The sun went down, and I decided to walk with D to her stop as it was already dark. She told me that she had made an appointment with a doctor for diagnostics, as she had been sleeping badly for a year, falling asleep only in the morning. By looking at her it was not at all obvious that she had problems with sleep, since I know perfectly well from my own experience what state a person would be in at 10 PM after many months of lack of sleep. D was very cheerful, but I was beginning to yawn…
I told her about my experience with meditation, thanks to which I began to fall asleep calmly and quickly many years ago. I advised her to try to concentrate on the breath or on the sounds around her, and perhaps then she would not have to go to the doctor.
Not far from the stop, she unexpectedly said goodbye to me, touching my hand and never once looking into my eyes. It was so unexpected that I did not even wish her a good night’s sleep. I decided that I would text her good night when I get home, since I did not have a normal internet tariff on my phone.
Naturally, I understood that with this girl I most likely would not have anything. Plus, I could not help thinking about ZOZOZO. Thanks to my spirituality, I realized that this was no coincidence, but I still could not see the full picture…
Anyway, we had previously planned to meet on Sunday for biking in the park, and I thought to tell D upon our meeting more about Thiaoouba and my early sexual experiences just to see what would happen and what I could learn.
But I decided to make a rule for myself that I will not go to any cafes and restaurants with a girl until we are in a relationship – this will weed out those who do not want a serious relationship, but only want to use a person for a free dinner.
At home, I wrote her a wish for a peaceful sleep, and on Saturday morning my mother and I went to the village. We took the seedlings with us.
I arrived in the evening, and a new voice message from D was waiting for me. For some reason she decided to move an old closet out of her room – all because she did not like it. I did not quite understand what this message was for, but it again became clear to me that D and I have a huge abyss in terms of seeing materialistic things.
On Sunday, I wrote to D about the meeting, but mentioned that I was very tired after the trip to the village, in which I had to quickly repair the shower’s roof that blown off by a hurricane wind, and I would just like to sit somewhere and chat. I saw that she was online in WhatsApp but did not reply. After a while, I called her to make the appointment. She said that she had just woken up and could not think of anything that we could go to.
Earlier I read on the Internet about scammers and how girls often get acquainted with guys on dating sites, and if they do not like the man, they just go to a cafe with him to eat for free at someone else's expense. It is interesting to mention that one person wrote that 8 out of 10 girls he invited to dinner just wanted to eat at his expense. The Pareto Principle is back in action…
There I also read how some women pretended to be sick in order to lure hundreds of thousands of rubles out of a man for “treatment”… Then some of the things said by D began to take on a different color…
Having not made an appointment with D, I thought of going to Gorky Park to continue my search for the girlfriend. But I decided that I would go to WhatsApp when I am near the metro – what if D still decides to meet? And she did text me about her desire to meet and ride on the bicycles – did she forget what I told her regarding my sick and tired hands after the village? Or did she not care?
Okay. Despite my physical state, I was not averse to trying for once in the century to ride a bicycle in the park and get some new impressions.
Next, D texted me how we could go to drink tea with ginger… Then she wrote about the solarium, saying that she would stay in it for a while.
At first, I thought to say upon meeting her that I would not go to a cafe, since I can no longer spend a lot of money – in any case, we met to ride bicycles and not go to a cafe. But because of my decency, I decided to warn D that we would not go to the cafe. She wrote that she could pay herself, or we could not go there at all.
The next message I received almost 2 hours later, when D wrote: “Hello, I probably won’t have time…”. She did not answer my follow-up questions, although she read my messages – as was seen in WhatsApp.
D only briefly replied the next day that she had decided to get ready for work. She never apologized for not writing anything at all the previous day, when I was waiting for her in the park for a long time.
Everything was clear here – as soon as D realized that it would be impossible to get the money out of me, she began to withdraw.
Earlier, I stopped searching for a girlfriend on dating websites since no one from normal people answered me, but scammers were happy to spend my time trying to get money out of me – unsuccessfully, since I asked a person to take a selfie with a piece of paper on which was written my code. It helped weed out all the frivolous people, and therefore I was very lonely on those sites. Now it turned out that you can stumble upon scammers while getting acquainted in real life in the outback of an ordinary metropolitan park. In this regard, I decided to give dating sites another chance.
I made an ad that I was looking for a girlfriend and continued to work on the book, occasionally going for a walk in the park to try to get acquainted with someone.
So, in Gorky Park, one pretty girl agreed to meet. Her name was Katya, and she was very laconic. During the conversation, I learned that during the 3 decades of her life she had never had a boyfriend, and she was always alone. The girl said that it suited her and she did not need anyone. In terms of friends, I am also not very worried about loneliness, but as for the girlfriend and love, here the matter is completely different – but she said that she could not help me with this. She continued to be silent, and at one point I thought that maybe the moment had come when I myself should say goodbye to the girl and go for a walk? I also remembered how I myself was silent as a child due to stuttering. I decided that I would try to tell her my story with Thiaoouba – new knowledge could help her to overcome her problems.
It is worth mentioning that the girl, just like D, suggested that I go to a psychologist with my speech stupors, which were still present due to my stubbornness – I continued to make mistakes even though I had had all the necessary knowledge to live a normal life for a long time. In fact, I have not had depression and stress for a long time, since my understandings about life helped me get rid of them, but I still need to remove the remaining black spots from my life canvas… Katya herself signed up for a psychologist to just talk with someone about anything at all.
So, it was not without hiccups, but I told the girl about the main reasons behind the creation of the Universe, its laws, and why I know that this is all true. It took me about an hour.
I realized that the girl was bored when she began to look at the time on her phone. And then she said she had a headache and she was going to leave. She refused to exchange phones and write down the title of the book, since, according to her, she does not read books at all. I wished her all the best, and she slowly left.
At least someone agreed to talk to me, and again I found confirmation that I was not alone on this “Planet of Sorrows”. And I also finally, after more than three years of trying to find a girlfriend, was able to tell someone my life story in real life.
For a very long time, I thought that girls would stop communicating with me after my life story, but in fact almost no one wants to even start a conversation. This is depressing…