Tami bit her lip while looking at me.
“You know that when the whole Brandon nightmare happened last year, I thought Alan might really have done it. Now, I feel guilty about that, but can’t get that thought out of my head.”
“I’m sorry about how I reacted,” I apologized.
“David, I never blamed you for all that. Brandon staged it to maximize our pain. In the end, you were the one who got me some justice. I talked to your mom, and she told me how you reacted when you found out. I’ve long known that your feelings have always been honest.
“With that in mind, are you really okay with me dating Tim?” she asked.
I shook my head at the sudden change of topic and looked down.
“You know me too well. There’s a part of me that can’t stand seeing you with someone else. Fortunately, that part of me has gotten smaller over time. Deep down, I’ll always think of you as my one and only. I’ve known for a long time that I love you. When I was little, I think I recognized that we would always be best friends.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think since you told me that you weren’t ready for a relationship with me. Since then, I’ve learned some things about myself and, if I’m completely honest with myself, you did us a favor. If we’d been together, I would have tried to make everything perfect because you deserve that. You’re too important to me for me not to. If we’d been in that kind of relationship, and I was dealing with all my drama, I might have cracked.
“There’s no way I could have been the perfect boyfriend, especially in light of what my life has become. I’m sure you felt it too. I suspect if we had become each other’s one and only, we would have destroyed each other. This last week has been a wake-up call for me.
“What I will say is, I know Tim, and I know you. Of all the guys you might have picked, I couldn’t have chosen a better one for you to be with. I see how happy you are with him, and there’s no way I can ever begrudge you that happiness,” I said to ease her mind.
“What about you and Brook?”
My face lit up.
“Honestly, with her, it’s easy. She totally gets me, and I always look forward to the next time I see her. She’s confident enough that I don’t have to worry that she’ll see or hear something and jump to conclusions. Brook knows how I feel about her. I never feel like there’s a need for me to play a role when I’m with her, if that makes any sense.”
“After our talk about how you feel like everyone wants a piece of you, I’m glad you don’t think she’s playing any games,” Tami said.
I thought about that for a moment. Something I was sure of was that Brook would never take advantage of our relationship. When I was with her, I was just David, and right now, that was precisely what I needed to be.
Then Tami changed the conversation once again. It seemed she wanted to cover as much ground as possible if I was talking to her.
“I talked to Cassidy last night. She told me that your fight with that man in Oklahoma really was bothering you. Are you okay?” she asked.
“Not really. It’s one thing to learn to defend yourself, and I will forever be in Cassidy’s debt for taking me under her wing and teaching me. It’s just that … I don’t know …” I trailed off.
Tami pulled a Dawson on me and waited me out.
“I guess that once it was over and I looked back on what happened, I saw how easy it was for me to hurt him. You had to be there. This guy wasn’t a typical dad. He’d grown up in a rough part of Dallas and could handle himself. Were I a regular high school kid, he would have kicked my butt effortlessly. The man was a bull and walked right through several of my punches.
“I don’t know if you understand the type of training Cassidy has had me doing. It isn’t about doing forms and looking good. For the most part, we go full-out. She never backs off and has forced me to learn to protect myself. With her training, I know that even if the tide of a fight is going against me, I have the skills to turn it around. Without that, I might have been seriously hurt.
“What I was doing with him wasn’t working, and it was like my body just reacted and changed tactics. I knew I had to put him down hard. That man was not going to back off. When I reacted, it was almost too easy. He started to go down, and I used a finishing move intended to either disable or kill him. If medical help hadn’t been close at hand, he might have died,” I said.
“How do you feel about that?” she asked.
I gave her my one-eyebrow-raised look. Tami sounded way too much like my uncle.
“It’s messed up,” I admitted.
“Cassidy said you haven’t been back to the dojo.”
“Cassidy has a big mouth.”
“Settle down. Have you forgotten I can find out anything I want to know about you?” Tami asked with a grin.
That had been one of our biggest issues. It brought a small smile to my face.
“I need time to figure things out. I’m sure that I’ll eventually be back to training with Cassidy. The dojo helps me with a lot of my life that’s not related to self-defense. It makes me a better ballplayer and helps me with my focus. It’s also a great way for me to work out my frustrations.”
“Good. The only other advice I want to give you is to talk to Brook about what’s going on with you.”
“For once, I beat you to the punch. She and I had a good talk.”
Tami appeared to be taken aback by that. It seemed she’d never imagined I would find anyone else to help work through all my ‘stupid boy’ problems, as she called them.
Our conversation drifted to safer ground as she updated me on all my friends at Wesleyan. I planned to go visit sometime soon. That was if I could ever find the time.
◊◊◊
Ohio State was on a bye week, so they didn’t have any recruits on campus, other than us. Kevin had been instructed to bring us over to the Woody Hayes Athletic Center when we were done with the campus tour. Brook and Cassidy joined my dad and me, and we soon found ourselves in Coach Casey’s office. We were joined there by John Lunt, their quarterback coach.
“It’s good to see you. I understand that you’ve been up north this weekend,” Coach Casey said.
“What is it with neither of you being able to say the actual name?” I asked.
“I realize it sounds silly, but once you’re here, you’ll understand. Our fan bases get a little excited when we talk about each other.”
“I see that you’re ranked number two after your win at Oklahoma last weekend.”
“That was a key game for us,” he admitted. “Anytime you can go into their stadium and come out with a win, it’s a big deal. I think we’re in a good position to run the table and win the national championship again. And I wanted to point out that we had 16 players from last year’s team sign NFL contracts.”
“I’m well aware of that. I’m also aware that your starting quarterback will be a senior next year, and I know that you’re not opposed to starting a freshman at that position.”
“If he’s the right freshman,” Coach Lunt jumped into the conversation.
Coach Casey raised an eyebrow.
“I would think the number-one quarterback might be good enough,” Dad inserted.
Coach Lunt held up his hands.
“Sorry, we just make it a habit not to promise playing time. I hope you understand that if you are the best for the job, it’ll be yours,” he said for the save.
“Since John stepped in it, I might as well address another issue. We’re not prepared to offer either Wolf Tams or Tim Foresee at this time,” Coach Casey said and paused to see my reaction.
When I didn’t show any, he continued.
“Before you get upset, let me explain. We have a couple of recruits rated higher that have verbaled. While I’d like to offer Wolf, I simply don’t have the room. With Tim, it’s that he’s a three-star recruit. He would be a project and, not to sound arrogant, we don’t need to recruit projects.”