It was either that, or the Wesleyan girls wouldn’t allow him back on the bus.
On the Tami front, we spent the afternoon just being goofy kids. It reminded me why we’d been friends for such a long time. I never doubted that she was worth the effort to stay in touch with after we graduated. I couldn’t imagine a world without her in my life in some form or another.
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Chapter 25 – Drugs Are Expensive Saturday April 22
We were set to play our last game before next week’s Regionals. That would begin our quest to win eight straight games to win state, something all but impossible to do in baseball. That was why they played best of five- and seven-game series in professional ball. Even the College World Series used a double-elimination format. At some point, Lady Luck would have to play a part in whether we would win it all.
I took Duke on my morning run, ate breakfast with my family, and did some reading for school. I had some time, so I pulled out my life goals. After talking to both my dad and Jeremy, the psychic, I felt I should reaffirm they still made sense and met my needs.
Financial Stability
Comfortable Life
Good Education
Physically Fit
Solid Moral Foundation
Religion / Faith
Man of Integrity (Man of my word)
No Gossip
Think before saying ‘yes’
Learn to say ‘no’
Healthy Sex Life
No Regrets
Make a Difference
Be a Great Dad
Be True to Who I Am
As I reviewed them, it was clear that I was doing well with some goals, and with others, not so much. I had the first two taken care of to this point. By this time next year, I would have made three more movies and banked enough that I would be financially secure for the rest of my life. My business interests, which all showed a positive cash flow, only added to my financial position.
If I so desired, I could potentially retire before I reached the age of twenty and not work another day in my life. For me, though, that wouldn’t fly. I couldn’t imagine ever sitting at home or living a life of leisure like many trust-fund kids did. That didn’t fit goal number 6, ‘Make a Difference.’
I skipped over number 2 because, at this point, it was a given. I would keep it as a placeholder for when I got older. Not that being physically fit wasn’t important; I’d already lost a grandfather to heart problems, and my dad had to work through his own cardiac issues. That alone provided motivation enough.
The goal giving me the most trouble was number 3. Starting at the top, I hadn’t done much with the first component, ‘Religion / Faith.’ I’d been hit-or-miss on going to church, but that was only part of it. As they say, going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. Faith is the key, but ‘faith’ is one of those words that people have a hard time understanding. I’d been told by some that faith in a religious context wasn’t anything other than superstition.
That comment made me reflect on the true meaning of faith. The dictionary definition was ‘unquestioning belief that does not require proof or evidence.’ For me, the short answer was faith meant taking God at His word.
I didn’t think God wanted us to blindly follow religious teachings or dogma with an unquestioning belief that did not require proof or evidence, as the dictionary said. Faith meant accepting God’s word (His promises and His warnings) as fact and acting accordingly.
For me, it was a roadmap for living. I didn’t have to believe everything written in the Bible for it to fit into my life. People got hung up on taking the stories in the Bible too literally. We had to remember that the Bible had been written by men, and which of us was perfect?
What I saw religion doing for most people was to help them see beyond themselves. It was chock full of examples like ‘do unto others as you would have them to do unto you.’ Personally, I believed if more people thought more about those words and began to live by them, our world would be a better place.
If for no other reason, I would continue to go to church because I had kids. Thinking about what kind of men and women I wanted them to grow up to be, I envisioned them as loving, caring adults who thought of more than just themselves. I felt religion and faith would help with that.
The next goal, ‘Man of Integrity,’ was a work in progress. If you wanted to be a leader, people had to be able to trust your word. The saying ‘actions speak louder than words’ fit precisely here. I had to keep reminding myself that a promise once made should be a promise kept.
This was another one of those guideline types of goals. It didn’t mean you never backed out of a promise. Sometimes circumstances changed, and you couldn’t follow through on a promise. Or you might be in a situation where you decided not to follow through because the consequences would be dire for those involved. That came with a big ‘but’: but it had to be for a damned good reason, and you should explain why you changed your mind.
That led to the next three on my list, which presented my toughest challenge: ‘No Gossip,’ ‘Thinking before saying “yes,”’ and ‘Learning to say “no.”’
‘No Gossip’ was hard. We all wanted to hear and share dirt. I’d admit to being guilty of this one. I’d added this goal because of the way people perceived a gossip. First of all, not very flatteringly. Yes, we loved to listen to the stories. But if you took a step back, you had to ask yourself—would you trust the person telling stories with a confidence? Or would you worry they would share what you said with others?
This one, I wanted to work on.
The next two went hand-in-hand. ‘Thinking before saying “yes”’ was an extension of being a man of integrity who kept his promises. When you made a promise, it should be done in a manner where you don’t have to go back on your word, if possible. That meant I had to think through what I was committing to, be it something simple like agreeing to hang out with friends or something big like adopting Dave.
On the flip side, it required that I fight my people-pleasing need. If I wasn’t willing to say ‘yes,’ I had to man up and say ‘no.’ Of all of these, this was the goal I struggled most with. I realized I would often justify my failure to say ‘no’ by telling myself it was instead a ‘no regrets’ situation. I would have to come up with better ways to evaluate circumstances and stick closer to my more critical internal goals.
Even now, from the outside, some people might think that I procrastinated on big decisions. In reality, it would be much easier to either agree to do something or reject it.
A good example was my struggle with where to go to school. Two considerations made me push off that decision until the end. First, once I made the decision, I planned to follow through with it. Second, I wanted to weigh all my options before committing myself.
After reviewing these two goals, I concluded I was satisfied with my new outlook on decision-making. If a decision didn’t need to be made on the spot, I would only benefit from taking the time to think it through. The only potential downside I could see was that sometimes when people procrastinate, they wind up letting decisions be made for them through inertia or circumstance. I could honestly say I didn’t have that problem, though.