I will allocate a little time to D's refusal to say what she saw in me, as it reminded me of people going to extremes. In my question to D, I told her that I knew about my problems and how to solve them – I just wanted to have an additional impetus to throw off the remaining bad habits. Consequently, D had nothing to fear, but she chose not to write anything at all – even in a light form. This is important, since the nature of being lost in oneself is such that over time the states accompanying such a life become habitual, and a person may simply not understand that he is doing something wrong, or that something is wrong with him; in other words, a person does not know how he appears in the eyes of others. If no one tries in a friendly way to hint to him about his erroneous behavior, then the person will continue to make mistakes, believing that he is doing the right things. And sometimes this can lead to anger of a person towards other people who shy away from him, if that person does not understand that for the most part it is them who is wrong, and not others…
In general, I do not hold a grudge against the scammers, because I know that sooner or later they will be punished by the Universal Law, when it will be their turn to be the ones to learn what it is like to live on the other side of the barricades. I myself also learned something new from this rather expensive lesson – I would not become a victim of deception if I had the necessary knowledge. This way I again saw the importance of psychology in the decisions we make in our lives.
I kept working on the book, but I also wanted to spend as much time outside as possible in order to keep meeting girls – and just to have a good time outside during the warm summer season, as I could not do it last summer due to my mistake.
In general, I traveled and walked around a lot of places that I wanted to see in Moscow, and the summer turned out to be very saturated and long in terms of my sensations of time flow – everything that I wanted. And I managed to talk with a lot more people than in previous years.
Sometimes I wonder if the many weeks of self-isolation had stimulated people to be more open to communicating with other people – which, of course, does not make forced self-isolation correct, since it goes against the Law of the Universe regarding the free will of people and animals.
Although I continued to actively approach girls, I did it in such a way as to have a minimum chance of contracting COVID-19, the cases of which, fortunately, decreased to several hundred per a day during summer.
Also, writing in my book everything that I thought about in one form or another over the years helped me to let go of all those thoughts and fantasies, and I began to focus more on reality. The feeling of not speaking out, of lack of fulfillment, and of uselessness began to disappear, as I directed my life experience into helping other people. Along with the weakening of the onslaught of thoughts, my entire physical body relaxed too, which probably also played a role in why during this long, by the feel of it, summer I was able to speak with many people.
So, once I talked for a few minutes with a woman in Yekaterininskiy Park; she told me that she and her children had had the coronavirus. The illness felt like pneumonia. They did not call doctors because they did not feel there was a threat to their health.
Then there was a case when a girl called out to me in one of the parks where I often go for walking. She was with a stroller, and therefore I did not immediately understand that she wanted to get acquainted. It seemed relatively strange, but then I realized that the girl had certain problems which were clearly reflected in her face and speech. Whether the reason lies in the psychological or in the physical body – I do not know.
Still not quite understanding why the girl with a newborn child wants to meet herself, I asked her this specific question. She said that she was getting acquainted for texting.
Seeing the girl's child, seeing the state of the girl herself, and knowing full well that she has neither a boyfriend nor a husband since she herself tries to get to know people, I had the thought that some guy who may never have had sex decided to use mental disabilities of the girl for his own selfish ends. And when she got pregnant, he dumped her. But that was just a fleeting thought, and I never asked her for details.
I was not against texting and gave her my phone number – I do not mind learning something new, if the process does not harm me. We said goodbye and went our separate ways. I thought I would just give her a link to my free Thiaoouba Prophecy translation. Who knows, maybe the knowledge of that book will somehow help her.
I also realized that I myself did not know how to tell the girl about my knowledge of psychology… If the reason for her torment is in the physical body – I cannot help her, if everything is in order with the physical body and the reason for her problems lies in the psyche – then maybe I can. If the matter is in the psyche, I decided that after writing my book I will give her a link to the file, and then it will depend on her whether she reads the book or not, and if she reads it, then whether she wants to self-educate and work on herself or not…
Walking in the park and thinking about the whole situation, I realized that when I am lost in my imagination, I probably look about the same as that girl with psychological problems. If I, a person who wants so badly to find a girlfriend, was not at all drawn to the girl with the child because of the psychological reflections on her face (and also because of some other reasons), then it is not surprising that many girls refused to meet a stranger with somewhat strange expressions on his face, which are such due to him being lost in his head.
It was another sign to me that I need to stop being in my head once and for all when life does not require it. As I said, this is ridiculously easy to do, because you just need to focus your attention on what is happening in the present. For example: when I eat, I eat; when I wash, I wash; when I watch a video, I watch a video; when I write a book and remember the details of life, I remember the details of life; when I write a computer program and I need to imagine the operation of some instrument, I imagine its work, but when the phone rings, my attention switches to getting out of bed, walking to the phone, picking up the receiver, and then to the pronunciation of “hello?” – this is the only way to function with full efficiency; Being lost in our heads when it is not required will reduce our productivity in the real life.
Without straying far from the topic of imagination and talking with oneself in one’s head, many people, when reading to themselves, “pronounce” the text they read in their head – that is, they “hear” the words in their minds, as if they are reading aloud. So, this approach is not entirely correct. I used to have trouble breaking this habit of saying readable text to myself, which made me rather tired after several hours of reading books. But in the end, I was able to make progress. When you are focused on reality, during reading you simply scan the text with your eyes, and your brain interprets the incoming data into mental “pictures” in your mind. With this approach, you also read faster, and your unloaded brain practically does not get tired of such reading. In general, it is logical that you do not need to pronounce words to yourself in your mind – not only no one (except telepaths) will hear you, but you yourself already know the meaning of the spoken word even before you pronounce it in your head (otherwise, without the presence of data in consciousness, you could not pronounce it). By the way, learning also becomes easier and more effective when you do not say the readable text to yourself in your mind.
By the way, fantasies and conversations in the head are quite different. The fantasies themselves (without words) do not strain the muscles of the face, but when you start to “voice” imaginary characters in your head, then the facial muscles begin to be tense. Why do you need the ability to “speak” in your head (when you seem to “hear” the words)? Reading? I already wrote that we better perceive readable information when we simply scan the text with our eyes, and our brain interprets the received data into mental images in our mind. One of my speculations is that this voice in the head might have meaning for telepathy. Otherwise, how could Thao project her voice into my mind while sending me two telepathic messages? Thao's voice in my head sounded completely different from the “voice” that occurs when speaking in my head; her voice was very clear and “loud”, while my own voice in my head is muffled and distant. There was also a feeling that the telepathic message from Thao sounded in my head, but my voice, when talking to myself, sounds more in the imagination – that is, telepathy has a clear difference from our own voice in our head (we can have such a voice when reading books to yourself, or during fantasies). Perhaps, when a person transmits a telepathic message, he speaks in this way in his mind, and the receiving party hears a clear and loud sound of the transmitted words in his head?