There was a huge poker table covered with animal skins bolted to the floor about ten feet behind the driver's seat. Monk had pulled out the cushioned booths that had originally surrounded it after he caught Swede peeking at his cards during a poker game, and had laid in a supply of folding chairs that could be spread more equally around the table. Thaddeus opened up three of them, put them in place, and was just starting to rummage through the refrigerator for something to drink when Mr. Romany walked into the room.
"Good morning, Mr. Flint," he said, wrinkling his nose at the odor and casting a quick glance at the four caged animals.
"Have a seat," said Thaddeus. "I'll be with you in a minute." He pulled out three bottles of ginger ale, handed one to each of us, and withdrew a complicated-looking pocket knife. He opened it up, found the blade that doubled as a bottle opener, took the cap off his soda, and passed the knife around the table. Bruno reached a paw through the bars of his cage, trying to get at either Thaddeus or the soft drinks, and Thaddeus moved his chair a bit farther away.
"First things first: did you speak to Ahasuerus or any of the others on your way to the bus?"
"You told me not to," replied Mr. Romany.
"Good," said Thaddeus, allowing himself the luxury of a little smile. "I admire a man who does what he's told. It seems to me that I also told you to see if you could come up with a mutually agreeable proposition."
Mr. Romany nodded. "We both know that you've got me over a barrel," he said, "so I'm going to give you my best offer, and I think it will meet with your approval."
"Our approval," said Thaddeus. "Tojo's also my business adviser."
"Oh. I didn't know," said Mr. Romany, looking a bit flustered.
"Now you do. Please continue."
"Mr. Flint, I've got to have Ahasuerus and his group back. That much is nonnegotiable."
"Don't use words like 'non-negotiable' so early in the conversation," said Thaddeus. "I find them irritating."
"Nevertheless, I absolutely must have them back. My career depends on it. My proposal is simply this: if you'll return them, I will convince my superiors to use your carnival and your carnival alone as the base for all future excursion groups."
"Can you do that?"
"I think so."
"You think so?" repeated Thaddeus, arching his eyebrows.
"Let me rephrase that," said Mr. Romany. "I know that I can."
"What if one of your superiors decides he doesn't like the idea?"
"They're half a galaxy away. They'll be guided by my recommendations."
"And after Ahasuerus tells them what happened here?"
"It will be his word against mine. And yours."
"His word and that of eleven other aliens," corrected Thaddeus.
"Mr. Flint, I don't mean to speak down to you, but you simply have no idea how big the galaxy actually is. It would take my employer's bureaucracy years, lifetimes, to round up the necessary testimony and evidence."
"And what do you get out of this?" asked Thaddeus.
"My job."
"And what else?"
"One-third."
"One-third of what?"
"Everything. It will be worth it, Mr. Flint. Look how much having Ahasuerus' group has already improved your business. And besides, it won't last forever. I'll be off this dirtball in three or four years."
"Yeah? Where will you go?"
"I have three more planets to open up while I'm in this shape."
"What do you mean—this shape?"
"This," he said, indicating himself, "is not my real body."
"You can change your shape?" asked Theddeus, suddenly alert.
"Not at all," said Mr. Romany with a small laugh. "I've been surgically altered."
"You have?"
"Yes. It's a relatively simple process. It takes about two to three weeks."
"But why did you do it?"
"I'm an advance man, Mr. Flint. I make the initial contacts on planets that have not yet joined our community of worlds, and of course it behooves me to meet the natives not only on their own turf, so to speak, but in their own image as well."
"And there are three other worlds populated by men?" asked Thaddeus.
"Not exactly. I'm not totally like you, Mr. Flint. My coloration is a little different, my eyes are more widely set, my fingernails are false, and I have a rudimentary tail. But I'm close enough to pass as one of you, just as—depending on which features I emphasize—I'll be close enough to pass as an inhabitant of each of the other three worlds on my current agenda. Altering to accommodate three or four worlds at once saves considerable time, expense, and personal discomfort."
"Does everyone in your organization alter his shape?"
"Oh, no. Very few of us do, in fact. But it does help to advance one's career."
"I see," said Thaddeus. "And you plan to be on some other world in a few years?"
Mr. Romany nodded. "Five years at the most," he said. "Do we have an agreement?"
"No," said Thaddeus.
"No?" repeated Mr. Romany in astonishment. "But why not?"
"First of all, I find it highly unlikely that all future aliens will be as docile as this group. Second, I'm having enough trouble keeping this bunch alive, and I have no assurances that you won't foist a batch of even sicklier ones off on me. Third, I'm already making a bundle without cutting you in for one third. And fourth, your overestimate your importance. Your word will never hold up against Ahasuerus'."
"What makes you think not?"
"Because if I can see through you in ten minutes, so can whoever has to decide the case. You're a two-bit clerk who's fighting for his job. He's an honorable man with nothing to hide. Who do you think they'll believe?"
"What do you know about honorable men?" said Mr. Romany hotly.
"I don't have to be a horse to know that Secretariat was a good one," replied Thaddeus.
"You won't agree to it?" repeated Mr. Romany desperately.
"Of course not. But I figured you'd come up with some cockamamie scheme like this, so I've prepared a little counteroffer. Would you like to hear it?"
"Go ahead."
"Okay," said Thaddeus. "Quit the company and come to work for me. Keep the aliens healthy and happy and I'll give you five percent of the take."
"Quit the company?"
"Beats getting fired, doesn't it?" said Thaddeus with a smile.
"But I'd have to stay in this shape, on this world," protested Mr. Romany.
"It could be worse. You could be in Tojo's shape," commented Thaddeus.
The lion roared just then, and Mr. Romany jumped. It took both of them a minute or two to calm down.
"I don't think I can do it," said Mr. Romany. "Stay here forever?"
"It might not be forever," said Thaddeus. "I might get tired of it."
"You? Tired of money?"
"You never can tell," said Thaddeus.
"I'll have to think about it," said Mr. Romany.
"Take your time."
"That's the one commodity I don't have in abundance."
"I know," said Thaddeus. "How long before your mother ship sends out a distress signal?"
"What do you know about a mother ship?" said Mr. Romany sharply.
"I know twelve aliens didn't cross the galaxy in a little shuttlecraft. It stands to reason there are other groups on Earth, and that you've got a big ship in orbit. Of course, you're welcome to deny it, if it'll make you feel any better."