Well, except the odd tiny one, like that time I borrowed her Monsoon top and it wasn’t even hers and she only found out years later. But apart from that.
Alicia is taking some slivers of pineapple from a fruit display, and as I watch, Luke approaches her, his phone in his hand.
“Oh, Alicia,” he says, sounding casual. “Just heard a bit of gossip on the grapevine. Chap didn’t want me to let on who he was, but he has it on good authority that Bryce Perry is intending to set up a rival establishment to Golden Peace.”
“What?” Alicia’s cry of shock pierces the sound of buffet chatter.
“That’s what I heard. You might want to check it out.”
He sounds totally laid-back and hasn’t even glanced at me. God, I love Luke.
“So that’s what he’s up to?” Alicia’s eyes glitter. “That’s why he’s targeted Tarquin? For backing?”
“Could be.”
Alicia’s new-agey, Zen-like manner seems to be fading away, fast. She looks absolutely livid.
“Anyway.” Luke shrugs. “As I say, just a rumor, but you might want to investigate.”
“Yes. Yes. Thank you for the tip, Luke.” Already she’s heading over to Suze. “You’ll never guess what Luke just told me,” she begins, before lowering her voice discreetly.
“Really?” I can hear Suze saying in shock. “Oh my God.”
“I know. I know!” Alicia’s voice rises again in fury. “All this time, he’s been Wilton’s trusted right-hand man, and now he’s betraying us!”
“So that’s—” Suze stops herself dead and there’s a weird pause. Her eyes are distant, and I can’t work out what she’s thinking at all.
Alicia has pulled out her phone to start texting. “I don’t know what Wilton will say,” she mutters. “It’s taken years for him to build up such an amazing, blue-chip client list, and Bryce wants to steal it?”
I feel such a jolt of shock that I goggle at her. Hello? You want to talk about pinching clients?
Alicia, do you remember when you tried to steal all Luke’s clients? I want to call out. Do you remember when you tried to wreck everything he’d worked so hard for?
But there’s no point. I think she’s airbrushed that whole incident out of her memory.
As she’s texting away, Danny comes over to her and Suze, his plate piled high with bacon. I can see an evil gleam in his eye, and he shoots me a tiny wink before speaking.
“So I hear Bryce is going into competition with you!” he begins with great interest. “That’s a piece of news. Tell me, Alicia, is he going to charge any less than you? Because I have to tell you, Golden Peace is waaaay expensive.”
“I have no idea,” says Alicia stonily.
“I mean, I love a good mindfulness class as much as the next guy,” Danny continues airily. “But if Bryce opens a more reasonable alternative, then it’ll be a no-brainer. I mean, who doesn’t need to be price-conscious, right? Even movie stars. I’d think you would lose a lot of clients.”
“Danny!” says Suze sharply.
“Just being honest,” says Danny innocently. “So, Alicia, if Bryce opens up a rival center, will your empire collapse, do you think?” He blinks at her. “Will you have to get a job?”
“Danny, shut up!” says Suze furiously.
“Wilton and I will not let some employee undermine us,” snaps Alicia. “Who does this Bryce Perry think he is?”
He is very good-looking, I want to point out. And everyone does worship him. But I don’t say this, because I think she’d probably attack me with a fork.
“Come on, Alicia.” Suze glares at Danny again. “Let’s sit down.”
As I’m wondering whether to follow them or just hide out by the muffins, I see Elinor approaching. She seems a lot better, which is either down to the fruit salad she’s been nibbling or because of her impending custom-made Danny Kovitz Classic wardrobe (I still can’t wait to see her in that coat).
“Would you like a muffin?” I venture politely, and she shoots a disdainful look at them.
“I hardly think so.” She glances over at Suze and Alicia. “What was Luke saying about Wilton Merrelle?”
“One of his employees is planning to open a rival center and steal all his customers. Why? Do you know him?”
“He’s an atrocious man,” says Elinor crisply, and I try not to beam in delight. A bit of bitching about Wilton Merrelle is just what I’m in the mood for.
“Why?” I repeat encouragingly. “You can tell me. I’m really discreet.”
“He practically forced a friend of mine out of her Park Avenue condominium.”
“How did he do that?” I ask, agog.
“He bought the apartment next door and pestered and pestered. Poor Anne-Marie was quite beleaguered. She felt she had no choice but to sell to him.”
“Poor woman!” I say in sympathy. “So, what happened to her?”
“She was forced to spend more time on her estate in the Hamptons,” says Elinor, without blinking.
OK, Elinor needs to work on her sob stories a little. But even so, it feels cozy, sharing a common enemy with her.
“Well, Alicia’s just as bad as Wilton,” I say. “Worse.” I’m about to launch into a whole list of Alicia’s dastardly deeds, when I see Elinor picking up a grape on a cocktail stick and looking at it curiously.
“This is a particularly minimalist canapé,” she observes.
“It’s not a canapé, it’s for the chocolate fountain.” I point. “See?”
Elinor peers at the gushing chocolate as though she’s none the wiser. I take the grape from her, dip it in the chocolate, let it cool slightly, and hand it to her.
“Ah.” Her brow clears. “I am reminded of the fondues one sees in Gstaad.”
“You’ve never dipped anything in a chocolate fountain before?”
“Naturally not,” she confirms with a supercilious air.
I love it. First-ever hangover. First-ever chocolate fountain. What else is there in the list of Elinor Sherman’s firsts?
“Elinor,” I say in sudden inspiration. “Have you ever worn a pair of blue jeans before?”
“Never,” responds Elinor, looking slightly revolted.
That’s it. I have her Christmas present. Dark-blue skinnies by J Brand.
Unless…do I dare give her ripped jeans?
The thought of Elinor unwrapping a pair of ripped jeans on Christmas Day cheers me up so much, I’m still smiling as I return to the table. But I hastily stop as I see Suze’s pained expression.
“I have to get Tarkie away from Bryce,” she’s saying fervently. “He’ll be trying to fleece him for millions.”
“If not more,” says Alicia darkly, and jabs at her phone yet again.
“I mean, should we phone the police again?” Suze looks around the table for support. “Now we have this new information?”
“Tarkie told me yesterday that he wasn’t going to give Bryce any money,” I venture. “I think he’ll be strong. He’ll just say no.”
“Bex, you don’t know anything about it! Tarkie’s extremely vulnerable. He hasn’t called, he hasn’t texted…he was snappy with me in L.A….He’s not normal.”
Her blue eyes are blazing and I lean away on my chair. Suze can be quite scary when she’s on fire like this.
“Suze…” I begin cautiously. “I know Tarkie was a bit tense in L.A. I know he said some weird stuff. But that doesn’t necessarily mean he was being brainwashed. He might…well…”
I trail off feebly. I can’t exactly say, He might not want to talk to you right now.
“What do you know about it?” Suze bites back.
“I was just giving you my point of view.”