I don’t deserve it. The miserable thought flashes through my head, making me wince.
“No, thanks.” I force a cheery smile. “Let’s go up and relieve Mum and Janice from babysitting duty.”
“You don’t want to walk around anymore? Look at the lights?”
“No, thanks.”
All my elation from earlier has melted away. The moment that Luke suggested treating me, it’s as though a voice popped up inside my head to berate me. But it’s not the nice, even-tempered, Golden Peace voice telling me to “buy with meaning” and “do everything in moderation.” It’s a harsher voice, telling me I don’t deserve anything at all.
We walk together away from the Shoppes, toward the elevators, letting the clamor of people and music wash over us. Luke keeps darting me thoughtful little glances, and at last he says, “Becky, sweetheart, I think you need your mojo back.”
“What mojo?” I say defensively. “I haven’t lost any mojo.”
“I think you have. What’s up, darling?” He swivels me round and puts his hands on my shoulders.
“Well…you know.” There’s a lump in my throat. “Everything. It’s all my fault, this trip. I should have gone to see Brent sooner. I should have listened to Dad more. No wonder Suze—”
I break off, my eyes hot, and Luke sighs.
“Suze will come round.”
“But I was talking to Danny about it, and he said friendships end, and I should let Suze go.”
“No.” Luke shakes his head firmly. “No, no. He’s wrong. Some friendships end. You and Suze are not going to end.”
“I think we already have ended,” I say miserably.
“Don’t give up! Becky, you’ve never been one to give up! OK, you’ve been in a bad place and Suze has been in a bad place…but I know the pair of you and I know you’re in it for the long haul. You’ll be grandmothers together, exchanging tips on knitting baby booties. I can see you now.”
“Really?” I say with a flicker of optimism. “Do you think so?”
I can actually picture us as old ladies. Suze will have long white hair and an elegant walking stick and still be stunningly beautiful, just with a few lines. And I won’t be beautiful but I’ll wear great accessories. People will call me the Old Lady in the Fabulous Necklace.
“Don’t give up on Suze,” Luke is saying. “You need her. And she needs you, even if she doesn’t realize it right now.”
“But all she can see is Alicia,” I say hopelessly.
“Yes, and one day she’ll focus properly and see exactly who and what Alicia is,” says Luke drily as he jabs the elevator button. “Meanwhile, remember you are still her friend. She asked you to come on this trip. Don’t let Alicia psych you out.”
“OK,” I say in a small voice.
“I mean it, Becky,” Luke insists, almost fiercely. “Are you going to let Alicia walk all over you? Fight for your friendship. Because it’s worth it.”
He sounds so forceful, I can feel a tiny smidgen of positivity returning.
“OK,” I say at last. “OK. I’ll do it.”
“Attagirl.”
By now we’ve reached our hotel room. Luke takes out the key, swipes it, and pushes open the door—and I freeze dead in shock. Wh—
Whaaat?
“Good evening, Rebecca, Luke,” comes a familiar icy voice.
—
OK, am I dreaming? Or did I have too many margaritas? This can’t be true.
But I think it is. Elinor, my mother-in-law, is sitting bolt upright on a pouf in a DVF wrap dress, gazing at me with that gimlet stare she has.
“Mother!” Luke sounds equally shocked. “What are you doing here?”
I feel an inward wince as I glance up at his face. The relationship between Luke and his mother has never been straightforward, but recently it’s plummeted to a new low. Two days ago, in L.A., I staged the least successful mother-son reconciliation ever. Luke stalked out. Elinor stalked out. My dreams of being a Kofi-Annan–style conflict-resolver kind of disintegrated. I know Luke’s been feeling raw ever since. And now, with no warning, here she is.
“Elinor came to my rescue!” says Mum dramatically, from where she’s sitting on the sofa with Janice. “I had no one else to turn to, so I rang her up!”
No one else to turn to? What’s she talking about? She’s got a whole RV full of people.
“Mum,” I say cautiously. “That’s not true. You’ve got me, Suze, Luke—”
“I needed someone influential!” Mum waves her wineglass at me. “Since Luke refused to use his contacts…”
“Jane,” says Luke. “I’m not sure what you expected me to do—”
“I expected you to pull out all the stops! Elinor couldn’t have been more helpful. She understands. Don’t you, Elinor?”
“But we’ve found Dad!” I expostulate. “We’ve tracked him down!”
“Well, I didn’t know that when I rang Elinor, did I?” says Mum, unabashed. “She came rushing here to help. But, then, she’s a true friend.”
This is insane. Mum barely knows Elinor. It’s not as though we’re one of those big happy families that blend together and have one another on speed-dial. As far as I know, our basic family arrangement, to date, is as follows:
Elinor looks down on Mum and Dad (too suburban).
Mum resents Elinor (too snooty).
Dad quite likes Elinor but thinks she’s a stiff old stick (fair point).
Luke and Elinor are barely talking.
Minnie loves everyone, especially “Grana” (Mum) and “Lady” (Elinor). But she’s asleep in bed, so she’s not much help.
So. Nowhere in this scenario is Mum and Elinor are best friends. In fact, I didn’t even know Mum had Elinor’s number. As I glance at Luke, I see a darkening frown on his face.
“What are you expecting my mother to do?” he says flatly.
“We’re going out now, to discuss the situation,” says Mum. “She’s never been to Las Vegas before and neither have we, so we’re going to have a ladies’ night out.”
“Girl power!” chimes in Janice eagerly.
“You look nice, Elinor.” I can’t help adding my bit. “Lovely dress.”
It was me who suggested that Elinor wear a wrap dress instead of her endless stiff suits. And, look, she’s taken my advice again! She’s in a black-and-white print dress, which fits her perfectly—I think she must have had this one altered—and makes her look so much more feminine. Next I’m going to suggest layering her hair. (One thing at a time, though.)
I can tell Luke is pissed off with Mum, although he’s trying to hide it.
“Mother,” he says. “Please don’t feel you have to be dragged into this. It was inappropriate of Jane to call you.”
“Inappropriate?” retorts Mum. “Elinor’s family, aren’t you, Elinor?”
“She’s been in ill health recently,” says Luke. “The last thing she needs is to be drawn into some family drama. Mother…” He turns to Elinor. “If you haven’t already eaten, I suggest the two of us go out for a late dinner. Becky, you don’t mind, do you?”
“No,” I say hurriedly. “Not at all. You go.”
“Because the truth is…” Luke sounds awkward as he addresses Elinor. “Well, the fact is, I didn’t behave well the other night. And I’d like to make it up to you. I think we need an opportunity to build bridges….” Luke pauses, rubbing his neck, and I know he’s finding this hard, especially in front of everyone. “And I have some apologizing to do. Please let me start with dinner.”
“I appreciate your words, Luke,” says Elinor after a stiff little pause. “Thank you. I think, if you are willing, that we could…” She seems just as awkward as Luke. “We could…draw a line under the past and begin again?”