Pip flits to me and lands on the grave marker. He warbles a song and preens his feather and takes off. I follow him, weaving my way around the markers around the back of the church until I see Pace and James standing beside a pile of dirt. This is something I never thought I would see, the two of them working together and talking together as friends. They both have their shirts off and their backs glisten with sweat, and dirt is smeared on their faces and arms. Jonah rushes up to them, meowing as he goes and both look up and see me.
“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” James asks. Pace says nothing.
“Yes,” I say. “But some things are more important right at the moment.” Even though I have walked the entire way, I am out of breath and my wound pains me terribly now. I know I am bleeding, I just don’t know how bad it is.
James sticks his shovel upright in the dirt and picks up his shirt, which is hanging on a bush. “I’m glad you survived, Wren,” he says. “I’ll go back and tell everyone we are ready,” he says to Pace. “We will need help getting her down here.”
Pace extends his hand to James. “Thank you for helping me,” he says.
James looks at Pace’s hand and then grasps it in his own. “It was the least I could do,” he replies. James pauses by me, as I have not moved from my spot since James spoke to me. “I was scared when you dropped on us yesterday that I wouldn’t get a chance to say this.” His green eyes are clear and for the first time in all our lives I see his sister and my best friend, Peggy, in them. The innate kindness that she had, and her love of life and everyone she met. “I owe you an apology for how I treated you before. You were right, and you never stopped believing it. Maybe if I had believed it too, so many people wouldn’t have died.”
“James,” I say, and then I don’t know what else to say. He puts his hand on my shoulder and smiles at me, and then with another look at Pace he leaves.
Pace sticks in shovel in the dirt also, picks up his shirt and puts it on without buttoning it. Pip floats down and perches on the shovel handle. Pace comes to where I stand, and I have to concentrate on staying on my feet, as the world seems to be spinning around me. I look up into his beautiful blue eyes and I see the sadness in them.
“I couldn’t save her,” he says.
“I know.”
He looks around, at the sky, at the trees, at the ground, even at Jonah, who is busy stalking something through the high grass. I know he’s not looking at me because he’s trying not to cry. I step closer to him; close enough that I can feel the heat rising from his body. There is a streak of dirt on his cheek, and I touch it with my thumb, smoothing it away. His eyes flit to mine and then away, as if he is shy.
I know why. Because he is not sure where my heart lies. I step closer, sliding my arms around his waist and resting my head beneath his chin, feeling the slick moisture on his chest soaking into my shirt.
Pace raises his arms and wraps them around me.
“I love you, Pace. I want to be with you. Only you.”
And then he weeps.
21
“I should have been there when you woke up,” Pace says. Somehow we wound up on the ground. I don’t know if it was because my legs gave out or because he was crying. I just know that now we now lay curled up together, Pace on his back, me on my side, and we are completely surrounded by the tall grass with a patch of blue sky above us. We might be lying on a grave. I don’t really care at the moment. For the first time since we came out of the dome, I feel a sense of peace, and I don’t want to move because I am afraid if I do, I will lose it.
“And spend all that time just watching me sleep?” I ask. “It doesn’t matter that you weren’t there. All that matters is we are together now.”
“I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost you too,” he says and his arms hug me just a bit tighter.
“You would go on, Pace.” I rise up a bit so I can see his face, even though it is painful to do so. “You’d have to. For me. Just like I would go on if something happened to you. No more dwelling on what has happened for either of us. From now on it has got to be making the most out of the moment that is right in front of us.”
“Because we are still not safe out here.”
“No, we are not. And who knows if we ever will be. After the time I spent with Wulf, I know he will want revenge for our rescue. I know he will not stop until we are all dead.”
“What did happen when you were with him? I have never seen you as frightened as you were when you came back.”
I think about what happened, and I know when Pace hears he will be angry, but I also want him to know what a serious threat Wulf is too all of us. “He planned to buy me from Ragnor. Then he promised me that he would rape me. He pinned me on his bed so I would know he was serious. Then he questioned me about the dome. He thought the Quest and the dome being at war caused the damage. I didn’t bother to tell him differently. I didn’t want him to know that we were the ones they’d fought against for fear of his retaliation against all of us. He threatened to scar me with a hot poker if I didn’t tell him the truth. That is how I got the burn on my cheek. I am just grateful he didn’t ask me about the Quest because I know he would have seen through my lies. Are far as he knew, our first time out of the dome was that day.”
“The next time I see him I will kill him,” Pace says simply, yet it surprises me. I know he will fight when needed, but I have never heard him say anything so violent. I lower my head once more to his shoulder and trace a lazy pattern on his stomach with my finger. “Did they tell you about Zan?” he asks.
“I think she’s a prisoner of my father.” I explain to him my reasoning behind this, and Pace agrees with my conclusion.
“So we’ll be going back into the dome,” he says. “But this time, it will be with a show of force.”
“With Dr. Stewart’s tank?”
“It has a battering ram you know.”
“To break the glass.”
“To break the glass,” he echoes. “I hope he marches it right down the promenade.”
“Pace,” I say. “I need to ask you something, and I want an honest answer.”
“I’ve always been honest with you, Wren.”
“Do you think the reason I am doing all this is to gain favor with my father?”
“What?” he spouts indignantly. “Whatever made you think that?”
“Levi said it. He said I’m trying to get my father’s approval and that’s why I keep putting myself in dangerous situations, because I need his attention.” Those weren’t Levi’s exact words, but it is the intent I got from his comment.
“This all started way before you knew who your father was. Finding out he is Sir Meredith is just a coincidence, nothing more. You would be fighting this battle no matter who was in charge. That’s how passionately you believe in what you are doing. The fact that Sir Meredith is in charge is what saved our lives when we surrendered, which was genius on your part.” I feel him move his head so he can see my face, and I twist mine to look up at him. “What did you do when he said that?”
“Punched him in the face.”
Pace laughs and it is such a joyous noise that I can’t help but grin. “I would love to have seen that.” His laughter brings Jonah and Pip both over to investigate. Pip lands on a grave marker and Jonah stretches on his back legs to sniff at the bright yellow canary. Pace smiles at our friends and then he shifts, bringing us both to a sitting position. “Is that what made you make up your mind between me and Levi?”