So I stood there and for a few moments we stared coldly at each other in silence.
Then he spoke quietly and said: “Your Majesty, I ask your permission to retire from Court.”
“You have it,” I said, “and the sooner the better.”
He was gone, leaving me angry, deeply wounded and desperately unhappy.
HOW DULL THE COURT was without him! I was fractious and illtempered. When I sat through the long process of preparing myself for the evening's revelries, I was constantly shouting at my ladies until they were reduced to such nervousness that they were even more clumsy than they would otherwise have been; and this added to my irritability. All the intricate processes of getting into bone and buckram, the tight lacing, the whalebone hips, the petticoats, the glittering picadillie ruffs, the gorgeous gowns of velvets and brocades glittering with pearls and precious stones… they all seemed pointless because Robert would not be there to see me. Lettice was still waiting on me, and I did have the satisfaction of knowing that, in any case, he was not with her.
I heard that he had gone to Kenilworth which had come into his possession with the title, and that he was making it into one of the most magnificent castles in the country.
I wondered if he missed the Court and me.
They were saying: This is the end of Leicester. His day is over. Well, he had a good running. Who will take his place?
Idiots! I thought. As if anyone could take his place!
One of Robert's chief enemies was Thomas Howard, Duke of Norfolk. I had favored Howard when I came to the throne because of his connection with my mother's family; moreover I needed his support because he was one of the leading peers in the country; but I never liked him. I thought he was arrogant and stupid with it.
Many of them were jealous of the favor I showed to Robert, of course, and Norfolk particularly so since the incident at the tennis court some little time before which I had forgotten.
I had been watching Robert play with Norfolk. My father had excelled at the game and loved to play it before spectators for he always won (it was the rule of the Court that no one should beat him). Therefore he had liked a goodly company of lookers-on, especially beautiful women.
In this particular game Robert was winning for he was very skilled in all games and although, like my father, he hated to be beaten, in Robert's case he had to win by skill.
This he was doing and Norfolk was becoming more and more disconcerted especially as when Robert made a good stroke I clapped my hands and my ladies naturally did the same.
During a pause in the game with Robert well in ascendance, he came to my side. I smiled at him lovingly and he returned my smile.
“You are too hot, Robin,” I chided him. “You will take a chill.”
At which he took my mockinder—a sort of handkerchief—from my girdle and mopped his brow with it. I must admit that I was a little taken aback by such an act of familiarity in public, but it pleased me in a way, even though I knew that it was such gestures which gave substance to the gossip that we were lovers.
Norfolk had seen it and he cried out: “You impudent dog! You insult the Queen!”
He approached Robert brandishing his racquet and I thought there would be a fight in my presence. I was too startled to cry out and before I could do anything to put an end to the scene, Robert had seized Norfolk's hand which held the racquet, twisting it so that the Duke yelled in pain and the racquet dropped to the ground.
I could blame Norfolk absolutely for he had started the brawl. I shouted then: “How dare you, Norfolk! How dare you behave in such a way before me! Look to it, or it may not be only your temper which is lost.”
Norfolk was immediately subdued. He wanted to explain but I silenced him and he asked leave to retire.
“That I willingly give,” I cried. “And pray do not return until I send for you.” Then I turned to Robert and I said: “Methinks, my lord Norfolk does not like to be beaten at tennis. Not only does he lose the game but his temper with it. And you, my lord Leicester, are somewhat overcome by the heat. Pray be seated and cool yourself.”
I indicated that he should sit beside me and as he did so, I took the mockinder and replaced it in my girdle.
So now that Robert appeared to be in decline Norfolk would be jubilant and with the help of Sussex and Arundel he thought he could destroy Robert forever.
I was sure that they were behind the diabolical plan, when rumors started to circulate once more concerning the death of Amy Robsart.
It appeared that John Appleyard, Amy's half-brother, had stated that he had received large sums of money from Robert at the time of Amy's death for his services in suppressing certain facts and now his conscience demanded that he make those facts known.
I could imagine them all—Norfolk, Sussex and Arundel—rubbing their hands together with glee. Leicester is out of favor. Let us kick him while he is down. Let us destroy the gentleman once and for all.
Robert might survive my disfavor and occupy himself away from Court, but if he were found guilty of murder, what then?
Old scandals did not easily die. Skeletons remained to confront the unwary. But they had forgotten that if Robert could not afford to have the circumstances of Amy Robsart's death brought into prominence, nor could I.
I thought of him surrounded by the splendors of Kenilworth. Was he as lonely as I, as wretched without me as I was without him?
I knew what I would do. I would recall him to Court. I would show my favor to him. I would let him know that when he was in danger there was one who would not forget him.
I sent for him.
He came back with all speed. I shall never forget the moment when he came into my chamber. He knelt at my feet and I touched his head—that dark curling hair which I loved so much.
I said: “Rob, the Court has been dull without you.”
“Elizabeth,” he said. “My beautiful Elizabeth.”
Then he was kissing my hands and I felt near to weeping.
“You are an evil man to displease me,” I cried emotionally. “Never… never do it again.”
He stood up and would have embraced me but I stepped back. Too much emotion might betray me into taking steps which I would regret later.
I said: “I want to discuss that knave Appleyard with you.”
So we talked and it was as it used to be. He told me how lonely he had been, how pointless life was and he had not much cared when Appleyard had brought his monstrous accusations against him.
“The rogue shall be made to eat his words,” I said. “I doubt not that now you are back with me Norfolk and the rest will be less anxious to bay at your heels.”
“May God bless Your Majesty now and forever.”
“Oh Robin,” I said quietly, “it pleases me to have you back.”
I ORDERED THAT John Appleyard be arrested and examined by the Privy Council and I commanded Cecil to interrogate him first; and then the other members of the Council should do so. This included Norfolk and Sussex. But I had no fear of them. My favor had drawn their teeth, and as Cecil realized the need to discredit Appleyard, for accusations against Robert could incriminate me, I could rely on the matter's being brought to a satisfactory conclusion.
I was right to act as I did. Appleyard confessed that he had received money from Robert, but as he was his brother-in-law there seemed nothing significant in this. He had, he admitted, asked Robert for money and Robert had considered his demands as blackmail to which he would not submit, and had cut off all communications with him. That had been the state of affairs when he had been approached by two men who offered him money to reopen the scandal. He was ashamed to say that he had agreed to do this.