“We haven’t decided anything,” Mrs. Lacier tried.
I chuckled when Jill batted her eyes at her mom. That might work on her dad; her mom, not at all. Jill gave her a little pout but gave up trying to manipulate her mother.
“Are we going dancing?” Jill asked.
“Yeah, David. Are we going dancing?” Adrienne asked me.
I turned to Mrs. Lacier.
“Do you trust me to take your daughter to a place where they serve alcohol?” I asked.
“I let you take her sister to the Thunderbird,” she reminded me.
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on both her and David,” Paul offered.
“Good luck with that,” Kevin mumbled and then realized Jill’s mom heard him. “Not that David would … uh …”
“I can’t think of anything David wouldn’t do, either,” Mrs. Lacier said, shocking everyone.
“Well, then. I guess I’ll corrupt your daughter tonight,” I said.
“That’s what my dad said about you,” Jill explained. “Then he went and let you date my sister.”
“Most likely because you two had your dad outnumbered,” I suggested.
“Do I at least get to go to dinner?” Mrs. Lacier asked.
“If I have anything to say about it, you will. I think you would enjoy a night on the town,” Tyler said.
Kevin suddenly materialized at my side. I leaned over, and he whispered in my ear.
“Invite some models to join us.”
He forgot he was in a room full of women. They didn’t have to be moms to have bat-like hearing.
“Don’t worry, the word is out that young David’s in town. There will be plenty of models out tonight,” Adrienne predicted.
“Guys, too?” Megan asked and then blushed.
“Guys, too,” Adrienne promised.
I rolled my eyes because when a bunch of female models show up at a club, it was bound to attract guys.
“Let’s quit talking about it and go out,” I suggested.
◊◊◊
Kevin, Paul, Jackie, and I got into one of the cabs taking us to dinner. As soon as we pulled away from the curb, Kevin became … well … Kevin.
“So, what’s the trick to picking up women in New York?”
I was considering my answer when Jackie surprised us with hers.
“There are three rules you should follow. The first is logistics. Getting laid here is like getting takeout—it’s all about quickness and opportunity. New York girls are basically lazy. To use the takeout analogy, they would pass up a slice from Lucali five blocks away to grab a street dog at the corner.”
Lucali was my favorite New York pizza place so far. I would walk five blocks for a slice any day.
“Sure, some girls are super desperate and might invite you home, but don’t count on it. Just know that if it’s a cab ride away, you’re more likely to see David marry Hannah Minacci than you are to get lucky,” Jackie explained.
“Hey,” I complained, only to become the recipient of a Jackie smirk.
“The second is to never ask for their number. New York girls are all about anonymous hookups because there are so many guys here you don’t need a steady boyfriend to get laid,” Jackie added.
“Perfect,” Kevin said.
“Finally, know when to go in for the kill and do it quickly. From what I’ve seen, the most successful men don’t mount a full-court press right away.
“As a side thought, don’t be the dork who thinks buying them drinks will work. They’ll just bleed you for free drinks and then go home with someone else.
“Wait for the girl to show interest. When she does, move fast to seal the deal. If that means dragging her to the alley and doing it there, so be it.”
I think we were a little stunned that she would so graphically describe her counterparts here in New York. But still, I figured it was useful information.
“It looks like there’s an alley up ahead. Should I get the driver to drop us off?” I suggested.
Kevin and Paul’s eyes got big as Jackie gave me the once-over.
“Honey, for you, I would break all the rules. If you’re serious …” Jackie said and left the rest unsaid.
“We probably shouldn’t be late for dinner,” I deflected.
“Or you could just be David. I swear women just throw themselves at him,” Kevin complained.
“Better yet, hang out with him and pick up his castoffs,” Paul suggested.
I’d heard this once too many times. The funny part was, I’d never actually seen that strategy work. Then the reality set in. Both Kevin and Paul were dating women I’d dated before. Maybe it was a delayed-reaction sort of thing.
◊◊◊
Chapter 13 – House of Yes Friday March 31
After a nice dinner where Mrs. Lacier and Jill got better acquainted with Adrienne and Tyler, we jumped into taxis and went to a place called ‘House of Yes.’ When we got out of the cabs, Adrienne had us gather around.
“Friday nights, they require everyone to wear costumes,” she said and pointed to a truck parked next to the entrance. “They have clothes ready to rock the dance floor. My treat.”
When I came out, I chuckled when I saw the sequined hot pants the girls were wearing. I had on a ’70s-inspired disco look, complete with tight-legged bell-bottom pants and a silk shirt with balloons on it.
When we walked in, I made one quick scan and turned to Tyler.
“Are you sure it’s appropriate for them to be here?” I asked, referring to the Laciers.
The guy at the door had to know I was underage because he recognized me. With Adrienne in our group, he didn’t look twice at Jill. Frankly, even if Jill had shown up on her own, I still couldn’t see him stopping her because she looked to be in her twenties.
I was concerned because this wasn’t a typical club. It was more what I would imagine Studio 54 had been like back in the day, from what I’d read. They had cage dancers and scantily clad men and women on stage, which screamed that we’d walked into the NC-17 version of a New York club.
“Adrienne likes to see how new models handle this place. If they’re going to be a problem, we figure it out quickly. Plus, Mrs. Lacier needs to realize that some photo shoots Jill might go on will have adult themes,” Tyler explained.
I had to chuckle because my mom had given Ashley and Scarlet instructions for me not to go to clubs or casinos. I suspected this would be her worst-nightmare scenario, so I snapped a few pics and posted them on my social media. Yep, I was a ‘stupid boy’ just looking for trouble.
It wasn’t only the performers who wore next to nothing. I swear one girl was wearing nothing but Christmas lights. Others had on everything from drag queen costumes to leather BDSM gear to what I would expect to see at a circus.
By ‘circus,’ I mean they had actual stilt walkers dancing with the crowd. As much as I might try to explain it, I’m not sure I could do the place justice. I would suggest if anyone was looking to get their mind blown and asked where they could do that, this was the place. You couldn’t adequately describe it, though; they needed to experience it.
We were greeted by a bunch of models who’d responded to Adrienne’s call, and they embraced the location. They must’ve believed that nothing was too crazy.
Jill bounced up to me before we’d even found a table to call home base.
“Let’s dance.”
I picked my jaw off the floor from gawking at my surroundings and decided to just enjoy whatever was to come.
“Let’s.”
◊◊◊
I loved the soundtrack the DJ was pumping out; it encouraged rowdy behavior. There were a lot of sexy shimmies, hip-wiggling, twerking, and grinding going on. This wasn’t anything close to what I’d experienced back home. The only problem was that I was dancing with my brother’s girlfriend. That stopped me from thoroughly enjoying what was offered. When her hand grazed my junk, I stopped and walked her off the dance floor.
“Young lady,” I chastised.