I tried to remember the history of the university I’d learned when I was here last. Alabama was one of the older universities in the United States. During the Civil War, it was nicknamed the ‘West Point of the Confederacy.’ Just five days before General Lee surrendered at Appomattox, Brigadier General John T. Croxton crippled Tuscaloosa by destroying everything of value. That included this academic institution turned makeshift military academy.
At the time, the tragedy could have been much worse. The 300 cadets at Alabama were severely outnumbered by the Union troops. Although the corps had field pieces, the Union troops captured them before they could be brought into play. Then the Union trained them on the bridge and its approaches to the city from the Northport side. The Union was armed with repeater rifles that outclassed the young cadets’ one-shot models.
University President Garland conferred with Alabama’s Commandant Murfee. Since the two of them were unwilling to commit the corps to a battle that would have amounted to a useless sacrifice, Murfee marched the boys back to the campus. In the middle of the night, they made their escape east along the Huntsville Road.
Woods Hall was the first building built after the campus was destroyed. It was constructed with brick from the ruined structures.
I thought the history of the place was fascinating. Now, though, I had to focus on recruiting.
The Quad was packed with tailgaters. There was a sea of tents and canopies set up. We talked to some students, and they had started camping out on Friday so they could get the same spot each game day.
Dad made the executive decision that we would skip meeting with the academic people and enjoy tailgating. I think both Mom and Dad needed a stiff drink. To be honest, after learning I was a father three more times, I could use one too.
We found a tent where they were making flaming Dr Peppers.
“I have to try that,” I announced.
“Are you kidding me? It sounds dangerous,” Mom said.
“It has Amaretto and rum in it,” our host said.
That was enough to sell Mom. At home, she was already well into the process of demolishing all the rum I’d brought back from Cuba.
These guys filled a shot glass with Amaretto and topped it with Bacardi 151. We were given a fire safety warning before they set the rum on fire and then dropped the shot glass into a half a glass of beer.
I’m not sure why, but Mom made me drink the first one. Everyone looked at me when I took my first sip.
“Uh, I’ll be damned. It really does taste like Dr Pepper.”
Three of those and I felt great. I thought I could walk to the game, but Fritz put a stop to that. Cassidy was a sourpuss because Fritz wouldn’t let her have one. All I know is that my mom wasn’t giving me sideways looks or commenting about how irresponsible I was. She and Dad had enough in them by now that they both found just about everything funny.
It could also have been the ‘moonshine’ drink we tried called ‘apple pie moonshine.’
After a couple of Dr Peppers, I was up for anything. Again, I was the crash-test dummy. This one had apple cider, apple juice, cinnamon sticks, sugar, and a terrifying amount of Everclear. I was sure that you could’ve lit it on fire too. The scary part was that after the first sip, which seemed only a touch strong, they went down easy. I’d had enough Everclear punch to know that was bad.
We hooked back up with Wolf and Tim. They’d been responsible and had met the academic people, which meant they were in about the same mood as Cassidy.
“Have you been drinking?” Wolf asked.
“Just Dr Pepper,” I said and started to giggle.
I was such a lightweight now. In the good old days of middle school, I could have handled way more than that. Brook had had four and was holding her liquor better than I was, even though she weighed at least a hundred pounds less. It could also be that I took a pain pill before I hit the quad.
“It had Amaretto, rum, and beer in it,” Cassidy told them.
“That sounds gross,” Tim said, throwing a face.
“He also had ‘moonshine,’” Cassidy tattled.
“Girly, you better stop telling everything you know,” I threatened and then doubled over laughing.
She didn’t think I was as intimidating as I seemed to think.
“What the hell? I think we need to catch up,” Mr. Tams declared.
Mom and Dad absconded with our golf cart and took the other parents back to the tent we’d just left. I doubted we would see them during the game. Tim and Wolf decided that I sucked, and Cassidy agreed.
◊◊◊
Number-1-ranked Alabama was playing number 6 Texas A&M. Alabama had won by 39 over Tennessee the week before. Texas A&M was smart in that they were coming off a bye week, giving them an extra week to prepare for this game. Even though it was a clash of top ten teams, Alabama was favored by 18 points, due to a combination of this being a home game and Alabama just looking that good.
I was right. None of our parents were in their seats when the game started.
Alabama got the ball first and ran all over the Aggie defense. I was surprised when Texas A&M stiffened at the 20 yard line to force a field goal. On the first series by the Aggies, they managed a first down but had to punt. Alabama used their physical superiority to run the ball right down the field. It looked to be a long day for their opponents until the Aggies stiffened and forced another field goal.
On the third drive, Alabama took it to the house to put them up 13–0. I admit that at that point, I lost interest in the game and began to people-watch.
That lasted all of a couple of minutes until my tummy said something was wrong. I jumped up and made my way to the nearest bathroom. Cassidy saw my dilemma and had trailed me. She pushed me into the girls’ bathroom, where I found an empty stall. The good thing about a liquid lunch is that when it comes back up, it’s still liquid. I think the ‘moonshine’ drink was a bridge too far. I’d had experience with Everclear punch and should have known better. Whenever you can taste the Everclear, it’s too strong. I think it had tried to burn a hole in my gut.
When I came out, I found something interesting: women’s bathrooms are much nicer than the men’s. I think there’s some kind of discrimination going on. I made my way to the sink and rinsed my mouth out. Cassidy hustled me out when I spit in the basin and received angry glares. Maybe it was because of things like that that guys didn’t get nice bathrooms.
“We better get you something to eat,” Cassidy suggested.
I think Cassidy was hungry. We found Chick-fil-A, and I immediately ordered waffle fries. I needed something salty. Cassidy ordered food for everyone. She looked at me when the woman told her it was almost $200. I mean, seriously, I understand that stadium prices are going to be higher, but even I thought that was excessive.
“Have you ever paid for anything?” I asked Cassidy.
For my smart comment, I had to carry most of the food back to where we were sitting. I made the mistake of grabbing a spicy chicken sandwich. It must be a Southern custom to try to use enough cayenne pepper to make you sweat. The Alabama fans thought I was a wimp.
By now, all the parents were back, and I was glad Cassidy had ordered so much food.
The second half found the Crimson Tide down 14–13. I’d missed Texas A&M’s comeback. Alabama got their act together and came roaring back to win 33–14. I had to grin when a group of fans was sweating the margin of victory. They’d bet on their team and had to cover the 18-point spread.
◊◊◊
After the game, I needed a nap. I’d been up half the night traveling or learning I had three more children.
Fortunately, the effects of the alcohol I’d drunk before the game were gone. It was probably for the best that my stomach had revolted and gotten rid of most of it. To be honest, they’d warned me about the ‘moonshine’ drink. I noticed most of the regulars had sipped theirs.