It was a frosty morning when I struggled to go to the nearest police station. I was told there that they do not serve my area. I went to another station, which was further from my home. I felt stress from such a long walk, because deep inside I remembered about my long-standing incident, when I barely reached my house, where I felt comfortable and could calm down and relax – at least a little. More nervousness was added by the memory about the army. What if, instead of helping me, the police decided to send me for an examination of the non-existent disease – stuttering?
But everything was okay. I explained my situation to the police, and I filed a report. One of the policemen called that company, but could not do anything, because, according to him, there was a legally savvy person. In addition, they were leaving to investigate a murder, and they did not have time for me – which I fully understand.
By and large, it was clear that while the police clearly saw that the company had deceived me, they could not do anything because of the signed agreement. Should have read the contract before signing it… because even if it says complete nonsense that contradicts logic and common sense, the judicial system will still be on the side of nonsense.
I was not going to pay money to scammers and thought about buying a cheap computer for the little money that I still had. And I was considering to start working as a programmer again in order to save up on a normal, fast computer. But then the scammers called in order to return my laptop back. I was determined to take my laptop and not give them a dime.
It turned out that the courier forgot to bring the power adapter for my laptop. I did not sign or pay anything. He left for my adapter and I never saw him again. As I recall, the man from that company had the audacity to call me and demand money for diagnostics, which, of course, they did not do. The laptop was never even turned on by them. I used the power supply that they lost to get rid of them and never heard their calls again. It suited me, as it would be humiliating to pay them money for deceiving me.
On Friday of that week, I had a dream saying that “they will bring my adapter to me”. About a week later, I ordered a new one from the company that I checked for honesty from the reviews of former customers. They brought an adapter which cost 2 000 rubles.
As for the video card firmware, I walked with difficulty to the local repair center specializing in Apple products. It was in the basement of a Khrushchyovka, and I had long been aware of its existence. It turned out that they were repairing not only Apple devices. Usually, the master took a thousand and a half rubles for work, but because of the specifics of my situation, he asked for 2000. The BIOS was successfully flashed, and the computer happily recognized the Dell graphics card that now “considered itself” to be an MSI graphics card – just as I expected.
When I was still walking home in the dark with the firmware updated video card, I could not help but think that all three two thousand rubles that I had to pay were a punishment for the fact that once upon a time I made erroneous decisions to go to three prostitutes, to all of whom I also paid two thousand for each of the four visits; of course I still had to spend money to take the subway.
Soon, the new adapter began to malfunction and I had to buy a new one. It cost a little less than three thousand rubles…
Life Lessons
For some time, maybe months, I had had a strong crush on one streamer girl. Perhaps her unusual voice, as well as my compassion for her life problems caused by such a voice, influenced the fact that I very often thought and dreamed of her. Sometimes I exchanged short messages with her. Once I went to the stream of that girl I really liked; she played Resident Evil (Remake) and diligently tried to kill the initial zombie with a knife in order to learn how to use that melee weapon and also to save ammo. I decided to politely say hello to her in the chat, writing “Hi!))”, And also added in that message a question about how long she was going to torment the poor zombie (or something like that), and I definitely did not forget to put a smiley bracket “))” after the question mark so that it could be seen that the question is comic and not coercing, and not serious and irritable – after my old mini-incident with Yulia, I remembered the importance of punctuation marks and others signs that mean emotions. But the streamer girl apparently did not know this, and said something like: “Why is there always someone who…?” It hurt me a little then… I was just “someone”, and she did not even remember that I rarely, but talked to her. Of course, it also hurt me that a person I liked treated me so coldly. I did not write anything, and just deleted her from my favorite streamers list. I did not think about her anymore and neither did I dream about her…
Around these years, I began to have a series of dreams about my tooth. The first dream showed that the tooth, which I had previously filled in a paid clinic, had a deep blackness on the side looking at another tooth located deeper in the mouth. When I woke up, I checked the tooth in the mirror, but I did not see anything bad. My reassurance was broken by the fact that I soon felt a piece of tooth in my mouth. It was the same tooth that opened the caries from the distant tooth. Just like in my dream. Due to the poor state of my health, I could not go to the dentist, as it was clear that I would be injected with a local pain medication. The problem was that years earlier I did not feel very well in a paid clinic when I was given local anesthesia. I was afraid that I could get sick again with all the consequences. In subsequent years, I had other dreams about that lateral tooth, and about the front tooth with its nerve removed.
Then I started having dreams about cancer. The first dream said that I had cancer of the right testicle. At the same time with these words, I looked in that dream at my genitals, and my right testicle was very swollen. Sometimes I really felt unpleasant pain and tension in that part of my body. I read that people can live five years with testicular cancer. About six have passed since then. I still have some discomfort. I must say that once during meditation I felt the tension subside in that area, and I felt something that I would call “dissolving”. I knew within myself that this was a positive sign, meaning that I was being cured. And I really felt better, as if there had never been any symptoms. As you probably realize, I did not always meditate, and continued to return to the bad habits of masturbation and imagination.
I kept playing video games too. Playing once in Final Fantasy XIII-2, I again felt the electric touch. That time on my right leg. I immediately pressed Alt+Tab, and saw that the clock in Windows was showing 33 minutes. This was my third and final experience with the electric touches.
Unfortunately, I played the game for a long time, completing all the achievements in it. Time flew by almost imperceptibly.
The next interesting event happened on May 5, 2015. I woke up and saw an eye in the dark in front of my closed eyes. It half closed its eyelids, as if showing me that this was not a dream. Not sure, but maybe I saw barely noticeable outlines of a face. In color, that eye was pale green or blue. I remembered that Latoli had similar eyes in the colorful drawing of her. Could it have been her? When I looked at the clock after the vision had dissolved in the darkness of my closed eyes, I saw 7:33 AM there. A lot of time had passed since the last time I saw Thao…
Since I write in this memoir what happened to me in my life and what had a strong influence on me, I should say that until that moment I started thinking, for some reason, and maybe I did not believe it completely, that Latoli thought badly of me because of my bad habits. Perhaps this was somehow related to the fact that I had never seen her and never received any messages from her. Not that she had to tell me anything – of course not. But I took this event as a sign for me that my strange worries were groundless, and everything was okay.