"No, he doesn't," I said. "He wasn't involved in any movement during the sixties except moving out of the way of bullets, trying not to get his ass shot off in Vietnam."
Howard nodded like that explained some things. "He knows about guns, I presume?"
"Yeah, got a medal or two in Vietnam. But on the negative side he's a little weak on the social graces and Bob Dylan lyrics, and I've caught him in a few mistakes when we're discussing the ballet and the history of Marxism."
"I don't get the impression you're all that interested in reviving the spirit of the sixties, either," Howard said.
"Can't imagine why you thought I might be. Well, I can imagine, but whatever Trudy's told you about me, that's in the past. This sixties talk is embarrassing. You sound like a first-year college guy who's just gotten away from mom and dad and discovered weed and liberal politics."
"The sixties were a positive time, a good time," Howard said.
"Some of it was. Some of it wasn't. But that was the sixties. I'm happily selfish now. I'm in this for money and money alone. Besides, sounds to me like you're trying to justify theft with sixties rhetoric, and you're too goddamn secretive for my taste. You sound like more illegal stuff than I've agreed to, and I don't want to hear about it. I'm not going to prison for some idealistic rush. This idealism crap has got me nowhere but tired and broke and cut to the bone. Money I can spend, and might get away with.
"I can take it and go someplace warm with cheap whiskey and loose women." I looked at Trudy. "Women that want nothing more than hot, sticky sex down Mexico way or on some tropical island where you can run around with your ass hanging out and your dick slapping your thigh, and nobody asks you to do anything but mind your own business. You people fight the good fight, whatever it is, because you're going to have to do it without us."
Paco grinned, got out a cigarette pack, lipped a smoke and lit it with a cheap lighter.
"Don't make us breathe your bad air," Howard said.
"Screw you," Paco said. He blew smoke across the room.
Normally I'd be on Howard's side, but I enjoyed seeing him irritated. I almost asked Paco for a cigarette.
Howard sighed, looked at Trudy sadly; he was a smart, hip guy dealing with a bunch of nincompoops. What could he do?
"Anytime change is encouraged," Chub said, "there's always someone who argues for the status quo, or decides to run off and take it easy, concludes mat the best and simplest way—"
Paco reached over and slapped Chub on top of the head with his fingers.
"Damn you," Chub said. "That was childish, Paco. You're frustrated about something, you should discuss it, not resort to—"
Paco slapped Chub again, this time with the palm of his hand, said, "Shut up, will you, Chub?"
"Whose side you on, Paco?" Howard asked.
"Yeah," Chub said, rubbing his head.
"I'm not choosing up," Paco said. "I'm tired of Chub's bullshit is all. He keeps talking like he's done some things. Hell, leave Hap alone. He isn't interested. Let him and Leonard do their job, then let's do what we're gonna do. They couldn't care less. If they want it that way, let's leave it that way. You guys are starting to sound like evangelists, and I hate those fuckers."
"Amen." It was Leonard back from the bathroom.
"You look refreshed," I said. "Hope you struck some matches."
"About four. It was a championship shit."
"I can see this isn't going anywhere," Chub said. "So I think I'll withdraw until we're willing to converse sensibly."
"Telling it like we see it," Leonard said. "Isn't that what you like, Chubby?"
"I don't need this," Chub said. He got up and went through the hallway door.
"I hate it when he leaves the room," Leonard said. "He makes things so damn bright when he's around. But since he's gone, I'm going outside to smoke."
"Thanks for not cluttering up the air," Howard said, and he looked at Paco.
Paco put a smile on his ugly face and kept smoking.
Leonard said, "It's not your air I'm worried about. It's mine. This place has a rot smell under all that fucking incense. Smelled enough of that in Vietnam. The rot and the incense."
Leonard went outside.
"Think I'll join him," Paco said, and he got up and went out and closed the door.
"Me too," I said, and got up and started after Paco.
"Hap," Trudy said. "We got to talk."
God had spoken. "Do we?" I said.
"I told you you shouldn't have done this," Howard said to Trudy.
"You don't know everything," Trudy said, and stood up.
"I know this," Howard said. "I know this isn't a good idea at all. You're thinking maybe with some other part of your body."
"That's rich, coming from you," Trudy said. "I've seen how you think."
"How you make me think."
"Children," I said. "Let's not fight."
Howard stood up, held his beer in my direction. "I got something to say to you, big shot."
"Say it, then," I said. "While I'm used to the drone of your voice. I'd rather not get acclimated again."
"You think you can come in here and run things," he said, "be a goddamn comedian. But you're wrong."
"I'm not trying to run anything. I just don't want to be ran."
"We got some scruples here. Idealism may strike you as dumb, or sissy, or childish, or nostalgic, but there's more to it than that. There's more to us than that."
"I'm sure history will be kind to you," I said. "Howard gave his stolen money to the whales. He was a good guy. Hap gave his to wine and heat and women. He was a bad guy. Leonard bought all the Hank Williams originals he could find. He was a bad guy."
"What's with the whales?" Howard said. "No one's said a thing about any whales."
"Shut up," Trudy said. "You're drunk."
"Only had a beer," he said.
"The smell of rubbing alcohol makes you silly," she said.
"Look, Howard," I said, "I'm not trying to cause any trouble here. You think maybe I'm trying to take Trudy—"
"She's her own person," Howard said.
"Yeah, but you don't like the fact that I've been fucking her again, do you?"
"Hap," Trudy said. "Don't."
"You know I have," I said. "You think she came over to my place and merely talked some business? We banged each other till our eyes bugged out."
"Like Howard said, Hap, he doesn't own me. And neither do you."
"And I'm damn proud of it," I said.
What Howard thought he knew, he was now certain he knew. In theory it was okay, but in actuality it got under his skin like a chigger.
"It doesn't matter," Howard said, but his voice lacked conviction. "She's a grown woman. I've got no strings on her."
"But she's got them on you," I said. "And I should know. They used to go all the way through me and fasten to the bones. I got maybe a few still tied in me. Enough that I'm acting horsey here when I shouldn't, and it's making you do the same."
"I'm saying you're not coming in here and changing what we believe, what we're going to do. That's all. I'm not saying anything about me and Trudy or you and Trudy."
"I think you're saying plenty about just that. You open your mouth and your heart and dick talk over you. Like I said, I'm one to know."
"You don't know anything," Howard said. "You and that other guy, you think you know all there is to know, but you don't know a thing."
"Let's leave it," I said. "I don't want to hear any more. So it isn't the whales. Do what you got to do for people and animals and nuclear disarmament, and give my regards to the boys in Leavenworth."
"To hell with you, pilgrim," Howard said. He moved around the coffee table, staggered slightly. That bit of alcohol really had got to him. Or maybe it was the capper to some he drank earlier. Had I been in his place, knowing Trudy was supposed to be with me but was off with one of her ex-husbands for a few days, I'd have took to drinking too. At one point I had.
He came around the coffee table and put his hand out and pushed me hard in the chest, but he made the mistake of not pulling back fast enough, and I put my hand over the back of his, trapped it to my chest and bent forward. It sent Howard to his knees. It was a playground trick, but heck, he started it.