“There doesn’t seem to be one,” Grace said. “Oh look, there’s Deborah’s mother. We should pay our respects,” Grace told Mr. Everett, who nodded. “We’ll talk to you later, dear.” Mr. Everett reached for Grace’s hand and led her toward the head of the room and an easel with a poster board filled with pictures. Most of them were of Deborah as a child and teenager. No wedding picture. None with David in them, and only a few of Deborah with Davey. Perhaps Elizabeth, instead of David, had contributed them for the gathering.
Angelica grabbed Tricia’s arm and spoke low in her ear. “What’s wrong with Mr. Everett’s lip?”
“Wrong?” Tricia asked.
“I think he missed a big patch while shaving this morning.”
Tricia stifled a giggle. “He’s trying to grow a moustache.”
“What for?”
“So he can walk around the village incognito. He’s aiming for one like Tom Selleck’s.”
“That’s a tall order for such a little guy. Maybe he should set his sights a bit lower. Like maybe Charlie Chaplin?”
“Shhh! He’ll hear you.”
“He will not. He’s halfway across the room.”
Muriel Dexter sidled her way through the crowd, followed by her twin sister, Midge. As usual, the elderly sisters were dressed alike, in matching black dresses, hose, shoes, and pillbox hats with tiny veils that almost covered their foreheads, and had probably come from a nice department store some forty or fifty years before.
Muriel waved to Tricia, who sighed. Talking to the sisters could be an ordeal.
“Tricia, good to see you, although under sad circumstances,” Muriel said. She waited for her sister to catch up before she began conversing in earnest.
“How have you ladies been?” Tricia asked politely.
“Worried,” Midge admitted, and looked around the room as if expecting to find a Russian spy behind a pillar. She lowered her voice. “There’s talk about the village that we’re ripe for the picking by alien invaders,” Midge said earnestly.
“Do you ladies honestly believe that?” Angelica asked, startled.
Both heads bobbed solemnly, and Tricia’s gaze traveled to the wall where Cheryl Griffin stood, her furtive glances taking in all in attendance. Probably looking for a Romulan centurion. “If you think about it, it makes perfect sense,” Midge continued. “Here we are in the wilds of New Hampshire—and everybody knows aliens only show up in rural areas—”
“Never in highly populated areas like New York City or Chicago or Los Angeles,” Muriel chimed in.
“We are doomed,” Midge said, and exhaled a weary sigh of defeat.
Tricia cleared her throat and avoided looking at Angelica for fear she’d burst out laughing.
“We were thinking we should sell off everything we own and move to a tenement in New York City. It might be a lot safer,” Muriel said, and shook her head, heaving yet another sigh.
A tenement?
It was Tricia’s turn to exhale wearily. “Ladies, ladies—please, think about it.” She paused. It wasn’t likely they would honor Star Trek’s Mr. Spock and think the situation through logically. It would be up to her to provide the voice of sanity. And yet there was no way she could convince them that their beliefs were . . . crazy-nutso-bananas!
“Ladies,” Tricia began again, “I want to assure you that you will not be targeted by extraterrestrial slavers.”
“Oh?” Angelica asked, with great interest.
“No?” Muriel asked, hopeful.
“I don’t mean to sound morbid, but if you think about it from a purely business perspective, any alien slave master is going to go straight for the young and the brawny. That means teenagers and young men and women of childbearing age. They’ll not only want individuals who can put in a sixteen- or eighteen-hour workday but who will make ideal breeding stock, too. This is one instance when I think you can count your lucky stars that you’re not only collecting Social Security but safely past menopause.”
Muriel’s smile was positively beatific. “Well, if you put it that way.”
Midge gave a huge sigh of relief. “Oh, sister—finally there’s a reason to rejoice in being old! I think we should go to the Brookview Inn tonight and celebrate with a great big steak dinner!”
“I’m for that,” Muriel said, and turned to face Tricia again, grabbing her hand. “Thank you, Tricia. Not only have you made our day, but you’ve made our week, month, and year, too!”
The sisters turned in unison. “Well, that’s a load off of my mind,” Muriel muttered
“Mine, too,” Midge agreed, as they walked away, heading straight for Cheryl Griffin, who Tricia suspected was about to get an earful.
“Nice move,” Angelica said. “I didn’t know you were so well versed in intergalactic business policies.”
“I went through a phase reading science fiction, too, you know.”
“Star Wars era?”
“And a little before,” Tricia admitted. “Of course, if all the aliens want is a food supply, we’re all skunked.” Once again she let her gaze travel the room, noticing there was no coffin. Instead, a small, six-sided cherry cask apparently held Deborah’s earthly remains on a small dais at the front of the room near the easel. The way David had been behaving, she was surprised he had sprung for even that indulgence instead of the standard plastic container that came with a bottom-end cremation. Then again, who said the cherry cask wasn’t just a prop for the service. Was he going to bury it or scatter Deborah’s ashes at a later date? No one had mentioned David’s plans for his wife’s remains.
“That cheap sonofabitch,” someone behind Tricia hissed. She turned to find Elizabeth Crane standing behind her.
“You mean David?” she asked.
Elizabeth nodded. Her face was pale and drawn, and her mascara was smeared. “He didn’t even let us have a last good-bye with her before he had her cremated. He never even phoned to tell me what the plans were for today,” she said with a catch in her voice.
Too busy wining and dining someone else at the Brookview Inn, Tricia thought, but didn’t dare utter it.
“I’m glad I phoned Mr. Baker last night, or there wouldn’t even have been pictures of Deborah on display,” Elizabeth continued. “That wonderful man put this whole thing together this morning.”
Tricia noticed the dark TV screen in the corner. Lately the funerals she’d attended had had some kind of slideshow to chronicle the deceased’s life. There probably hadn’t been time to assemble one.
“David wasn’t even going to spring for remembrance cards, either. I paid for them. I don’t want people to forget my baby.” She shook her head. “I didn’t approve of Deborah marrying David, but I never thought he’d be so callous toward her—or us.”
Tricia wondered which of the unidentified women in the crowd were Deborah’s two sisters. She exchanged an uncomfortable look with Angelica, who for once seemed at a loss for words.
“Oh my God,” Elizabeth hissed. “What are they doing here?”
Tricia looked behind her to see the woman she’d run into at the bank. Brandy somebody. She’d mentioned having a sister. “Paying their respects?” Tricia offered.
“That surprises me, after the words the fat one had with Deborah after Davey broke his arm.” The woman standing beside Brandy was tall and what Tricia would call ample, but the bulk appeared to be more muscle than fat.
“Water under the bridge at this point, I suppose,” Tricia said.
“What words?” Angelica asked, making a show of staring at the woman.
“Shhh!” Tricia admonished.
“Will you stop shushing me!” she hissed.
“I’ll explain later.”
“I’ve been trying to track down Davey’s missing blanket and I’m sure it was left at the day care center the day he broke his arm,” Elizabeth continued. “Brandy has to have it and is keeping it out of spite.”