The couch was positioned in front of a large picture window, directly opposite her bedroom. The television sat on a table, half way between the two rooms, and swiveled around making it possible to watch from either area.
Michael had his head tipped over the back of the couch and was gazing out the window and up at the moon and stars. Annie loved to do the same when she was feeling sad. Several minutes passed and Michael sat quiet, deep in thought.
Finally Annie spoke. “Did you have a good time with your son?” she asked, staring at the exposed skin on his throat and wanting to kiss it.
“I didn’t see him,” he answered blankly, still looking up toward the sky.
“I thought you said…”
“I was wrong,” he snapped, suddenly jerking his head upright.
Annie jumped.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Michael apologized. “It’s my ex-wife up to her usual tricks.”
“What do you mean?” Annie asked, realizing it was none of her business.
“She knows how tight my schedule is, and yet, every time one of my planned visitation days rolls around, mysteriously my son can’t make it. She also knows I don’t have the time to drag her back into court every time she disobeys the custody agreement.”
“When was the last time you saw him?”
“He’s almost twelve and I haven’t physically seen him since his tenth birthday. We talk on the phone a lot but it’s not the same.”
“That’s a lot of time in between visits,” Annie said, reaching out to touch Michael on the forearm. Feeling her touch, he turned to face her.
“It’s in my lawyers hands now. I’m through playing her games.” Michael shifted on the couch. “Listen, I didn’t come here to complain to you about my ex-wife.”
“I don’t mind listening,” she said.
Michael shook his head. “I’m really sorry about all of this. I feel like I’ve drifted into your life and totally messed it up. I’ve started fights with your ex-husband and probably driven a permanent wedge between you and the rest of your band.” Michael ran his hands through his long dark hair and pulled it tight between his fingers, making a ponytail. “I bet you’re wishing you had gotten Brian or someone else from my band to sponsor you in the contest.”
Annie gave Michael a playful shove on his shoulder. “You’re crazy, you know that?” Then she got off the couch and headed toward the kitchen. “Would you like something to drink?” she asked, opening the refrigerator.
“Water would be nice. Thanks.”
Michael watched Annie move around the dimly lit kitchen. She was humming softly to herself. Even in the bulky clothes she had changed into, she was still a knockout. She came back to the living room carrying two glasses of ice water. Michael had both muscled arms draped over the back of the couch, which pulled the t-shirt tight across his chest. His broad thighs spread out at forty-five degree angles in front of him, as if he were making a statement. He was studying her movements with interest. Seeing his gaze made Annie stop in place, nearly dropping the two glasses.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, suddenly feeling naked again.
“Gawking at beautiful women is another guy thing, Annie. Sorry, but I couldn’t help myself.”
Annie set the glasses down on the coffee table and turned to him. “Do you want me to change again? I think I might have a burlap bag around somewhere that I could slip into.” She tried to stifle a laugh as she sat back down and pulled her knees up to her chest as she did.
“It wouldn’t matter. You’d still be gorgeous.”
Annie reached for her glass and took a sip of water. “Michael, what’s it like to play on stage in front of twenty thousand adoring fans?”
“Whoa! Where did that come from?”
“I’ve seen you play in concert and it’s amazing to watch you and Brian interacting with each other and the audience. I know what that’s like for me as a spectator to watch but I’ve always wondered what it’s like for you to be up there playing and in the moment.”
“Sex.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s like sex,” Michael stated. “Think of the best sex you’ve ever had and multiply that feeling a hundred times. That’s what I feel when we’re all clicking in sync. It’s pure magic. I remember the first time it happened, too. The noise terrified me.”
“Really?”
“Yep, I could feel a vibration coming at us from the back of the arena before I could really hear their voices. Then the roar hit us like a tidal wave. I was having trouble hearing our music through the monitors. Brian was loving it and I didn’t know whether to turn and run or stay and sop it up. It was a feeding frenzy and I felt like the main course. I’m sure all the drugs and booze in my system at the time only amplified my paranoia, but it was totally intense.”
Annie’s eyes widened when she heard Michael refer to his drug abuse.
“You seem shocked to hear me say that. Ex-junkies don’t object to talking about their old demons, Annie. You said you’ve read about us, so why the stunned look on your face?”
“You’re so blunt about it.”
“I call it like I see it. All my years in recovery taught me that,” he said.
“Have you ever gone back to the old life?”
Michael smiled. “I personally don't know of any addict that didn't find themselves drifting back into their old ways after coming out of rehab. It took me three times before I was finally able to put it behind me. I've been clean and sober now for over a decade but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still tempted. I think that will always be a part of me. It took me a long time to realize I didn't need the shit in my system to be a good musician. And once we all got rid of our demons, we were free to enjoy making the music again and that's what it's all about.”
“Three times in rehab?” Annie asked.
“It wasn’t easy for me to admit I was an addict. But after doing drugs for ten years they no longer did anything for me except to make me sick. I knew then it was either get clean or die. When those are your only options, it’s easy to make the right choice.”
“I’m glad you didn’t let the drugs win.”
“So, how about you? Are you in recovery too?”
“From what?” Annie asked.
“I don’t know, booze, drugs.”
“You’ll laugh when I tell you this, but I never had much interest in doing anything like that to excess - except for music. I like having control of myself. I’ll have a drink from time to time but being drunk has no appeal to me.”
“You’re smart.”
Michael stopped in mid-thought, suddenly mesmerized by the smile on Annie’s magnificent face. “Why are you smiling?” he asked.
Annie shifted her position on the couch. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you. But I couldn’t help thinking of how different you are in person from what I thought you’d be like.”
Michael chuckled. “Oh, really? What exactly were you expecting?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Sure,” he answered, resting his head back against the couch, his face turned toward her.
“Okay, I guess I was anticipating a man with an enormous ego and a rock star attitude. But after spending some time alone with you, I realize you’re actually kind of reserved, soft spoken and shy.”
Michael smirked and rubbed his eyes with his fingers. “Well, I can agree with some of what you said. But, trust me, I do have an enormous ego and an attitude but I make a serious effort to leave that all on stage. I don’t consider myself shy though. I think I’d call it ‘guarded’ and that is more out of necessity than a personality trait.”