‘Why do we pray to the gods?’
I rub my eyes; I’m too tired to be having this discussion now. The black sky above is softening to an imperial purple.
But Constantine’s waiting for an answer. ‘To avoid bad fortune?’
‘Exactly.’ It’s what he wanted me to say. ‘But perhaps we should expect more from our gods. They’re gods, after all.’
‘They’re jealous, adulterous, murderous – parricidal, fratricidal, infanticidal – and have a strange taste for bestiality.’
‘Old gods.’ He dismisses them the same way we dismiss old men. ‘You know there was a Greek philosopher, I’ve forgotten his name, who said the old gods were just stories – real men, whose legends got exaggerated over generations until we thought they must have been gods.’
I touch the iron amulet I wear around my neck, my lucky charm to ward off evil.
‘For the last fifty years our rulers behaved like those old gods and almost lost the empire. We need to look beyond. A higher god.’
‘Change begins at the top.’
‘The old gods are lords of darkness. We ought to worship a god of light. A single god for a single world.’ He plucks a berry from the holly tree and squeezes it between his fingers. It looks as though he’s pricked himself. ‘The light came into the world and the darkness could not comprehend it.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Something I heard in the mess.’ He sounds far away. ‘Wherever you are in the empire, you look up and you see the sun and know that he’s with you. Warming your back, ripening your crops, lighting your way. Even in the dead of winter, it returns. Unconquerable light.’
He turns to the east, arms outstretched. A dull glow glimmers on the horizon. But for the moment, the sun stays down, and the world’s in darkness.
I wonder why I have this memory. Not because it mattered later. It doesn’t say so in Alexander’s Chronicon, but historians who are free to write after he’s gone will record that Constantine’s contribution to the defence of the empire was to weaken its borders. He pulled the field army back and concentrated it deep in the empire, leaving auxiliaries and local levies to patrol the frontiers. As the frontier populations mingle freely, half the people they were supposed to keep out were their own relations.
Like letting the hull of the boat rot, and hoping you’ve got enough buckets to bail you out, said a friend who worked in Levantine shipping.
But the memory persists. Constantine, waiting for the dawn with dewy eyes, determined to find something better over the horizon and convinced he’ll get there.
I blink. Someone’s coming up the street towards me, a stout old man with the hood of his cloak raised against the evening breeze. He sees me, pauses, pulls back the hood to reveal white hair tufted around a bald scalp. It’s Aurelius Symmachus.
‘What are you doing here?’
‘Walking.’ His eyes go over me. ‘More than you’re doing.’
‘I’m waiting for someone.’
‘And still waiting to find out who killed Bishop Alexander? The Augustus will be getting impatient.’
I’m only half listening to him, wondering why he’s here. Is he the man I’m supposed to meet? He’s certainly not acting as if he expected to run into me.
‘Have you spoken with the Christians?’ he demands.
‘They suggested I speak to you. Your friend Porfyrius, in particular, had some very interesting stories about the persecutions.’
Symmachus rolls his eyes. ‘There’s nothing a Christian loves better than telling you about his own past misdeeds. It lets him think he’s improved himself.’
I don’t disagree – but I’m surprised to hear him say it. ‘I thought Porfyrius was your friend.’
‘He was my guest. When you get to my age, you don’t bother with the fictions of friendship.’
Again, I don’t disagree.
‘Do you know what I believe in?’ Symmachus asks unprompted. ‘Rome. Diocletian didn’t persecute the Christians out of spite. He wanted to heal the empire – to end the divisions that had ruined so many emperors and let in the barbarians. He thought if he could unite Rome under a common faith, he’d save the empire. Constantine has the same agenda and a different god. That’s all.’
Again, I remember that winter’s morning with Constantine.
‘Constantine believes in a unifying god,’ I agree. ‘But he doesn’t try to compel piety with hot irons and the rack.’
‘I suppose you think that makes him more devout.’
He swings his stick and hobbles away, surprisingly fast. Six paces on, he turns back.
‘Think about Alexander,’ he warns me. ‘Whatever they say about love and peace, every religion needs its blood sacrifice.’
Ten paces more and he’s vanished. In all the time we’ve been talking, I’ve been watching the statue behind him for anyone loitering there. Now I can hardly see it: night’s falling fast.
But not so fast that I miss him. A tall, thin figure – not much more than a shadow among shadows – strides out of the gloom to the statue. He pauses, bends as if to fix the strap of his sandal, then walks on.
A new shape’s appeared in the darkness. I can see the squat outline of a box or a case sitting on the step next to the statue. I hurry down and pick it up.
It’s a document case, a leather box with brass bindings. The cheeks bulge; when I lift it, I can feel the weight inside. My finger traces the Greek letters carved into the ivory handle.
ALEXANDROS.
The man who left the case has almost vanished between two tenements – but there’s a cluster of lights at the end of the alley where votive lamps burn in front of a small shrine. For a moment, he’s silhouetted against the dappled firelight like a monster emerging from its cave. Tall and spindly, long legs and a short tunic.
He turns left and disappears.
I hurry after him – as best I can, with old legs and the case weighing on my arm. Down to the shrine and left, up the hill. It should be dark, but it isn’t: even at night, the city seems to glow with the brightness of its own existence. But if I can see him …
Struggling to keep up, my footsteps ring loud on the pavement. The man ahead looks back and sees me. For another few yards he tries to wish me away, or pretend he hasn’t noticed. Then he checks again, sees the case in my hand and loses all doubt. He breaks into a run.
I can’t go much faster, certainly not carrying the bag. Should I drop it? Even if I did, I probably couldn’t catch him. He’s almost at the top of the hill now, and once he crosses the main road he can disappear into the warren of streets in the old town and be lost for good.
A thin figure in a white tunic sprints past me. He looks familiar, though I can’t see enough to be sure. The man ahead sees him and seems to panic. He hesitates, then ducks down a side street. It’s no escape. By the time I get there, I can hear the thuds and grunts of a bare-knuckle fight in the darkness. The man’s been caught and is wrestling his pursuer on the ground. He breaks free, springs up like a dog. A high wall confines the alley: he gets his arms over the top and kicks to get himself over. I try to grab his legs, but he lashes out and catches me in the face. He’s over the wall and gone. My mouth’s sour with blood and numb with pain, but nothing compared to the fury of letting him escape.
‘Who is he?’
It’s Simeon, picking himself up off the ground and rubbing his shoulder. I told him not to come, but it doesn’t matter now. I need to get over the wall and I can’t do it by myself. I make him crouch against the wall and cup his hands to lift me into the darkness. The bricks are cold and uneven; I half-expect I’ll pull it down with my bare hands if my old arms don’t give out first. I flap and flail like a fish to get myself up.
‘Should I –?’
I’ve made it. I lie on top of the wall for a second, gasping the night air. ‘Hand me the bag.’ It’s the one thing I’ve got; I’m not going to let it go.