Of course, as you know, I had many dreams the events of which very strongly reflected what would be happening to me after some time.
The same applies to the dream I had a few years earlier. In it I was in the village, walking down the road to the spring. A woman with a dog was going in my direction. I was so afraid of the dog… that I did not see the big bear that, unlike the dog, posed the real danger.
That day after the dream I was walking by the lake and saw a girl with a big dog walking towards me in the distance. Next to her were two guys, one of whom was jumping in front of her. Ever since I was bitten twice by a friend’s long-haired dachshund in childhood, I tried to keep my distance from dogs, and this time was no exception. When I was walking close to the girl, she left two guys with the words “Oh Lord!” It became clear that they harassed her and did not allow her to pass. At the same time, they clearly believed that they were not doing anything wrong, not seeing how they appeared in the eyes of others. Then I saw how the father of my childhood friend walked nearby in my direction. We greeted each other, and those two guys saw this, as well as the expression on my twisted face – but I still did not understand that I had problems with facial expressions, as I forgot many things. I went further down the path and one of the guys started asking me about my long hair and about where he and his friend had wandered to. Another guy left to speak with the friend's father, pointing at me. After a couple of seconds, he started running fast towards me and with all his might he was going to hit me with his fist in the face, but at the last moment he changed the trajectory.
I politely said goodbye and calmly went on long the lake, and not quite adequate guys continued to pester other people who calmly and without disturbing anyone sunbathed in the sun.
I was able to guess what was said then by my friend’s father only a couple of years later, after meeting Marina.
Marina told me that she had a female friend who used to be single, and she only recently had found a boyfriend. I did not know who she was talking about. But there was one girl who I also often saw walking with her dog at my house, and I was thinking about coming up to her and getting to know her. In fact, I remembered how she stood and looked at me a few years earlier when I was waiting for my mother at the entrance to my house to help her withdraw money from an ATM. In any case, due to the lack of experience and certain knowledge, I was then not able to just make up my mind and approach a girl for a conversation.
I think this happened in the winter of 2017-2018. I walked home from a walk and decided to go not on the asphalt, but in the snow under the trees. I saw a large company of people with dogs. Among them was the same girl whom I was interested in, and the father of my friend. I greeted him and he answered mutually. At that moment, the girl asked him: “Who’s that?” – and his answer just struck me: “Дурачок” – (the word “idiot” would probably be the closest translation here).
It is so good that there was a lot of people there, and I continued to go home…
I had a lot of thoughts regarding that moment, and one of the most significant is that this person could have told me that I had some strange changes back when I was fourteen. Or any other time. But no. When meeting with me, no one said anything to my face, but when a young girl took an interest in me, it was necessary to say that very word, instead of just saying that my name was Zhenya, and I was a longtime friend of his son.
In fact, this applies to many of my friends. All of them could have told me that I had changed, that there was something wrong with the facial expressions of my face, and I needed to change the course of my thoughts. Then I remembered that the class teacher in the ninth grade was telling me exactly that, and a classmate immediately confirmed her words. Then there were other people who allowed themselves to talk unflatteringly about me. But I did not listen to them, because, firstly, I was offended by rudeness, not having the spiritual understanding that I have now, and secondly, I did not have the necessary material knowledge to change the course of my life.
This was the answer to why no one told me about my changes – they did not know that which I know now. They did not know about the Superior Intelligence and about the reasons for the creation of the Universe. They did not know about the duality of life, and that a person can be focused either on the present or on his inner world. They did not know that madness is a simple loss of control that can be restored by choosing to return one’s focus to the present moment of life; and meditation and concentration can assist the process. They did not know about the Law of the Universe that absolutely all errors must be repaid by suffering. They did not know about the existence of Michel Desmarquet’s book “Thiaoouba Prophecy”, nor about its veracity. And they did not know many other things.
Based on these understandings, it becomes clear that those people who already had certain spiritual knowledge could not help me because of the lack of necessary material knowledge, and those who did not have that spiritual knowledge were not afraid of the consequences of their bad, erroneous actions.
This understanding is the main reason why I subsequently decided to write this book – to convey to people my knowledge.
After the first reading of Thiaoouba Prophecy, I thought that I would not find a girl of similar spiritual affinity, since I did not think that they exist in the modern society of this planet. But I myself was not a very spiritual person, as it turned out. Again, the question arose about what I did in order to help people improve their material knowledge about the Universe, which as a result would help increase the level of spiritual knowledge in many people?
Of course, there were those who tried to somehow help me. So, one village friend told me: “Hold on. We are with you!” – after I stopped studying at the institute. But then I could not reconcile with how my life was going, as this would mean reconciling with the suffering, which, as it turned out later, was the result of my mistake. Had I reconciled, then most likely I would not have discovered the truth about many things. Then I also remember the status of the long-time friend in VK with, he said something like that someone complains about life and someone is looking for possibilities. I could also arm myself with this phrase.
As for the girl with the dog, some time after the death of my father, I decided to go up to her so as not to think about her much more. When during our conversation I asked her if she remembered that moment with the friend’s father, the girl walked away with a wry smile and without saying goodbye.
Then I also remembered how my uncle Vitya told me in childhood: “I don’t understand, are you an idiot!?” – I did not know then why he suddenly uttered that phrase that was not perceived as very offensive. I already had problems with my speech at that time, and I think that the imagination, which I remember was always a part of my life, played a role – I was often in my mind, and people saw it but did not understand the true reason for my “strange” look. If uncle Vitya knew what I knew, he would have most likely told me to be more relaxed and focused on reality.
***
I again began to watch streams of the streamer whom I had not watched for many months because of Alyona. Soon I saw a video, which someone shared in his group in VK, where he kissed Alyona. Then it became clear that they really were together for some time. But this news no longer hurt me in my soul. Due to the large number of dating attempts and other life understandings that I discovered in recent months, I was calm about the fact that someone had romantic relationships, but I did not. Moreover, I knew that they broke up, and the guy suffered for some time because of this. I remembered again that life has many shades of a wide variety of colors.