We had not been able to warn my parents of our coming, and I shall never forget the moment when we rode into the courtyard. There was shouting and tumult throughout the house. There were my mother and father embracing first me and then the children; and that agonizing moment when they looked round for Angelet.
It was terrible to have to tell them. I feared my mother would never get over it. Secretly I believed that the balance of her affection had always tipped in Angelet’s favour, but that was because she was the complete mother and her concern went to the one she instinctively knew was in greater need of her protection.
I signed to Phoebe and she came forward and put young Dickon into my mother’s arms; and I believe then that some- thing happened to soothe the pain.
The child was hers from that moment. She was going to rear him, nurture him, make him strong and healthy, and she declared that he had a look of her beloved Angelet.
So I returned to Trystan Priory.
What happened is common knowledge.
There was the defeat at Naseby when the King lost half his army.
The news came slowly to Cornwall, but we knew in spite of our loyalty the Royalist cause was lost. The Parliament was demanding the control of the militia and the establishment of Presbyterianism throughout England, and when this was refused the King became a fugitive and took refuge in the Isle of Wight. He was seized at Carisbrooke and brought to London.
There came that sad January day in the year 1649 when our King was executed on the scaffold in front of the Banqueting House in Whitehall.
‘Nothing will ever be the same again,’ said my father.
Indeed everything was different. We must dress with sombre propriety; we must go regularly to church; we must all conform to the standard set to us.
Grandfather Casvellyn, who was a very old man, had shouted his wrath with such vehemence that he had been seized with apoplexy and died. So life at Castle Paling was very different too. The girls had married, but Bastian had not.
As soon as he had known that I was home he had come riding to Trystan. Since then he has asked me to marry him on three occasions. On each one I have refused, but I have a notion that one day I might accept.
My mother wished me to. The children needed a father, she believed. It was becoming a new, rather drab world, and a family could be a great comfort. I knew that Trystan was home for as long as I wanted, but I believe she secretly hoped I would become mistress of Castle Paling.
She would miss me. We used to sit in the evenings and talk about the days when Angelet and I were children. ‘You are so like her,’ she said, ‘that sometimes I feel that she lives on in you.’
Phoebe was courted by Jim Stallick who looked after the Priory horses; she married him but still continued to work for me, and I was glad to see her happy again.
It was a year after the death of the King. The war was not completely over for the new King, Charles II, had come from the Continent to Scotland and was trying to raise his standard. But Cromwell was too strong and the Royalists had little hope.
I was in the garden one day when a traveller came to the Priory.
He had asked for me, and one of the servants brought him out to the garden. I took one look at him and knew.
Richard!
He had aged. How many years was it since I had seen him? Six … seven … seven hard years of hiding, secret planning … escaping from his enemies.
He took my hands and looked at me.
He said, ‘I went to Flamstead. They told me you were here.’
‘Are you well? You look exhausted.’
‘I have ridden far,’ he said.
‘Then you must come into the house.’
‘It is not safe for you to entertain a fugitive from the King’s army.’
‘You would always find refuge here.’
He shook his head. ‘I could not allow you to endanger yourself and your family. The news is bad. The King has been defeated and forced to flee the country. We must all go … and plan from some place other than England. We shall not rest until Charles II is on the throne. I am going across the sea to plan for that day.’
‘You must come in. You need food … and rest.’
He said: ‘What I need is a boat that will take me to France.’
‘So you have come only to go away again.’
‘I came to see you.’
‘They told you what had happened at Flamstead?’
He nodded.
‘Your beautiful house …’ I said.
‘But you were safe. I have come to ask you something. Perhaps it is too much. It could be dangerous.’
I said, ‘Life is dull here. I hate the Puritan rule. I have realized that I am an ardent Royalist.’
‘It will not be easy in France.’
‘No?’ I said excitedly. ‘But there would be a cause … something to fight for … I should have to bring the children … Arabella and Lucas. Dickon must stay with my mother. She would never let him go.’
‘Bersaba,’ he said, ‘you are the one thing in this world that hasn’t changed.’
I took his hands and looked into his face.
‘I always knew what I wanted,’ I said. ‘It is as though the world has started to turn again.’
‘Then,’ he said, ‘you will come with me?’
‘I’m surprised that you ask questions to which you know the answer. That’s not like you.’
‘I couldn’t believe it. I thought you might have changed.’
‘Never,’ I said. ‘Never.’
We were married in the church yesterday. My father was able to provide us with a boat. We are going to sail tomorrow with the tide. I, Arabella, Lucas and Richard. This is my last night in Trystan Priory, and I write here in the room I once shared with Angelet, and as I write I feel she is standing over me and that she is content.
I look out across the scene so familiar to me during my childhood. Somewhere beyond is the sea, and tomorrow before it is light I, with my husband and children, will cross to France and there we will build a new future.