‘Your mom didn’t have to walk you through seeing a homesteader blown to shit.’ He sighed. ‘And you also had a dad who was around all the time.’
They both fell quiet.
George spoke, slow and kind. ‘Let’s say you did leave. Where would you go? Central space? Sol?’
Tessa gave him a sharp look. ‘George Santoso, if you seriously think I’d raise our children on Mars, we are getting a divorce.’
Her husband guffawed. ‘Well, hey, I didn’t want to presume.’
‘Sol,’ Tessa snorted. ‘I’m not freaking out that much.’ She took another sip of tea. ‘Honestly, I – and this is hypothetical—’
‘Sure.’
‘For the sake of argument.’
‘One hundred percent.’
Tessa chewed the inside of her lip. ‘The independent colonies. We know people who’ve gone there. I keep thinking about Seed.’
George made a thoughtful sound. ‘Where Ammar went.’
‘Yeah.’ Ammar and his husband Nick had lived one hex over until three standards prior, when they’d packed up and headed for ground. Tessa had been friends with him through school, and though they weren’t close, he was the type of person she imagined would be happy to hear about her moving nearby.
Hypothetically.
‘They could definitely put someone with bot-wrangling experience to work in a place like that,’ he said.
‘That they could,’ Tessa said noncommittally. ‘If not cargo, then map drones, or . . .’ She shrugged. ‘I have to learn a new job either way, right?’
‘True,’ George said. ‘I hear it’s kinda rough out there, though. Terraforming’s a long-game deal.’
‘Yeah,’ Tessa said, with a nod. ‘But . . . is it so different from here? It’s not as clean, sure. It’s not as established. They’re still figuring it out. But they have to ration their water and mind their food stores, and . . .’ She shrugged. ‘I don’t know, I think I’d fit much better in a place like that than a city, or . . . a market stop, or something.’
‘Stars, no, I couldn’t see you in a market stop.’
She looked askance at him. ‘But you could see me on Mars?’
‘I didn’t say – you’re not going to let this go, are you?’
‘Never.’ She leaned into him, releasing some of her weight, taking on some of his warmth. ‘But I love it here. I do. I love how we do things, and why we do them. I love Remembrance Day. I love the Bug Fry Festival. I love the gardens. So many people who left, they wanted more. I don’t want more. I’m good with what I have. I don’t need land or . . . or open sky, or whatever. So many people have left for the wrong reasons.’
George pulled in his lips, folding mustache into beard as he thought. ‘Maybe that’s why you should go. Go for the right reasons. Go for the reason the first of us left Earth – to find a better place for your family. Honestly, Tess, you’re the best kind of person to join a colony, because you’d bring all those right reasons with you. You believe in our way of life here? Cool. Implement those ways planetside. Make sure people don’t forget. Make sure people remember that a closed system is a closed system even when you can’t see the edges.’
Tessa said nothing for a while. ‘I don’t want to leave you, either. Or take the kids away.’
‘What makes you think you would?’
She shut her eyes. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. I couldn’t – that is too much to ask.’
‘So . . . what, I’m not allowed to want to do this with you if I think it’s an okay idea?’
Tessa pulled back. ‘I couldn’t ask you to do that.’
George scoffed. ‘I go where my family goes. End of discussion.’
‘You have a job here. You have a life—’
‘I have a skillset I can apply anywhere, and my life is ongoing until the universe says otherwise. I go where you and our kids go. And if you think you can give them a better life on the ground than you can here, then I believe you. You’re with them every day. You spend more time with them than I do. There’s no question in my mind that you know what’s best for them.’ He stroked his beard. ‘And maybe . . . maybe it would be a good thing for me that way, too. Maybe if we found somewhere I could work planetside instead of hopping rocks all the time, maybe I could be a better dad. A better husband, too.’
‘You’re good at both of those.’
‘If you say so. But I’m not an always around kind of guy, am I? I don’t have any regrets about how we’ve been doing things, but it would be nice to . . . I don’t know, not be surprised when Aya’s grown a hand-length since I saw her last.’
‘That’ll surprise you even if you see her every day.’
‘You know what I mean. I’m not saying this is what I want, definitively. I’m saying that if this is what you want . . . I might not be opposed, either.’
‘You can’t put this all on me.’
‘I’m not. I’m asking you if you really – I mean, really, really, really – want to do this. And if you do, then we need to sit down and talk about it.’
Tessa took inventory of their situation. ‘We’re already sitting down and talking.’
George gave her a knowing glance.
Tessa thought about the letters she’d sent, full of cagey phrasing and danced-around ideas. She thought about the nights she’d lain awake, the long hours spent looking down at the stars. She thought about the whisper she’d been trying to ignore, the one that got a little louder every time she read the news, every time she patched up her home, every time she watched her kids. And here was George, calling the whisper out in plain speech, telling her what she already knew.
‘Shit,’ she said. She put her face in her palms. ‘Oh, stars.’
Kip
System log: device unlocked
Node identifier established: 8846-567-11, Kristofer Madaki
Ras (18:62): tek tem dude
Ras (18:62): I know you’re not talking to me or whatever, but I wanted you to know exam scores are out
Feed source: The Human Diaspora Centre for Higher Education Student Portal
Encryption: 0
Translation: 0
Transcription: 0
Password: accepted
Thank you for using the Human Diaspora Centre for Higher Education student portal!
Your most recent exam was: HDCHE entrance qualification exam
Your score was: 803 (out of possible 1000)
Congratulations! You have qualified for admission into any Tier 2 member institution of the HDCHE.
Your options are as follows:
Red Rock University (Spirit’s Rest, Mars)
College of the Rings (Silver Sea City, Titan)
The Jovian School for Future Technicians (Jupiter Station, Jupiter)
The following schools require at least an 875 to attend. Should you wish to attend one of these schools, you will need to retake the entrance qualification exam.
Alexandria University (Florence, Mars)
The Solan Institute of Reconstructive Biology (Hamilton Junction, Luna)
If you accept admission to any of the schools listed here, you will still need to complete placement tests for any given academic track. Some academic degree programmes require an additional qualification test.