I turned, half-tempted to spin-kick him in the head, and while I was sure I could break out some of the moves, I didn’t have any leftover, supercool Apollyon powers. Spin-kicking him probably wouldn’t end well.
Apollo glanced over his shoulder, exasperated. “Are you coming? Time is ticking.”
“Oh, I think I have, like, an eternity worth of time.” I wanted to stay where I was, because I was feeling pretty damn childish, but I groaned and then followed him. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
I made a face at him as I struggled to keep up with his long-legged gait. Pissed as I was at him, I remained sullenly quiet as we walked. We made it to the edge of the garden before I couldn’t hold back my questions.
“How is everyone?”
He looked at me sideways. “How do you think?”
My palms tingled, and anger heated my cheeks. “A part of me knew that this would be the outcome, but I hoped it would be different. I hoped because of what you said and what I was being asked to do. You let me down, Apollo. So the least you could do is give me a straight answer.”
His blue eyes deepened, turning the color of the sky before a storm. I knew I’d struck a chord, but I didn’t care. What could he do? Kill me? A quiet voice whispered in the back of my head that he could drop my unhappy ass in Tartarus, but I doubted he’d ever do that, no matter how much I ticked him off.
Apollo sighed. “They’re not happy. Your uncle holed himself up in a room and drank himself into a stupor. Your friends? Inconsolable. I think you know how Seth feels. Maybe you don’t—not to the full extent, anyway. And Aiden?” He paused, and the back of my eyes burned. “I have never seen a man break the way he did. And he broke. Set half the damn Covenant on fire. If his brother hadn’t showed up when he had, I’m positive that he would’ve stayed in the burning building. Is that what you wanted to know? Did it make you feel better, Alexandria?”
“No,” I whispered, my chest aching as if someone had split me wide open. Tears welled up and spilled down my cheeks. I wiped at them hastily. “That didn’t make me feel better at all.”
“I didn’t think it would, but you insisted.” He headed around the front of the cottage—the cottage I wasn’t sure I could even look at now. “People loved you—still love you. Mourning is never easy. But they will heal, and they will continue to live.”
And I wanted that—I wanted them to move on. Even as badly as I wanted to see them again, I didn’t want them here. They deserved to live.
“The Elixir is no more,” Apollo said. “I thought you’d like to know that.”
I looked up at Apollo as we crossed the beach, the sand warm under my bare feet. Since I’d died, I’d boycotted shoes. “Thank you.”
“Some of the servants will have lasting effects from being on the Elixir for so long, but many are functioning well. Many are presented with options they’ve never had before.” He stopped, several feet from the edge of the lapping waves. “After Ares’ defeat, an emergency Council meeting was called. Solos was given a spot on the Council.”
My mouth dropped open. “Are you serious? A half-blood on the Council? Oh my gods, that’s…wow, that’s awesome. How did it happen?”
A small grin appeared on his lips. “Only a few days have passed, but a lot has happened. Aiden took his spot on the Council as well.”
I sucked in a shallow breath as pride swelled through me. “He did? His parents…”
“He did. With his vote, among others, they officially revoked the Breed Order and gave those rights I promised you back to the halfs.”
Oh, my gods galore, I felt like I needed to sit down. This was major.
“He also gave up his seat afterward. He gave his seat to Solos.”
My eyes widened. “He did what? I mean, that’s great about Solos, but why would he do that?” Then fear poured into my chest like ice. “Oh gods, he’s going to be okay, right? He’s not going to do anything stupid—”
“He’s not going to do anything stupid. He will be okay,” Apollo responded. “Change is coming for our society, Alexandria. It will take some time, but it will happen. Just like you will come to accept your new path.”
Thrown off by that last statement, I took a step back, away from Apollo. “My new path?”
“Yes, it’s time that you start to move on.”
I gaped at him. “I just died!”
“And apparently enough time has passed for you to get ticked off about me not coming to visit you immediately.” Apollo smiled widely at my death glare. “Remember what you did with Caleb to honor your mother and those who died last summer?”
“What?” The change of subject left me spinning.
“You used spirit boats as a way of moving on, didn’t you?”
I frowned. “Were you peeping on me then, Apollo?”
He ignored that. “I think you need to do the same thing for yourself.”
“What the what?” I stared at him, stunned into stupidity. “You want me to set a spirit boat into the ocean that’s meant for me?”
Apollo nodded once more. “I think it’s the perfect idea. It will be symbolic and hopefully a new start for yourself.”
Several seconds passed while I waited for him to yell “just kidding” and slap me on the shoulder, but he didn’t. “You’re serious.”
“Do I look like I’m joking?”
Actually, he looked like he wanted to hit me. “But that is so…weird.”
“It is not weird.” His gaze dropped over me. “But you should be dressed nicer than this, like you were when you did it before.”
My mouth opened, but before I could utter a word, Apollo snapped his fingers, and my clothes changed. They changed while on my body. Jeans and tank top, my choice of afterlife attire, turned into the black tube dress I’d worn the day Caleb and I had set the little spirit boats free.
Smoothing my hands over the soft material, I lifted my gaze. “That’s…that’s creepy, because there had to be a split second when I was naked, so don’t do that again.”
He shrugged and then held out his once-empty palm. Not so empty now. A spirit boat rested in his hand, candle and all.
I hesitated. “You’re really going to make me do this.”
“Yes.”
Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I recognized that Apollo wasn’t going to be swayed on this matter. And it was strange. Ever since Apollo had killed me, I’d imagined letting loose on him hundreds of times, but now that he was here, holding a damn spirit boat in hands, I didn’t have it in me.
Maybe because I had agreed to become the God Killer, knowing how it would probably end.
Shaking my head, I took it from Apollo. The moment my fingers wrapped around it, a tiny flame encased the wick of the white candle. I held the fragile spirit boat in my hands. “You know this is twisted and morbid, right?”
“You need to let go of your old life, Alexandria.”
“My only life,” I muttered.
Apollo didn’t respond to that.
Exhaling harshly, I turned toward the ocean. Sun glinted off the waves, and I knew the water would be warm and foamy, because that was how I liked it. But walking out to those waves with a spirit boat meant for myself wasn’t as easy as anyone would think.
I stood there for several moments, so many thoughts racing through my head as a soft breeze rolled off the ocean and stirred my hair. Could I really do this without laughing or crying? Because I wasn’t sure if it was funny or just really sad. And was I ready for this? Contrary to Apollo’s annoying opinion, I did just die. Was I ready to move on? Did I want to?
That was a tough question.
The pain, the longing, and the yearning had become familiar to me. Letting go seemed like I was giving up, but that wasn’t right. Even in my darkest moments, I knew that wasn’t true. The truth was, I didn’t want to be like this forever. I didn’t want to be like this for another week. And I sure as hell didn’t want to end up in the Vale.