, and although part of me wanted him to, I was glad there was nothing mealy-mouthed about Robert. He flattered me; perhaps he professed to love me more than he did; but if part of that love was for the crown, there was still a large measure for me alone.
He was sullen, aloof, proud, telling me quite clearly that although I was the Queen he considered himself my equal—and that was something I would not endure.
I said: “So you think fit to flout my rules and brawl with Heneage?”
“I cannot submit to insults from such men.”
“Such men? What mean you? Heneage is a worthy member of my Court.”
“If Your Majesty thinks so…”
“I do think so. I tell you I think so.”
He lifted his shoulders almost contemptuously and I thought: This is what comes of showing too much favor to one man. This arrogant Robert needs a lesson and by God's Blood he shall have it.
“I have wished you well,” I cried and my voice grew louder as I continued: “But my favor is not so locked up in you that others may not have a share of it. I have other servants besides my Lord Leicester. I would have you remember, Master Dudley, that there is one mistress here and no master. I have raised up some, but they can as surely be lowered, and so they shall be if they assume an arrogant impudence because once they enjoyed my favor.”
Robert was stunned. I admit now that I was a little, too. I was angry and deeply hurt, to see him standing there so far apart from me, his face as handsome in anger as it ever was. I almost put my arms about him and promised him that I would marry him after all.
But the sterner side of me said no. Have you not seen what happens to a man when a little power passes into his hands? What did Melville say of you: You will brook no commander. Remember it, for Melville is right.