“Well, I’m not hurting anyone either,” Hailey said, straightening. She smiled. “And we’re all mature consenting adults making adult movies. And I don’t feel demeaned by it. So what’s the problem?”
“Mom and Dad would die if they knew.”
Hailey’s eyes narrowed and her gaze zoomed in on Kassidy. But she gave a negligent shrug. “You won’t tell them.”
Kassidy stared back at her and lifted her chin. “What makes you think that?”
Hailey laughed. “I don’t actually give a shit if they find out. But I know you won’t tell them because you’re such a soft-hearted little angel. You wouldn’t want to hurt them.”
Kassidy gritted her teeth. “Fine. I won’t tell them about you if you won’t tell them about me.”
Hailey rolled her eyes. “God, are we five years old again?” And she turned and walked out of the kitchen, back onto the deck.
She couldn’t go back out there. Her whole body was shaking, her stomach hurting, her chest squeezing. She closed her eyes and set her elbows on the counter, rested her head in her hands.
Maybe she was making too big a deal of this. It just seemed so…awful, what Hailey was doing. Whereas she…what she was doing was…not. It wasn’t.
Who was she to judge her? She couldn’t judge anyone for choices they made. Much as she tried to defend what she and Chris and Dag were doing, most people would think it was wrong. Sinful. Depraved.
But she didn’t care and she supposed she could understand that Hailey felt the same way.
“Hey.” She felt a gentle hand on her back. Dag’s voice stroked over her. “You okay?”
“Yes.” She straightened, pushed her hair back and smiled at him, although her lips felt tight. “I’m fine.”
“Hailey’s gone. She decided she couldn’t stay for dinner after all.”
“Shit.” Hailey’d finally shown up at a family event and Kassidy had ruined it. Tears stung her eyes and she blinked rapidly. “That probably hurt Mom and Dad’s feelings.”
“Yeah, a little, I think.”
He studied her, and the concern she saw there told her one important thing—Dag cared for her too.
Chapter Sixteen
“You can’t use that objectivist crap to justify porn.”
They walked into the condo, continuing the heated discussion that had started on the way home in the car.
Dag laughed. “What? You can’t see that porn is a form of art?”
“Art! Well, okay, some of it might be. But really, it has to have some kind of artistic value.”
“The debate of art versus porn wages on,” Chris said, dropping car keys to the small console table inside the door. “We could argue this for hours. I have a better idea.”
Dag looked at Chris and caught the evil glint in his eye just as Kassidy did too and she burst out laughing. “We’re not making our own porn movie.”
He caught her around the waist and nuzzled her neck. “Aw, why not?”
“I know you’re worried about your sister, Kassidy, but she’s a big girl,” Dag said.
“I know.” Kassidy sighed. “I just wish… Oh never mind.”
“What, sweetheart?” Chris followed her into the living room.
“Yeah, what?” Dag reached out and ran a hand down her hair. He’d longed to touch her all evening, wanting to make her feel better about what had happened, but his role in that family setting was extremely ambiguous.
“I just wish I had a different relationship with my sister. I’ve always wished Hailey and I could be friends.”
“You aren’t necessarily friends with someone just because you’re related,” Dag murmured.
She turned her eyes up to him. “Is that part of the objectivist philosophy too?”
“Yeah. Sort of. We develop relationships with people we share values with—common interests in things like sports, art, music, philosophical outlooks, political beliefs. That includes our families.”
“I always believed you may not like your family, but you have to love them. Because they’re family.”
“Do you feel guilty because you don’t love Hailey?”
A long heavy silence filled the room, and Dag saw that Chris was listening intently too, waiting. “I do love her,” she said finally. “She’s my sister. But I do feel guilty for not liking her.” She put a hand to her mouth. “I do.”
“Don’t.” Dag slid his arms around her and pulled her against him in a warm hug that felt so damn good. “Don’t feel guilty. Think about it rationally. Just because you’re related to her doesn’t mean you have anything in common besides the fact that you’re sisters.”
“That’s kind of sad, though,” she said, peering up at him. “Is that how you feel about your family?”
“That’s how I had to feel about my family,” he said grimly, his mouth tightening. “For me to survive, I had to believe that. Because I hate my family.”
“Oh Dag. That can’t be true.”
“It’s true.” He glanced at Chris. He’d talked to Chris about his family, only once, years ago, when they were getting to know each other, and Chris had known that topic was off limits ever since. But Kassidy didn’t know. “My dad disappeared when I was a baby. My mom was an alcoholic who cared more about getting her next drink and getting another man than she did about me.”
Her eyes filled with pain and sorrow. He closed his own against the sight. He hated pity. “Don’t feel sorry for me,” he said, voice gritty. He opened his eyes and smiled down at her. “I’m fine. I made it. I’m only telling you this so you’ll understand and not feel guilty about your feelings for Hailey. If you’re going to love someone, it’s gonna be the people you choose to be family. Like…like…Chris.” His voice faltered on the last words, and tension in the room thickened as all three became painfully aware once again of the unique nature of their relationship. That it was her and Chris who had the relationship, not him. “You choose your partner, your spouse. That’s who you love,” he finished, still smiling, his chest still aching.
“I understand that.” She laid a hand on his cheek and smiled at him. Her bottom lip trembled and she looked as if she wanted to say something but hesitated. “Dag…” He didn’t want to go where her mind might be heading, so he bent and gave her lips a quick kiss.
A kiss that quickly turned heated. Chris joined them, close up against Kassidy’s backside, pulling her hair aside and laying his mouth on the bare skin of her shoulder, moving the tiny strap aside and kissing her there.
“Even though I don’t understand this,” Kassidy whispered. “Even though I suspect it’s very, very wrong…can I tell you guys how lucky I feel to have both of you in my life?”
Dag’s gut clenched. Amazing–that was exactly how he felt about Chris and Kassidy, the feelings that had swamped him earlier at her parents’ home.
“It’s not wrong,” he replied, sliding his mouth over her soft cheek. “Sex promotes happiness. That’s our goal–to be happy, right?”
Kassidy gave a delicate little snort even as her head fell back to allow both men access to her throat and shoulders. “More objectivism?”
He smiled against her jaw. “Yeah. Sex isn’t just physical pleasure. It’s a celebration of existence.” And an expression of love, but he stopped himself from saying those words aloud. “Celebrating life is essential to happiness. So, it’s moral to make choices that allow that celebration and immoral to deny it. We’re celebrating life.”