“Yeah, but he’s an asshole.”
She snorted. “No arguments there.”
Joel reached for her hand. “We could do this. We can make sure it’s crystal clear it’s just you and me involved, and frankly…”
He trickled to a stop. Vicki’s body language was all tied up tight, and she wasn’t giving an inch yet. She’d been honest with him about her fears? Maybe she needed a little reciprocated honesty.
“In a way, you’d be doing me a favour. You know that reputation you’re worried about? Jesse’s and mine?”
Lord, the faces this woman could pull.
“If you two were women you’d have been painted as harlots ages ago. Instead you’re held up as sexual heroes.”
“I know, it’s damn unfair, but honestly I’m getting tired of it. It’s time to get this town to see me and Jesse in a different light, and you and I dating would help a lot.”
Vicki stepped back a pace, freeing her hand, her alert gaze looking him over. “And Jesse’s going to simply agree with you? Because if he fucks around, it won’t help either of our situations.”
“I’ll take care of Jesse.” Confidence was rising. “Not a problem.”
“And you’ll help me get over being afraid of horses?”
“I’ll give it a shot.”
Vicki stared out over the water for a minute. “We’re both crazy, but it might work. You’re right. I shouldn’t give a damn what the town thinks, especially if I’m leaving, but I still do. I want what I shouldn’t bother wanting.”
“You’re not your family. You’ve got every right to change the things you don’t like about your life.”
God, listen to him. He was still finding his own way and now he was giving out advice?
When she turned, some of the bounce was back, a touch of the anger, but now, something else as well. He waited for her to share whatever was going on in that intriguing mind.
Vicki stepped in close.
“You’re right. It’s time to get moving forward with my life. So what do I want?” She took a deep breath as if gathering her courage. Then she held up one finger. “I want you to teach me to deal with the bloody horses.”
Joel grinned as he dipped his head in acknowledgement.
A second finger rose. “I want people to stop talking about me like everything my family does is etched on my back simply because we share a name. If you’re brave enough to try and help me fight that bullshit, I’d be damn grateful.”
“Deal.” A trickle of pride in doing something honourable—doing something that could make a difference in a person’s life—struck again. Even though he’d get some benefit down the road, it was going to take some energy to accomplish this.
He was ready for the challenge.
Then she caught hold of his shirt and leaned in. “And just so you know, that girlfriend thing? I’ve never been anyone’s girlfriend before.”
Both her actions and her words made something inside tighten as he fought to understand. “You’ve never had a steady boyfriend?”
She moved in close enough their lips were nearly touching as she whispered the words. “I’ve never had a boyfriend, period. I want to learn all there is about being a girlfriend, Joel. Everything. And I want you to teach me.”
Chapter Four
Joel’s brain wasn’t working properly. Even skimming through what he knew, her words didn’t make sense. “Vicki…”
She released him and backed up. “Great, I did that well, didn’t I?”
He grabbed her wrist before she could run away. “Would you slow the hell down? And explain a little better? I’m just…what do you mean no boyfriends?”
Vicki heaved out a huge body-shaking sigh. “Okay, I did have one boyfriend. Back in fifth grade, Danny Webster gave me a Valentine’s card that said ‘Will you be mine?’ For three days straight we sat on the swings during lunch and talked. I figured he was working his way up to stealing a kiss by Friday or something. Only my older sister Sarah got in trouble, and Danny’s parents said I wasn’t a nice girl to spend time with, so he dumped me the following day.”
Grade five? She was going back to grade five to find a guy she’d been interested in? He was sure there’d been another huge blow-up just a couple years ago.
“But you went out with Eric Tell in high school.”
Her lips pressed together into a tight line. “Now we’re back to secrets, and I’m not ready to share that one. I know from watching people what a girlfriend does, yet I’ve never done it, okay? And before I get the hell out of this godforsaken town I want to experience them at least once. The little things. And the big things.”
She caught his gaze, the dark honey gold in her brown eyes seeming brighter than ever. “I’m trusting you with a lot, Joel Coleman. Please don’t let me down by talking out of turn.”
Then as if she couldn’t maintain eye contact, she stared at his fingers. He wasn’t sure when he’d begun to rub his thumb over the inside of her wrist. It had started without thinking, her soft skin drawing him. He’d love to take that stroking touch and slip up to the inside of her elbow, teasing her along the way with delicate kisses.
“I can keep a secret,” he reassured her. Being her boyfriend wasn’t going to be a sacrifice at all, but holy shit— “Little things like…?”
“I’ve never held hands with a guy,” Vicki whispered, trying to tug her hand free. “I’ve never been kissed.”
Sweet mercy. Joel’s pulse picked up. “And the big things?”
He had a good idea by now, no matter how impossible it seemed.
Vicki lowered her chin and looked him in the eye as she spoke. “I’m a virgin. In everything. So if you’re up for the challenge, go ahead, teach me to ride.”
The response of “you’re fucking kidding me” wasn’t the right one, but damn, he’d never been so tongue-tied in his life. Her wrist slipped from his fingers, and she moved away, staring down the ravine at the creek.
Silence stretched between them, different this time than before. It wasn’t him patiently waiting for her to gather her courage. This time there was anticipation along with the discomfort.
The discussion had totally not gone where he’d expected, and all his images of being a knight in shining armor and helping her redeem her name were buried under a sea of holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck…
Her being a virgin was impossible, and yet why would she lie? And she wasn’t lying, not that he could tell.
“I’m trying to absorb this, okay?” Joel spoke softly, like he would around skittish horses—ironic, that. He didn’t want to scare her off, but he needed time to process the information. “I’m totally going to work with you on the horse thing, and dealing with your fears will require us to at least pretend to date each other. All of that, I’m good with. I’ll do it.”
He stood and walked to her side. Vicki had crossed her arms over her chest and she wasn’t bouncing anymore. Just standing, motionless.
It was awkward, towering over her. He shifted uneasily on his feet before pulling her back toward the bench. “Sit, I want to ask you something.”
She went willingly enough, curling up on one side of the sturdy bench and drawing her legs to her chest. She wrapped her arms around them and rested her chin on her knees. “I kind of blew your mind, didn’t I?”
He nodded. “I won’t push for the secrets right now, but…holy shit, yeah. I want to ask you something.”
She lifted her head and waited.