Kassidy’s heart clenched as she understood in a flash how he was feeling and some of her own doubts and fears faded away with her desire to reassure him. “Oh Dag. Apparently we’re not just a couple anymore. We’re a…threesome. All of us.”
He nodded, still looking unsure. She lifted a hand and laid it on his cheek. “Chris told you,” she said softly. “I care about you too, Dag. I don’t understand it myself. I love Chris so much and I don’t want to lose him, but I feel like I’m...” She hesitated. No. No more dancing around it. “I’m in love with you too.”
He covered her hand with his and met her eyes again, uncertainty fading into a blaze of emotion in his eyes. He shifted her hand so he could kiss her palm.
“I know how it feels,” he said hoarsely. “Because I feel the same. Loving two people–it’s kind of crazy.”
“I know. But you just said it. More love can never be a bad thing, right?”
“Right. I just think we need to talk about how this will all work.”
“Okay.” She shifted and sat back on the couch, nestled between them. “Let’s talk.”
“Okay. So I move in here and live with the two of you. What will you tell people?” Dag asked
She nibbled her bottom lip. Good question.
Chris groaned. “We can’t tell people. Jesus.”
Dag shot him a look. “You know I don’t give a shit what people think.”
“Dag, man, think about it,” Chris said. “You may think I worry too much about that, about following the rules, about appearances. But it’s not just me…it’s Kassidy too. We work for a big company, people talk.” He paused. “I can’t jeopardize my job. My career.”
Kassidy could just imagine the grapevine at work going berserk with this kind of story. Nice little Kassidy Langdon shacked up with two guys…one of the guys is her boyfriend, and the other is her boyfriend’s boyfriend. And what would they say about Chris? She groaned. “Maybe we just don’t tell them anything. Maybe it’s just our business what happens here in our home.”
The three of them exchanged glances. Dag might be a rebel on the outside, but inside–he wanted what everyone wants. And she and Chris–well, they weren’t rebels, despite this crazy thing they were contemplating. Would Dag understand that?
“They’ll know Dag’s living here,” Chris said.
“Yes. I don’t intend to hide that. But…” She paused. “We don’t have to explain everything.”
“Think about this,” Dag said quietly. “If one of us was hurt, who would be next of kin? You two have a relationship, even if you’re not married. What am I?”
Kassidy licked her lips, a heavy feeling settling over her as she remembered rushing into the ER when her mom had been hurt. They would only let family in to see her. “I don’t know, Dag. But if something like that happened, I’d tell the truth, if it meant not being able to see you if you were hurt, or look after you.”
He nodded and they both looked at Chris. He grimaced and rubbed his face. She sensed the struggle inside him, how much he wanted this, how much he cared for both her and Dag, and yet how he’d been denying his feelings for Dag for so long, now it was hard to admit them. Chris leveled a look at Dag then tipped his head back.
Kassidy sank her teeth into her bottom lip, slanted a look at Dag who waited too for Chris’s response.
“Oh man,” Chris groaned. “Yeah. I’d do the same.”
Kassidy leaned her head into Chris’s shoulder at his words, feeling a little of the tension ease out of Dag’s body pressed against her other side.
“And think about this,” Dag said. “What about children?”
Her eyes flew open wide. “Well, that’s jumping the gun a little.”
“You guys haven’t talked about that? Marriage? Kids?”
She bit her lip and looked at Chris. Of course she’d thought that moving in together was a prelude to marriage. She loved Chris with all her heart and didn’t want to spend her life with anyone else. Well, anyone but Dag. Oh hell, this did complicate things.
“We haven’t really,” Chris said. “But I know you, Kassidy. I know you want marriage. And kids.”
She slid her gaze back and forth between them then nodded. “Yes. I do.” She didn’t want to be a mother yet. But some day, she definitely wanted that. She wanted to have Chris’s baby. And her stomach flipped at the realization that–holy shit–she could see herself having Dag’s baby too. She pressed a hand to her stomach and closed her eyes.
“Yeah,” she whispered. “You’re right, Dag. This is complicated.”
Her mind spun for a moment, trying to envision the future for them. Were they really in this for the long term? Were they really talking about a lifetime commitment and children? How could they raise children in a family like that? Maybe she couldn’t do this. Maybe they were insane for even thinking about it.
But the alternative made her heart hurt and her skin go cold. She opened her eyes. “I don’t know the answers,” she said, voice shaky. “Yes, I want children some day. Are we really talking that far ahead though? Do you guys want kids?”
They both got an identical panicked expression on their faces that maybe should have scared her, but instead amused her and reassured her. She smiled. “You don’t need to look so terrified.”
Dag made a choked noise. “I am terrified,” he said. “Fuck. Commitment? The idea of committing to one person has always freaked me out, never mind two. Talking about having kids? Jesus Christ.”
“You brought it up!”
“I know, I know.”
“I don’t mean having a baby tomorrow,” she said. “Okay, look. Chris and I moved in together. We’ve never really talked about the specifics of getting married or having kids. I think…” She met Chris’s eyes. “I think you want kids some day.” He slowly nodded. “But we were willing to make the commitment of living together without knowing that. This isn’t really that different. We take things one step at a time, right?” She turned to Dag.
He too nodded. “What about your families?” he asked.
She frowned. “What about them?”
“What will you tell them?”
She’d been so freaked out about her parents knowing what she, Chris and Dag were doing, and now here they were discussing making this a permanent arrangement. “We don’t have to tell them. They like you. Maybe after a while, when you’re even more a part of my family, we can sort of…break it to them…”
He nodded, his eyes full of emotion. “Yeah. That could work.”
“No.” Chris spoke up.
She and Dag both swiveled their heads to look at him.
He shook his head. “No,” he said again. “We have to tell them.”
Her breath stuck in her chest. “Chris…”
“My family’s not such an issue,” he said. “They live far away. But I’ll tell them.” His jaw tightened and she could only imagine the guts that would take. Her heart swelled with love for him. “I’ll tell them if they’re coming to visit, or if we go see them.” He met Dag’s eyes. “It’s not fair to you to sneak around and deny your relationship with us.”
Dag’s eyes got very shiny. He reached over and grabbed Chris’s hand in a tight grip.
“People at work are one thing,” Chris continued. “We don’t need to announce anything and it’s our own business. But family…and friends…need to know the truth.” He sucked in a breath. “I know you don’t want to disappoint them, Kass. I know you’ve always been their angel. But they’ll still love you. They might have a hard time understanding at first, but they love you.”
“Christ, man,” Dag said hoarsely. “You’re killing me here.”
A smile flickered on Chris’s lips.
“But Kassidy’s right,” Dag said. “Maybe we should just wait until I’ve been around longer, and ease them into it.”