I could not forget her. Whenever I saw Leicester I was reminded of her. He was as devoted to me as ever, but sometimes I wondered when he was at my side whether he would rather have been with Lettice.
Although he behaved as though his adoration of me had not diminished, he could no longer talk of marriage; but he never gave the slightest hint that he did not continue to regard me as the most desirable of women.
One New Year's Day his present to me was fifteen large gold buttons and three dozen smaller ones to match, all embellished with rubies and diamonds in the form of lovers' knots; and enchanting as they were in themselves, there was no mistaking the sentiment they expressed.
I could not help asking him whether his wife had assisted him in choosing them. He answered gravely that the choice had been entirely his.
I thought angrily: Oh Robert, I know there had to be women, but why could they not have been light love affairs such as you have had in countless numbers? Why did there have to be this one… and with that woman?
But I did not mention her often and I kept him beside me.
In the autumn of that year I met a wonderful man whose exploits filled me with pride and admiration. This was Francis Drake, a young man from Devon. When I say young, he was about forty years of age, and it is significant that I was beginning to think of such as young.
He was the greatest sailor in the country…in the world, I would venture to say, and he had performed a magnificent feat in sailing round the world.
Three years earlier I had learned of his intention to navigate the globe and bring back treasure from far places. It was a plan which appealed to me. I had always liked adventurous men, and had long realized that the strength of my country must lie in its Navy. We were an island; we needed special protection; so I had promoted the building of ships, and I wanted men such as Francis Drake to sail in them.
I could see that he was an adventurer—a man of daring with bold ideas and one who would not hesitate to carry them out. When the project had been suggested I had consulted Dr Dee, who had written a book called The Perfect Art of Navigation. It was clever as well as prophetic, and on his advice and that of Christopher Hatton, who was very much in favor of the scheme, I invested in it.
Hatton took it upon himself to manage these affairs and he himself invested heavily in the venture. This voyage of discovery appealed to me in more ways than one. The Spaniards were already probing the unknown world and I saw my country as a rival to Spain. If we could outwit the Spaniards so much the better, and if we encountered their treasure ships on the high seas, who was to stop us plundering them? Drake was the man to lead such an expedition. So with the financial investment he received, he fitted out his ship, the Pelican, for the voyage and chose those who would go with him. Before setting out he changed the name of the Pelican to the Golden Hind in honor of one of Hatton's heraldic beasts, for Hatton had made the voyage possible, not only financially but by helping Drake smooth over any political opposition there might have been. It was necessary to keep my good Burghley ignorant of the trip for he would certainly have raised all sorts of objections about the legality of maritime law. I suppose I was something of a buccaneer myself and that was why men such as Francis Drake appealed to me.
When Drake returned Hatton was beside himself with glee. The success of the enterprise had been beyond our most ambitious expectations. All those who had invested in the venture would share the profits, which were a four thousand seven hundred percent return on the original outlay. The hold of the Golden Hind was filled with precious stones and valuable articles, many of them taken from ships on their way to Spain. This was more than treasure. Drake had inflicted great damage on the grandeur of Spanish prestige. No Spanish ship had been able to cripple the Golden Hind and it and its crew had returned to port safely after three years of voyaging, and with enough treasure to make all its crew rich men.
The bullion was to be conveyed to a stronghold in the Tower. The Spanish Ambassador was furious. Christopher Hatton rejoiced and I said my old Bellwether had led me to a fortune. Robert and Walsingham both received four thousand pounds by royal warrant. Burghley and Sussex were the only two who refused to accept any of the spoils. Burghley had been offered ten golden bars and Sussex a service of gold plate. They both declined, declaring that they could not bring themselves to accept stolen goods.
I might have been annoyed with them, but I respected my men. I needed the upright ones like them as well as adventurers like Francis Drake. They all had their parts to play. I wanted all manner of able men in my service.
To show them that I had no qualms myself, I had a crown made from the diamonds and emeralds. There were five of these last which were of great size, quite three inches in length, and they made a wonderful frontage for the ornament. I wore it with great pride at the New Year's Day revelries and jocularly called Burghley's attention to my “booty.”
The Golden Hind was laid up at Deptford and Drake begged the honor of entertaining me on board. This was an invitation which I could not refuse after such service as Drake had rendered to the nation, so I went there and on the deck of the Golden Hind this brave man was knighted and I allowed him to conduct me to the banquet. I was surprised to find that he was such a small man—I had expected a giant—but he was full of energy. He was handsome enough with large clear brown eyes and brown hair, much bearded and with a cheerful expression. He was clearly delighted with his success—and he had every reason to be—and it was pleasant to see how he reveled in the honor which he had won.
I sat beside him at the dinner, which was lavish. The sight of so much food nauseated me a little, but I made a pretense of eating and those who knew my tastes made sure when they could that I was served very little.
I talked with some of the men who told me about their adventures sailing with Drake. They obviously admired him and I was not surprised for there was a power in him, the quality of a true leader. I learned that he took artists with him to paint the coasts in their true colors, and how even in times of hardship he had been served at table with ceremony and that music was played to him while he ate. He was what a leader must be—strict and just and never asking his men to take risks which he would not take himself.
As a memento of the occasion he gave me a silver casket and an ornament made of diamonds in the shape of a frog—a nice compliment to my suitor.
I liked Sir Francis Drake. This was a man I needed, for the treacherous Spaniards could never be trusted to keep the peace.
MY FEARS OF SPAIN did not diminish after the return of Drake—rather naturally they increased. I knew that the Spaniards were my greatest enemy, considered to be invincible on the high seas. I knew that Philip was a fanatic as far as religion was concerned, and I had always felt that fanaticism in religion could bring about the downfall of a monarch. I had long since made up my mind that it should never be so in my case. I could never see why there should be these schisms, these differences. Surely it was enough to be a Christian, which simply meant following the teachings of Christ.
But there were few men or women who would agree with me. Religion was something they took very seriously.
Never far from my thoughts was the Queen of Scots who was still in England. I could never quite make up my mind whether she would have been more of a danger to me free than she was as my prisoner. While she lived there would always be plots about her. She was the Catholic figurehead. I had been constantly warned by men of such differing motives as Robert and Burghley that she should go. I had had my chance at the time of the Ridolfi plot, when the best of excuses had been given to me for bringing about her end. Yet I had shrunk from signing her death warrant.